Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these MIL posts are so sad. There's so much anger and horrible feelings towards MILs. I don't believe that there are that many nasty older women. Are DILs overreacting? Or buying into this myth of the evil MIL?

If you are a MIL, how do you handle this? Is there anyway to create a healthy loving relationship with your DIL?
My MIL walked on eggshells around me for years so was obviously worried about it. It actually made it hard to bond with her, she was so sweet & uber polite all the time.

I'd like to be close to my DIL someday. Surely it's possible!

All these nasty MILs are simply the feminists from the prior generation who raise their kids to adulthood. When you start out with an angry bitchy woman who is never happy and never satisfied, constantly looking outside herself to blame others for her unhappiness, what would you expect, exactly?

You sound like an angry bitchy woman who is never happy and never satisfied, constantly looking outside herself to blame others for her unhappiness.

You mean like the MIL who said she hates her DILs and is waiting til her dying breath to tell them that? LOL

Yes, exactly.

Anonymous wrote:Don't like my MIL. Valid reasons that would take too long to type. The relationship is cordial but that is all it will ever be.

But she is a loving and attentive grandmother. When I was growing up I spent extended time with all of my grandparents without my parents around and as a result I had deep relationships with my grandparents that had nothing to do with my parents. So that is what I encourage. At the end f the day my MIL doesn't care if I'm there, she wants time with her son and granddaughter. So I make my obligitory appearances, am pleasant, help with the dishes and what-have-you, then LEAVE. Be it an afternoon or a week while DH and I are on vacation. Daughter loves her grandmother. Grandmother loves her granddaughter. All is well.

Once again a bitchy woman, this time the DIL, chooses to blame the relationship problem all on the other person. So classic. So typical. You're the one who obviously hates her guts, yet somehow in your mind, she's at fault. There is probably enough fault on both sides. Don't you realize your MIL can easily sense that you hate her guts? Try being a little nicer, not in your typical phony just-tolerating-you-for the sake of the grandkids way, but sincerely.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these MIL posts are so sad. There's so much anger and horrible feelings towards MILs. I don't believe that there are that many nasty older women. Are DILs overreacting? Or buying into this myth of the evil MIL?

If you are a MIL, how do you handle this? Is there anyway to create a healthy loving relationship with your DIL?
My MIL walked on eggshells around me for years so was obviously worried about it. It actually made it hard to bond with her, she was so sweet & uber polite all the time.

I'd like to be close to my DIL someday. Surely it's possible!

All these nasty MILs are simply the feminists from the prior generation who raise their kids to adulthood. When you start out with an angry bitchy woman who is never happy and never satisfied, constantly looking outside herself to blame others for her unhappiness, what would you expect, exactly?

You sound like an angry bitchy woman who is never happy and never satisfied, constantly looking outside herself to blame others for her unhappiness.

You mean like the MIL who said she hates her DILs and is waiting til her dying breath to tell them that? LOL

Anonymous wrote:My DILs think they walk on water, know everything. I have no desire to be in the same room with them much less have any relationship. They are drama queens and quite frankly, sound a lot like the spoiled bitches here.

The day I take my last breath, they will find out how much I hate them.

Well gee then you must have raised some real idiots for sons who didn't know how to pick out a good woman?

Or maybe your sons married women just like dear old mom. Straight up bitches all the way down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these MIL posts are so sad. There's so much anger and horrible feelings towards MILs. I don't believe that there are that many nasty older women. Are DILs overreacting? Or buying into this myth of the evil MIL?

If you are a MIL, how do you handle this? Is there anyway to create a healthy loving relationship with your DIL?
My MIL walked on eggshells around me for years so was obviously worried about it. It actually made it hard to bond with her, she was so sweet & uber polite all the time.

I'd like to be close to my DIL someday. Surely it's possible!

All these nasty MILs are simply the feminists from the prior generation who raise their kids to adulthood. When you start out with an angry bitchy woman who is never happy and never satisfied, constantly looking outside herself to blame others for her unhappiness, what would you expect, exactly?

You sound like an angry bitchy woman who is never happy and never satisfied, constantly looking outside herself to blame others for her unhappiness.

Anonymous wrote:All these MIL posts are so sad. There's so much anger and horrible feelings towards MILs. I don't believe that there are that many nasty older women. Are DILs overreacting? Or buying into this myth of the evil MIL?

If you are a MIL, how do you handle this? Is there anyway to create a healthy loving relationship with your DIL?
My MIL walked on eggshells around me for years so was obviously worried about it. It actually made it hard to bond with her, she was so sweet & uber polite all the time.

I'd like to be close to my DIL someday. Surely it's possible!

All these nasty MILs are simply the feminists from the prior generation who raise their kids to adulthood. When you start out with an angry bitchy woman who is never happy and never satisfied, constantly looking outside herself to blame others for her unhappiness, what would you expect, exactly?

My husband is the issue and not the MIL, likely derives from the fact that his father did nothing around the house nor had any friends. Thus DH is always chatting with her long distance, sending presents for every major or minor Hallmark holiday, still devoting Mothers Day to her and not the mother of his children, bending over backwards to have her/them as 2+ week houseguests, treating them to things, etc. He has some sort of guilt complex about not living 30 minutes away or something.
Basically if anything comes up it's her first, me and kids second, and our money/budget last. What's odd is half the stuff he does is because he assumes that's what she needs/wants, and it comes out later that she doesn't even care. He doesn't want to ask her or them. This pattern started when he made assumptions about our wedding, the kids baptism, the foods we have in the house when they're here all based on guessing what would most please them, but not asking them directly or indirectly. Some sort of guilt complex...they're actually pretty "go with the flow" so I can't figure it out.

Our relationship is fine and fun, but we have the mindset that our goal was to raise happy healthy adults (2 sons, 1 daughter) who would go off and start a life of their own. We were thrilled when they graduated from college, got jobs/careers, found their partners and later started a family.
We're busy and they're busy and we catch up a few times a year at our house or visiting theirs. So far we're not a burden on them, and hope we never are!

Don't like my MIL. Valid reasons that would take too long to type. The relationship is cordial but that is all it will ever be.

But she is a loving and attentive grandmother. When I was growing up I spent extended time with all of my grandparents without my parents around and as a result I had deep relationships with my grandparents that had nothing to do with my parents. So that is what I encourage. At the end f the day my MIL doesn't care if I'm there, she wants time with her son and granddaughter. So I make my obligitory appearances, am pleasant, help with the dishes and what-have-you, then LEAVE. Be it an afternoon or a week while DH and I are on vacation. Daughter loves her grandmother. Grandmother loves her granddaughter. All is well.

I think the set up also makes a difference. My MIL is nice but I simply cannot take too much of her (and neither can DH). We had a good relationship when we stayed close by and we saw her often but for short periods. We had a decent relationship then.

However, we have now moved to DC and they visit once a year for 2 weeks and I have to admit I find that difficult. All the irritating things I could overlook bother me and I respond by withdrawing. It doesnt help that im now a SAHM for the first time and so cant run away to work either.

Our relationship has deteriorated and I feel sad about it because she is really a nice person but two weeks of her is more than I can take.

Anonymous wrote:My DILs think they walk on water, know everything. I have no desire to be in the same room with them much less have any relationship. They are drama queens and quite frankly, sound a lot like the spoiled bitches here.

The day I take my last breath, they will find out how much I hate them.

You sound lovely. I'm sure none of the problems in your relationship are your fault.

My DILs think they walk on water, know everything. I have no desire to be in the same room with them much less have any relationship. They are drama queens and quite frankly, sound a lot like the spoiled bitches here.

The day I take my last breath, they will find out how much I hate them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a MIL x 2! I adore both of my daughters-in-law. I think they are beautiful (both inside and out), smart, caring, and very good to my sons. I think of them as daughters.

The mother who cannot step aside and accept the fact that she is no longer the most important person in her son's life will never be good MIL.

The wife who cannot show love and respect towards the women who gave birth to and raised the man she chose to marry will never be a good DIL.

I have never had a cross word with either of my daughters in law. Similarly, my MIL and I have always had a great relationship. I find the notion that MILs and DILs can't get along ridiculous. But then again, I think marriage should be left to those mature enough to manage adult relationships.

Another MIL here. This!

This is how I aspire to be some day. I hope DC marries someone nice, and I hope to be nice to them. Mutual respect is key - if I respect myself (unlike my MIL - who does not respect herself), surely we are half way there! If they are different than me, so be it, I hope to be positive and accepting, instead of looking for something to complain about at bridge