Anonymous wrote:Would you be upset if your sister in law (husbands sister) was getting married and you were not asked to be in her wedding party? Would it matter if she was in your wedding but it was 10 years ago?

Yes. It would make me upset. It did make me upset. She did eventually include me, but it felt like an after thought. I knew she really didn't want me in it. Our relationship feels the same way now, which makes me sad. I guess that's how it goes.

I had my brother's wife as one of my BMs bc I adore her and she's wonderful. I also had my husband's sister, but she's a nightmare. If she ever gets married, I seriously hope I can dodge the BM bullet bc, like I said, nightmare.

My mom had all of her sisters in her wedding party, but she was never asked to be in theirs. Ouch! I know she's always been bitter about it. FWIW, my mom got married at a younger age than any of them and my sister and I were in our aunt's weddings as flower girls/junior bridesmaids. But my mom has just never let it go that she herself wasn't asked.

Maybe I'm in the minority, but I find this rude. I think family should be asked. Especially the husband, the sister's brother. She asked NO family? I actually think that says a lot about the bride and not a lot about you. She sounds like not a nice person, IMO. And what about her mom or his mom? They aren't saying anything? Who is paying for this wedding? Is her mom paying? And she doesn't think her son should be in the wedding?

My BIL got married and his brother, my DH, was best man. DHs sister was a bridesmaid/matron. Dh's sister's husband was a groomsman. And I was nothing. So of the 6 kids/spouses, 5 were in the wedding party. I was not. It was fine.

I have a friend who has been complaining about her SIL's wedding because her husband, the bride's brother, was not asked to be a part of the wedding ceremony when literally every other sibling and even some cousins had a role re: ushers, groomsmen, reading etc. She felt like her DH was being left out. He is the oldest by several years. I want to empathize but honestly from the outside she just sounds bitter and petty.
On the plus side she has been motivated to be extra good to her DH because she feels like his family is not pulling their weight and doesn't appreciate him enough.

Anonymous wrote:Not only was I not asked to be in my SIL's wedding, but she had been in mine just 6 months before AND when she was getting ready she invited her family and all the female friends into her hotel suite to be with her. As far as I know, I was literally the only woman in our age group not invited (it was a very small destination wedding, but we each had two non-SIL bridesmaids, so it wouldn't have been odd).

My husband to this day says "She was just trying to let you relax! She didn't mean anything." He does not get it.

Sorry to hijack. I am bitter as hell, but try to be cool.

not working

I would've been thrilled. I have so far declined to be a part of the wedding circus three times citing expenses and lack of time.

I was recently a bridesmaid for my SIL (DH's brother's new wife) - I love them both so much, but would honestly have preferred to attend as a guest.

All 3 of us - me, DH, and DD were part of the wedding party, and the amount that we had to shell out for outfits, travel, and everything else (not to mention the multiple related bachelorette trips to Sonoma and some FL nightclubs that I had to decline) was pretty ridiculous. The fuss and prep and multiple photo shoots also meant not getting to enjoy much of the party or gathering time with family and friends we don't see often.

But the thing is - weddings are the bride & grooms day. They get to do it how they want, and those of us close to them just have to honor that particular brand of crazy sometimes and just wish them all the best, regardless of our role in the grand pageant.