Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And this, my friends, is why no matter what happens with your kids, you should split the $ equally among them. I cannot tell you the amount of strife in my family, and in others, due to parents leaving differing sums of money to each heir. It NEVER ends well.

The grandfather left equal amounts to each grandchild. It sounds like the adult children did not get anything, so two of them took their children's cut.

I read the OP as saying the two adult brothers took all kids money with a promise to repay it when they reach college. Not just their own kids, but the nieces and nephews as well.

OP - which way is it? Did they just take their own kids money or money for all the grandkids?

Not OP but I read it as two siblings took THEIR OWN kids money. Since the money didnt go to a trust, it was probably written to each child, and then the parents of EACH CHILD had access to it. they wouldnt have been able to get their hands on the other siblings' kid's money.

OP, money does terrible thing to people sometimes. We just went through a death in the family and the actions of the surviving child were just awful (although, I cant say surprising).

OP here this is correct. Thanks for clarifying this...I never meant it to come across as the other way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And this, my friends, is why no matter what happens with your kids, you should split the $ equally among them. I cannot tell you the amount of strife in my family, and in others, due to parents leaving differing sums of money to each heir. It NEVER ends well.

The grandfather left equal amounts to each grandchild. It sounds like the adult children did not get anything, so two of them took their children's cut.

I read the OP as saying the two adult brothers took all kids money with a promise to repay it when they reach college. Not just their own kids, but the nieces and nephews as well.

OP - which way is it? Did they just take their own kids money or money for all the grandkids?

Not the OP, but no, they took their own kids' money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And this, my friends, is why no matter what happens with your kids, you should split the $ equally among them. I cannot tell you the amount of strife in my family, and in others, due to parents leaving differing sums of money to each heir. It NEVER ends well.

The grandfather left equal amounts to each grandchild. It sounds like the adult children did not get anything, so two of them took their children's cut.

I read the OP as saying the two adult brothers took all kids money with a promise to repay it when they reach college. Not just their own kids, but the nieces and nephews as well.

OP - which way is it? Did they just take their own kids money or money for all the grandkids?

Not OP but I read it as two siblings took THEIR OWN kids money. Since the money didnt go to a trust, it was probably written to each child, and then the parents of EACH CHILD had access to it. they wouldnt have been able to get their hands on the other siblings' kid's money.

OP, money does terrible thing to people sometimes. We just went through a death in the family and the actions of the surviving child were just awful (although, I cant say surprising).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And this, my friends, is why no matter what happens with your kids, you should split the $ equally among them. I cannot tell you the amount of strife in my family, and in others, due to parents leaving differing sums of money to each heir. It NEVER ends well.

The grandfather left equal amounts to each grandchild. It sounds like the adult children did not get anything, so two of them took their children's cut.

I read the OP as saying the two adult brothers took all kids money with a promise to repay it when they reach college. Not just their own kids, but the nieces and nephews as well.

OP - which way is it? Did they just take their own kids money or money for all the grandkids?

Anonymous wrote:Do people think its fair that the siblings with more kids get essentially more money?? I mean if each grandkid gets 150k and you have 3 of those kids vs only one of those kids thats harsh? Also wonder if there was a sibling with NO kids?

I think it's totally wrong to bypass children and give directly to grandchildren. Why??? It looks like this totally insanse childcentric approach where younger is somehow better or more virtous. If my parents did this I would be furious.

If you are bypassing children, then I guess it makes sense that every grandchild should get the same amount. But as I said, mistake starts with going there in the first place.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do people think its fair that the siblings with more kids get essentially more money?? I mean if each grandkid gets 150k and you have 3 of those kids vs only one of those kids thats harsh? Also wonder if there was a sibling with NO kids?

No, that is not fair.

The money isn't for the adults. It was for the grandchildren. Each grandchild got an equal cut, I think that's fair.

Anonymous wrote:Do people think its fair that the siblings with more kids get essentially more money?? I mean if each grandkid gets 150k and you have 3 of those kids vs only one of those kids thats harsh? Also wonder if there was a sibling with NO kids?

No, that is not fair.

Anonymous wrote:And this, my friends, is why no matter what happens with your kids, you should split the $ equally among them. I cannot tell you the amount of strife in my family, and in others, due to parents leaving differing sums of money to each heir. It NEVER ends well.

The grandfather left equal amounts to each grandchild. It sounds like the adult children did not get anything, so two of them took their children's cut.

Anonymous wrote:Do people think its fair that the siblings with more kids get essentially more money?? I mean if each grandkid gets 150k and you have 3 of those kids vs only one of those kids thats harsh? Also wonder if there was a sibling with NO kids?

Right. Or what if one sibling has 5 kids and another has only 1 - NO that wouldn't cause any problems. Money is always a problem.

Do people think its fair that the siblings with more kids get essentially more money?? I mean if each grandkid gets 150k and you have 3 of those kids vs only one of those kids thats harsh? Also wonder if there was a sibling with NO kids?

Anonymous wrote:
"My grandfather left money to 4 of his 9 grandchildren with an explanation reading that it was not because he loved them any less, but because he was confident in their futures. "


" what a moron."

" 15 years later, he called it well. The 4 he left money for were homeschooled and maladjusted. They lack the skills to do anything beyond fast food. "

Since the money left to the grandkids wasn't used wisely, how was it a good call?

The children who got the money would never be able to afford the down payment for a house, have no insurance, and have little means to care for themselves. It's kind of like when parents make arrangements for their special needs children so they can live pseudo-independently.

I'm so sorry OP. This kind of family division is all too common. I would be disgusted by my siblings also, but I think your only good option is to keep your mouth shut.

In my family there are long standing (decades) feuds between siblings because of who ended up w/ a given ring, or set of dishes, or a piano, etc.... All of it triggering ridiculous anger about stuff - it's awful, and petty and hurtful.

Sorry for your loss, and the resulting mess.

NP here. Unless it is disbursed by equal number, equal amount, to each of the first generation, it will be construed as favoritism; and will absolutely cause problems within the family. Like it or not.

"My grandfather left money to 4 of his 9 grandchildren with an explanation reading that it was not because he loved them any less, but because he was confident in their futures. "


" what a moron."

" 15 years later, he called it well. The 4 he left money for were homeschooled and maladjusted. They lack the skills to do anything beyond fast food. "

Since the money left to the grandkids wasn't used wisely, how was it a good call?