Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Poor kid. That's why I don't use daycare.
It's like kenneling your kid.

I suppose you also will home school.

And you can really only have one child, unless you want them both to be victims of this terrible hardship.

haha - truth.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The daycare workers should be close by and intervening at this age before it gets to the hitting/biting stage. There should be multiples of toys. Daycare ratios are really too high for the amount of close by supervision a herd of toddlers needs.

As a teacher, these things are closely monitored but we also try and let kids negotiate for themselves, maybe sit by and help facilitate the language needed. You can't just intervene assuming hitting is about to happen and solve all their problems for them- how can they deal with conflict if they never learn to resolve it?

A VERY sane comment- thanks

Anonymous wrote:The daycare workers should be close by and intervening at this age before it gets to the hitting/biting stage. There should be multiples of toys. Daycare ratios are really too high for the amount of close by supervision a herd of toddlers needs.

As a teacher, these things are closely monitored but we also try and let kids negotiate for themselves, maybe sit by and help facilitate the language needed. You can't just intervene assuming hitting is about to happen and solve all their problems for them- how can they deal with conflict if they never learn to resolve it?

Unfortunately that is what kids do at that age. They don't have the verbal skills to talk out a situation so end up hitting or biting. I am sure it is just a phase that will end quickly. All you can do is talk to the teachers and make sure they intervene or redirect when the kids have a conflict.

My boy was a biter. Not really a hitter, interestingly. He was also precociously verbal, so the explanation that kids bite because they can't use their words wasn't his trouble - he just got overwhelmed and bowled over by his emotions he snapped and bit. Happened between ages 18mo and 20mo, I'd say, and then just stopped. We also really liked the Hands are Not for Hitting/Teeth are Not for Biting/Words are Not for Hurting series. And, OP, to give you hope: after his stint as the sand box hellion, my son became a lovely boy, and he is now a kind, well liked 7 year old who hasn't hit anything for a very long time.

The daycare workers should be close by and intervening at this age before it gets to the hitting/biting stage. There should be multiples of toys. Daycare ratios are really too high for the amount of close by supervision a herd of toddlers needs.

OP, we had great results with Hands Are Not for Hitting. They also have Teeth Are Not for Biting, Tails Are Not for Pulling, etc. I have no idea why they work so well, but they are made of magic. DD used to hit me at this age, but reading these to her every day for a week or so made it stop. The day care might even have these books-I've seen them in several-but if they don't, you could give them a copy too.

And, it is normal behavior. Not all kids have an aggressive phase, but many do. It doesn't mean it's something you should ignore, but it is normal.

OP should keep doing more of what she's doing until the problem irons itself out. Hopefully the aggression will fade with time and patience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can work with him at home to enforce reinforce not hitting but the time you spend with him doing that is minimal to the time he spends in daycare so it really depends on what they are doing at the daycare to enforce/reinforce. They may not be sending the same messages as you and as he is there for far more hours in a day then he is with you, what happens at daycare is going to be far more influential than what you do at home for an hour or two. Often at daycare it is the other kids who are doing the teaching and that is exactly what happened here. Another 3 yr old taught him a lesson about not hitting.

This is so not helpful.

Agreed, and the tone just seems snide and nasty. About the only useful point raided here is getting on the same page as the daycare. What rules do they have? How do they phrase their expectations? Have they read one of the above-mentioned books? If you can reasonably use the same language and expectations at home as they do at daycare, that might be valuable. If the child is receiving an identical or nearly identical message from all of his caregivers, it will likely be increasingly effective thanks to the repetition and consistency.

Anonymous wrote:You can work with him at home to enforce reinforce not hitting but the time you spend with him doing that is minimal to the time he spends in daycare so it really depends on what they are doing at the daycare to enforce/reinforce. They may not be sending the same messages as you and as he is there for far more hours in a day then he is with you, what happens at daycare is going to be far more influential than what you do at home for an hour or two. Often at daycare it is the other kids who are doing the teaching and that is exactly what happened here. Another 3 yr old taught him a lesson about not hitting.

This is so not helpful.

You can work with him at home to enforce reinforce not hitting but the time you spend with him doing that is minimal to the time he spends in daycare so it really depends on what they are doing at the daycare to enforce/reinforce. They may not be sending the same messages as you and as he is there for far more hours in a day then he is with you, what happens at daycare is going to be far more influential than what you do at home for an hour or two. Often at daycare it is the other kids who are doing the teaching and that is exactly what happened here. Another 3 yr old taught him a lesson about not hitting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Poor kid. That's why I don't use daycare.
It's like kenneling your kid.

I suppose you also will home school.

And you can really only have one child, unless you want them both to be victims of this terrible hardship.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hitting / biting is not normal behavior, although certain people will scream their disagreement. I can only suspect that something was happening at daycare.

You are an idiot, although I assume you are also a troll.

Anyone with a basic knowledge of child development would know that toddlers lack the vocabulary to express needs, wants and emotions. They get frustrated, they often act out in aggression. Totally normal, and nothing to be concerned about.

Here's a novel concept for our hateful poster:
Have you ever considered the possibility that there may be more than one way of effective communication?

If you are so removed from your child, that the only language you comprehend is English, you are at a tremendous disadvantage. And it's easy to understand why your child feels compelled to resort to attack on others, in order to be heard.

All children communicate at birth. Parents and caregivers may or may not be equipped to understand and correctly respond to the child's communication. At least that's my experience.

NP here. I don't think there is one "hateful poster" here. There are multiple posters who are all arguing against you. You are the one who is alone here, trying to convince everybody that you know something about child development.

Your bully behavior has no purpose here. This thread is about toddler behavior and communication.

I'm sorry this reality check made you feel bullied. Maybe you should go back and look at your own posts and see who is the bully here. OP was seeking advice, and you are taking this opportunity to blame her parenting skills for her son's experience of a very common situation. You also seem to have an anti-daycare agenda (and I say this as a SAHM).

OP here. Thank you for saying this, PP. The anonymous poster that keeps commenting about my toddler's behavior not being normal, etc (but has yet to address my question about what IS normal) is clearly intent on shaming me. How mean-spirited of you. Thanks to the other PPs with helpful comments.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hitting / biting is not normal behavior, although certain people will scream their disagreement. I can only suspect that something was happening at daycare.

You are an idiot, although I assume you are also a troll.

Anyone with a basic knowledge of child development would know that toddlers lack the vocabulary to express needs, wants and emotions. They get frustrated, they often act out in aggression. Totally normal, and nothing to be concerned about.

Here's a novel concept for our hateful poster:
Have you ever considered the possibility that there may be more than one way of effective communication?

If you are so removed from your child, that the only language you comprehend is English, you are at a tremendous disadvantage. And it's easy to understand why your child feels compelled to resort to attack on others, in order to be heard.

All children communicate at birth. Parents and caregivers may or may not be equipped to understand and correctly respond to the child's communication. At least that's my experience.

NP here. I don't think there is one "hateful poster" here. There are multiple posters who are all arguing against you. You are the one who is alone here, trying to convince everybody that you know something about child development.

Your bully behavior has no purpose here. This thread is about toddler behavior and communication.

I'm sorry this reality check made you feel bullied. Maybe you should go back and look at your own posts and see who is the bully here. OP was seeking advice, and you are taking this opportunity to blame her parenting skills for her son's experience of a very common situation. You also seem to have an anti-daycare agenda (and I say this as a SAHM).

There are also books by Mieners titled Share and Take Turns or Cool Down and Work Through Anger that are geared towards teaching young children better ways to manage.

Yes, these things happen. It's normal and yes adults should be addressing it through coaching good behaviors and through discipline in the moment.