Anonymous wrote:DD is a bright kid, takes a few AP classes and generally gets decent grades. However, she is not a psychotic striver like some of you seem to believe is the only acceptable approach to life. She is not going to graduate having built orphanages on Mars or fed starving budgies in Dubuque. She's probably never going to win a Nobel prize, or a Pulitzer, or a Crackerjack (I know - The Horror, The Horror!). She's just a decent kid who works reasonably hard and generally keeps her head above water. The kind of behavior that got me into a decent college and landed me a decent job.

Now, I know some of you are going to suggest we stuff her in a sack and drown her in the millpond before it's too late, but we've grown kind of attached to the lil' blighter. And now that it's time to start thinking about the ol' college search, we find ourselves wondering:

Where to start? What are good schools for average students, especially in the STEM fields?

My DD is just like your daughter and she did not care about where she would go when she was a Sophomore. She started to care in the middle of Junior year and was panicked that her GPA was so low (only 3.4 by then). She studied hard for the tests and scored 99th% for both SAT (2180) and ACT (33). I have to tell you that even with these test scores, her college choices are still not what she wants. Well, she does get a few admissions from schools rank in the 30-50th (from the US News), but she is not happy. She is disappointed and regrets for her behaviors in earlier years.

As parents, we did not push her because she wasn't turning bad or anything, but just wasn't interested in school work. We thought it was okay and she would land in a college no matter what. Now seeing how unhappy she is, we regret for not guiding her to get good grades... Although we are happy she has good schools to choose from, we feel that we did not do a good job helping... She said she didn't care, but she does now !!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what happened to this thread? a bunch of posts were removed. probably obnoxious posts but still.

OP here. Thanks again to everyone who chimed in with advice - this is very helpful.

I'm grateful the obnoxious posts (and yeah, some of them were mine) got deleted - they were distracting from the point of the thread. By way of explanation, I was not slamming high-achieving students. Hey, good on them! Seriously.

I was slamming the crazy helicopter parents I see on DCUM who act as if their kids are Doomed To A Life Of Failure And Poverty And Despair if they don't constantly ride them to get straight A's in all AP classes while playing sports at an elite level and performing 80 hours a week of community service and winning all the prizes in every category and, and, and... Frankly, I feel sorry for their kids, even if they are doing well.

These are the same people who argue about whether Duke, Vanderbilt or Penn is "better" and about whether Yale is more prestigious than Columbia. Idiots, all.

Why are they idiots? Their kids have to make a choice. Getting more information is helpful for making choices.

Because it is like arguing about how many angels fit on the head of a pin. The difference in prestige is miniscule at best, clearly not universally agreed upon (else why would anyone be arguing) and therefore not worth even a moment of consideration. Feel, fit, location, size, weather, availability of preferred activities, love of basketball--all relevant to a decision between Duke and Penn. Prestige? No.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what happened to this thread? a bunch of posts were removed. probably obnoxious posts but still.

OP here. Thanks again to everyone who chimed in with advice - this is very helpful.

I'm grateful the obnoxious posts (and yeah, some of them were mine) got deleted - they were distracting from the point of the thread. By way of explanation, I was not slamming high-achieving students. Hey, good on them! Seriously.

I was slamming the crazy helicopter parents I see on DCUM who act as if their kids are Doomed To A Life Of Failure And Poverty And Despair if they don't constantly ride them to get straight A's in all AP classes while playing sports at an elite level and performing 80 hours a week of community service and winning all the prizes in every category and, and, and... Frankly, I feel sorry for their kids, even if they are doing well.

These are the same people who argue about whether Duke, Vanderbilt or Penn is "better" and about whether Yale is more prestigious than Columbia. Idiots, all.

Why are they idiots? Their kids have to make a choice. Getting more information is helpful for making choices.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what happened to this thread? a bunch of posts were removed. probably obnoxious posts but still.

OP here. Thanks again to everyone who chimed in with advice - this is very helpful.

I'm grateful the obnoxious posts (and yeah, some of them were mine) got deleted - they were distracting from the point of the thread. By way of explanation, I was not slamming high-achieving students. Hey, good on them! Seriously.

I was slamming the crazy helicopter parents I see on DCUM who act as if their kids are Doomed To A Life Of Failure And Poverty And Despair if they don't constantly ride them to get straight A's in all AP classes while playing sports at an elite level and performing 80 hours a week of community service and winning all the prizes in every category and, and, and... Frankly, I feel sorry for their kids, even if they are doing well.

These are the same people who argue about whether Duke, Vanderbilt or Penn is "better" and about whether Yale is more prestigious than Columbia. Idiots, all.

And whether George Mason or Virginia Tech is "better". Same folks.

Anonymous wrote:I am PP. I forgot about George Mason! Fantastic school, great for STEM folk.

But like pointed out for VA Tech, is now also very difficult to get into IF coming from NoVA. Minimum 3.5. DS had 34 composite ACT.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what happened to this thread? a bunch of posts were removed. probably obnoxious posts but still.

OP here. Thanks again to everyone who chimed in with advice - this is very helpful.

I'm grateful the obnoxious posts (and yeah, some of them were mine) got deleted - they were distracting from the point of the thread. By way of explanation, I was not slamming high-achieving students. Hey, good on them! Seriously.

I was slamming the crazy helicopter parents I see on DCUM who act as if their kids are Doomed To A Life Of Failure And Poverty And Despair if they don't constantly ride them to get straight A's in all AP classes while playing sports at an elite level and performing 80 hours a week of community service and winning all the prizes in every category and, and, and... Frankly, I feel sorry for their kids, even if they are doing well.

These are the same people who argue about whether Duke, Vanderbilt or Penn is "better" and about whether Yale is more prestigious than Columbia. Idiots, all.

+1 For sheer entertainment value though, it's pretty amusing to read those threads.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what happened to this thread? a bunch of posts were removed. probably obnoxious posts but still.

OP here. Thanks again to everyone who chimed in with advice - this is very helpful.

I'm grateful the obnoxious posts (and yeah, some of them were mine) got deleted - they were distracting from the point of the thread. By way of explanation, I was not slamming high-achieving students. Hey, good on them! Seriously.

I was slamming the crazy helicopter parents I see on DCUM who act as if their kids are Doomed To A Life Of Failure And Poverty And Despair if they don't constantly ride them to get straight A's in all AP classes while playing sports at an elite level and performing 80 hours a week of community service and winning all the prizes in every category and, and, and... Frankly, I feel sorry for their kids, even if they are doing well.

These are the same people who argue about whether Duke, Vanderbilt or Penn is "better" and about whether Yale is more prestigious than Columbia. Idiots, all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what happened to this thread? a bunch of posts were removed. probably obnoxious posts but still.

OP here. Thanks again to everyone who chimed in with advice - this is very helpful.

I'm grateful the obnoxious posts (and yeah, some of them were mine) got deleted - they were distracting from the point of the thread. By way of explanation, I was not slamming high-achieving students. Hey, good on them! Seriously.

I was slamming the crazy helicopter parents I see on DCUM who act as if their kids are Doomed To A Life Of Failure And Poverty And Despair if they don't constantly ride them to get straight A's in all AP classes while playing sports at an elite level and performing 80 hours a week of community service and winning all the prizes in every category and, and, and... Frankly, I feel sorry for their kids, even if they are doing well.

I'm with you OP. So detrimental to learning, and it turns them into snarky, resentful adults.

Anonymous wrote:what happened to this thread? a bunch of posts were removed. probably obnoxious posts but still.

OP here. Thanks again to everyone who chimed in with advice - this is very helpful.

I'm grateful the obnoxious posts (and yeah, some of them were mine) got deleted - they were distracting from the point of the thread. By way of explanation, I was not slamming high-achieving students. Hey, good on them! Seriously.

I was slamming the crazy helicopter parents I see on DCUM who act as if their kids are Doomed To A Life Of Failure And Poverty And Despair if they don't constantly ride them to get straight A's in all AP classes while playing sports at an elite level and performing 80 hours a week of community service and winning all the prizes in every category and, and, and... Frankly, I feel sorry for their kids, even if they are doing well.

what happened to this thread? a bunch of posts were removed. probably obnoxious posts but still.

Loyola,

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is a bright kid, takes a few AP classes and generally gets decent grades. However, she is not a psychotic striver like some of you seem to believe is the only acceptable approach to life. She is not going to graduate having built orphanages on Mars or fed starving budgies in Dubuque. She's probably never going to win a Nobel prize, or a Pulitzer, or a Crackerjack (I know - The Horror, The Horror!). She's just a decent kid who works reasonably hard and generally keeps her head above water. The kind of behavior that got me into a decent college and landed me a decent job.

Now, I know some of you are going to suggest we stuff her in a sack and drown her in the millpond before it's too late, but we've grown kind of attached to the lil' blighter. And now that it's time to start thinking about the ol' college search, we find ourselves wondering:

Where to start? What are good schools for average students, especially in the STEM fields?

Your child fits the description of most of the students out there. Just remember that the select schools are looking to have a diversified community. I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss not applying to some of the really good schools. Being a hard worker with some AP classes are good attributes. I would also venture outside of the DMV area in your search. The college world has much to offer besides the constant pushing of 2 or 3 schools in this region by a couple of persistent posters in the college forum.

Here's a good link to get you started.

http://www.unigo.com/

Unigroup is a pretty good site. While I think that posters can give general insight (unless their child attends a specific school and has more insight), Unigroup offers insight and opinions from student attendees from thousands of school. And it's not as overwhelming as I might make it sound.

Annnnnd, back to OP's question ... OP, we'd need to know more about your child to recommend some specific colleges, but as has been said on this thread, there are some terrific big state u's that could be a good fit, and some terrific small liberal arts colleges that could work - so bottom line, there will be a great fit for your daughter. Does she like small schools or big schools (a better way to ask this may be - does she want small class sizes with participation being encouraged, or large lectures taught by prof's who are probably researching cool stuff in their main time), city life or college town life, sports emphasis or arts emphasis, to be a plane ride away or within driving distance, cold weather (snow and skiing type) or warm weather (FL type) or any weather type. Once you get a sense from her about how she feels about these types of questions, you can come up with a good list of places to visit over spring break of junior year/summer entering senior year. After all of that you will have a good sense of the types of schools she likes and can broaden or subtract your list from there. Good luck!

I am PP. I forgot about George Mason! Fantastic school, great for STEM folk.

Anonymous wrote:DD is a bright kid, takes a few AP classes and generally gets decent grades. However, she is not a psychotic striver like some of you seem to believe is the only acceptable approach to life. She is not going to graduate having built orphanages on Mars or fed starving budgies in Dubuque. She's probably never going to win a Nobel prize, or a Pulitzer, or a Crackerjack (I know - The Horror, The Horror!). She's just a decent kid who works reasonably hard and generally keeps her head above water. The kind of behavior that got me into a decent college and landed me a decent job.

Now, I know some of you are going to suggest we stuff her in a sack and drown her in the millpond before it's too late, but we've grown kind of attached to the lil' blighter. And now that it's time to start thinking about the ol' college search, we find ourselves wondering:

Where to start? What are good schools for average students, especially in the STEM fields?

You are my NEW FAVORITE PERSON on DCUM! I LOVE this post!!

Schools - University of Delaware comes to mind. She might want to stick with the Southern schools as they will have a lot of people like her. My daughter can get caught up in the competitive rat race (we don't push is, she's just wired tight) and is deliberately picking a school in the south, as she feels it offers a more relaxed environment.