Usually one of the following four apply:

1) Drug money
2) Embezzlement
3) Inheritance or trust
4) Massive CC debt.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My contractor, plumber and handyman all have beach houses or lake houses (I don't). I think self employed folks or business owners who deal in cash often do better than the white collar professionals.

This is why we are fools to pay blue collars more than 25 an hour. Your best defense is to only hire the Spanish speakers.

Nice.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, OP, I'm friends with a couple that I swear must've won the lottery. Endless home improvements, vacations, expensive clothes, dinners out, and supposedly enough left over for investments -- all on an income smaller than ours and a mortgage double ours.

DH and I don't get it, but we've stopped trying to figure it out.

We have friends who live fairly modestly but travel extensively and are full pay at one DC's very pricey college. One spouse doesn't work, the other is a fed (so we have a fair idea of what salary is). We don't think there is family money. DH and I are convinced that they either won the lottery or are involved in some kind of kickback scheme, lol. We love them, regardless!

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea. However, I know many people get help from their family, plus, quite frankly, there are a lot of high earners in this town.

My DH had a buddy that was in the exact same job as him and purchased a nice luxury car. My DH asked him how he does it because no way could he have afforded the car after 401K and savings. His friend laughed and said he does not do 401K or save. So for that situation, there you have it!

Not saying most (or even many) people are like this, but there is truth to this. I was in biglaw for close to a decade and pretty much lived like a grad student the whole time -- studio apartment, no car, 2 vacations in 8 yrs etc. I knew I wouldn't be partner material, nor did I want to tie myself to having to stay at my firm in NYC, so I knew that paycheck was limited. As I was a senior and transitioning out, I end up talking to 2 friends at the firm -- both of whom tell me they have NO 401k. Funding a 401k on a senior associate salary is hardly that big of a deal -- esp for people who are single, no childcare costs etc. But they both saw their time in NYC biglaw as a time to have lavish apartments, one of them had a luxury car -- which he probably drove once a month since you can't drive to work but still he made car payments, garage payments etc. It's all about choices.

My DH had a buddy that was in the exact same job as him and purchased a nice luxury car. My DH asked him how he does it because no way could he have afforded the car after 401K and savings. His friend laughed and said he does not do 401K or save. So for that situation, there you have it!

This. I had a friend that used to say "I like my money now!" He thought that saving for retirement was absolutely nuts.

I think it really varies. There's a couple I know and have met both sets of their parents. Both sets are wealthy, lovely, generous people. Couple bought a new house at $435k in mid-20s and they both work non-profit jobs. It's kind of a no-brainer that they got the money from their parents, at the very least for a large down-payment. Interestingly, I have never gotten anything from my parents but wouldn't turn it down if offered with no strings.

We have no debt but also I am incredibly cheap so right now won't take nice vacations or buy anything not used until I know my DC's college is as paid up as possible. Once that is in good shape and my kid is a bit older, maybe we can all go on a nice vacation. I also think that most of our friends think we are relatively poor compared to them, given our old cars, the fact that we are still in a "starter" house.

Well, one thing DH and I figured out is that most of our friends receive financial help from their parents - trust funds for education, furniture purchases, trips, etc. We both come from big families and have received no funding nor will we inherit anything - it's a challenge at times to not be jealous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many people have wondered (out loud, right to me, in front of my kids even) how I afford things since I'm a SAHM and my boyfriend is a bartender (he owns several bars).

Here's what they don't know:
1. I worked as a child/teen/young adult as a model and saved every bit
2. I actually work from home in a new career but just don't talk about it much
3. The boyfriend's parents are well off and will pay for pretty much anything for the kids, plus his grandparents left him a trust
4. The mistake of thinking my boyfriend is "just a bartender."

This is the most common mistake I think people make in judging other's financial situation. One has no clue what is going on beyond someone else's doorstep, but they cannot help craning their neck to see what they can find. The idea that it is just "curiosity" or that the nosey Nellies aren't jealous is total bullshit. They need to hope beyond hope that you are up to your eyeballs in debt and have no 401(k) and are one Louis Vuitton handbag away from bankruptcy. Otherwise, it just isn't fair that they have to work so hard and can't have everything that you do. They went to a top 10 liberal arts college and saved for a down payment and eat beans 3 times a week to have a fully funded 529 and 401(k) and you just lucked into it??? They can't take it. Also, if you have money saved from modeling, you are probably gorgeous which also kills them.

Anyone who is inquiring about what you have or where your income comes from is up to no good. Straight jealousy.

+1 Agree with you, PP.

Anonymous wrote:Not really. Lots of people around here have lots of money - from jobs, family, selling a business, etc. I think it is odd everyone assumes people are up to their eyeballs in debt.

Agree with this. I have a close friend who lives in a small townhome in Centreville. She buys name brand everything and another friend commented that my close friend may be living beyond her means. Close friend has family money and could easily live where she wants. She just works in 5 min from home and doesn'twant a big house or yard! I know a lot of others who have accumulated money in other ways. Personally I like to give benefit of the doubt. Not my money or lack of money...

Not really. Lots of people around here have lots of money - from jobs, family, selling a business, etc. I think it is odd everyone assumes people are up to their eyeballs in debt.

I'm sure our friends wonder this about us. What they don't know is that I inherited quite a bit from my grandparents, enough that we were able to make a huge down payment on our house and that we could spend every cent of our salaries and still have enough for college, retirement and then some. This is not something that we discuss with other people, so our friends have no idea.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are the millionaires next door and you can be sure we don't talk about it -- except to the other ones.

LOL. That's not what she's asking about. She's asking about people who are CONSPICUOUS in their consumption and how they can afford that on jobs that likely don't pay much. In other words, people unlike yourselves.

I get what you are saying, but really it does sound a bit conspicuous to me : private school, vacations, all the extras -- it adds up. We keep all the sports cars in the garage at out second home. That's where we do the special handshake.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are the millionaires next door and you can be sure we don't talk about it -- except to the other ones.

This post is not about you.

Apparently it is, the OP just does not know it.

Anonymous wrote:Many people have wondered (out loud, right to me, in front of my kids even) how I afford things since I'm a SAHM and my boyfriend is a bartender (he owns several bars).

Here's what they don't know:
1. I worked as a child/teen/young adult as a model and saved every bit
2. I actually work from home in a new career but just don't talk about it much
3. The boyfriend's parents are well off and will pay for pretty much anything for the kids, plus his grandparents left him a trust
4. The mistake of thinking my boyfriend is "just a bartender."

This is the most common mistake I think people make in judging other's financial situation. One has no clue what is going on beyond someone else's doorstep, but they cannot help craning their neck to see what they can find. The idea that it is just "curiosity" or that the nosey Nellies aren't jealous is total bullshit. They need to hope beyond hope that you are up to your eyeballs in debt and have no 401(k) and are one Louis Vuitton handbag away from bankruptcy. Otherwise, it just isn't fair that they have to work so hard and can't have everything that you do. They went to a top 10 liberal arts college and saved for a down payment and eat beans 3 times a week to have a fully funded 529 and 401(k) and you just lucked into it??? They can't take it. Also, if you have money saved from modeling, you are probably gorgeous which also kills them.

Anyone who is inquiring about what you have or where your income comes from is up to no good. Straight jealousy.

People might wonder that about us. We're certainly not extravagant by any means, and in fact, generally live below our means, but we do go on nice trips.

That vacation in Europe? It was visiting family. Sure, the airfare was expensive but the lodging was free. We go to a lot of free events and when we go on weekend trips we always get great deals on Priceline. Our clothes are mainly from thrift stores.

Our house might be worth $800k or so, but we only paid $200k for it. Only one spouse works, the other takes care of the kids, so no daycare payments. In fact we've never paid a dime for childcare for either of our two kids. No student loans. No debts. And we inherited a reasonable sum a couple of years ago - we're not spending it right now, but it has taken the pressure off for aggressive saving.

A few weeks ago a co-worker was complaining about some unexpected home repairs. He is considerably senior to me and his wife also has a senior position in a related field. Their family income has to be 2.5-3.5 ours. But a few hundred extra for a home repair was tough for him. He lives in a small townhome way out in the sticks vs. our well located NW DC house. The difference = 2 daycare payments + hundreds of thousands in student loans + buying their house 5 years later.

Many people have wondered (out loud, right to me, in front of my kids even) how I afford things since I'm a SAHM and my boyfriend is a bartender (he owns several bars).

Here's what they don't know:
1. I worked as a child/teen/young adult as a model and saved every bit
2. I actually work from home in a new career but just don't talk about it much
3. The boyfriend's parents are well off and will pay for pretty much anything for the kids, plus his grandparents left him a trust
4. The mistake of thinking my boyfriend is "just a bartender."