Anonymous
Post 03/09/2014 19:48     Subject: can i make our dog secretly disappear?
Anonymous wrote:Re home the dog while it is still young and cute. This does not make you a bad person. Your DH and child are not the ones spending all day with this dog. It is not firs for them to expect you to bear this burden when you aren't even the one who wanted a pet. Let your child know the truth and consider letting the child choose another, lower maintenance pet that she and DH ah are completely responsible for. Maybe something small that lives in a cage like a gerbil?


I did this. I had a dog that just was NOT working for my family. Purebred, beautiful and semi well trained dog. I contacted the Breed rescue. They had a home for my dog in a few days with another of the same breed. The new owners are ecstatic. I do think about the dog from time to time, but I have never regretted.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2014 19:44     Subject: can i make our dog secretly disappear?
Not without traumatizing your kids.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2014 19:43     Subject: can i make our dog secretly disappear?
Anonymous wrote:Re home the dog while it is still young and cute. This does not make you a bad person. Your DH and child are not the ones spending all day with this dog. It is not firs for them to expect you to bear this burden when you aren't even the one who wanted a pet. Let your child know the truth and consider letting the child choose another, lower maintenance pet that she and DH ah are completely responsible for. Maybe something small that lives in a cage like a gerbil?

+100 No one is happy in this situation. There are people looking to give your dog a good home. Throw away your guilt and admit that it is not working for you. I know so many young families who HATE their dog.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2014 17:36     Subject: can i make our dog secretly disappear?
OP, be honest with your DH and DC. You don't like the dog and don't want the dog. Then call a rescue and give them the dog. Do not give the dog to a shelter, or it will likely be destroyed. There are lots of people who would love your dog. It's not fair to the dog to live in a home where he is not loved. If you are his primary caretaker, he can sense that. Trouble ahead if you can't find a way to get along with the dog. So give him away now to someone who will really want him. Your DH and child will not like it, but they are not taking care of the dog, and you are.

It took at least two years for my dog to be trained. He's wonderful now, but it was a lot of work, and I am a dog person who loves dogs. But there were times I wanted to get rid of him because it was so difficult. I would never have kept the dog if I were not a dog lover. No way.

Anonymous
Post 03/09/2014 16:00     Subject: can i make our dog secretly disappear?
Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP. The OP should rehome this dog and stay away from them in future. A dog is a major committment.
And please don't do 'free to good home' on Craigslist. Contact a rescue. The earlier the better.


Agreed- if you rescue now with a breed specific group, the dog has a better chance for success. I hope you won't get another dog of any kind- there's no shame, its not for everyone.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2014 15:17     Subject: can i make our dog secretly disappear?
I agree with PP. The OP should rehome this dog and stay away from them in future. A dog is a major committment.
And please don't do 'free to good home' on Craigslist. Contact a rescue. The earlier the better.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2014 13:51     Subject: Re:can i make our dog secretly disappear?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I think that the new trend is for people to say "hire a trainer" whenever someone has a dog who is incompatible with his/her family. Yes, training is good. And a good trainer can really help with undesirable behaviors. But dogs have personalities, too. They aren't automatons that some trainer will magically program to be the perfect pet for you.


Yes, but the issues OP is describing sound like normal puppy issues. Some of the issues would exist in any dog under 2, regardless of breed, and others, like establishing boundaries so the dog isn't underfoot while doing chores one might have to do with an older dog. It seems like OP is overwhelmed with normal dog/puppy behavior, and in her case, hiring a trainer might help her find strategies to cope with the behaviors she is finding annoying in her dog. Once you make progress in that area, it makes dog ownership much more enjoyable.

It's a lab. A large lab will stay very active for a good few years. The behavior the OP does not like will only be temporary if you consider 5 years temporary.

If it were a different kind of puppy, perhaps. But while I agree the behavior is normal, i don't think it is temporary enough for OP. That is why I suggested OP get an older dog for her family. Most dogs I have known, especially playful breeds, stay pretty energetic until around 4 years old, maybe 5.


Labs are puppish for a long time, but they do slow down faster than 5. 2 is way better than puppy, and 4 is way better than 2--t's gradual. It's not like all of a sudden you wake up with a 5 year old couch potato with no changes in between crazy puppy and couch potato. A young, energetic lab that is well trained and has boundaries they respect is not necessarily a hellion. Active doesn't mean getting into her space/digging/chewing necessarily. The goofy playing, sure--my parents' lab mix is eight and sometimes he can still be a goof--but he doesn't dig/steal food/chew.


Whatever. I still think OP needs an older dog, not a trainer.

I hate people who insist and insist and insist a trainer will make it okay. Not all breeds work for all people. And certainly puppies and young dogs aren't for everyone, especially people who aren't dog people. Large playful dogs, even well-trained ones with "boundaries they respect," also aren't for everyone.


I would highly suggest that OP not get an older dog or any other dogs at all, because they are obviously disposable enough to her to give up on a 6 month old puppy and is actually considering lying to her family about giving it away. Dogs are not disposable. When you get a dog, you DID make a commitment to that dog. Don't want to put the work in, don't get a dog. It's that simple.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2014 13:30     Subject: can i make our dog secretly disappear?
Freecycle
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2014 13:06     Subject: can i make our dog secretly disappear?
Re home the dog while it is still young and cute. This does not make you a bad person. Your DH and child are not the ones spending all day with this dog. It is not firs for them to expect you to bear this burden when you aren't even the one who wanted a pet. Let your child know the truth and consider letting the child choose another, lower maintenance pet that she and DH ah are completely responsible for. Maybe something small that lives in a cage like a gerbil?
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2014 12:49     Subject: can i make our dog secretly disappear?
Be honest with your family. This isn't working. You don't like the dog and really I don't see that you have any interest or inclination in caring for the dog properly. (Training, etc.) A trainer can train, but the owner has to be willing as well. It doesn't sound like you are.

If you bring in a trainer then your family has to realize THEY need to do the majority of the work. Feeding, walking morning and evening, playing. The dog can be trained to stay in certain areas of the house, away from you if need be.

The only real option I see though is rehoming the dog. You are home most of the time with it, and don't even like it. Give your kid(s) and husband time to come to terms with this, and then find a pet you can all agree on.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2014 12:27     Subject: Re:can i make our dog secretly disappear?
A six month old lab is 3/4th of the way grown, if not more. It's already out of the cute itty bitty puppy phase.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2014 12:07     Subject: can i make our dog secretly disappear?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:we got our 1 yr old lab mix puppy about 6 months ago, and she is a neurotic mess. she chews/eats EVERYTHING, is digging up the yard and is constantly underfoot. she is home with me all day (yes, we go for walks, to the dog park, and i allow her to sit way too close for my comfort while at home), and i kinda hate her. dh and 7 year old dc, of course, LOVE her. would it be so terrible if i pretended she ran away and secretly gave her up for adoption?? the thought of dealing with this dog for another 10 years fills me with dread. sort of perpetrating this fraud on my family, what can i do? i am just not a pet person and am not enjoying having a dog.


Put the puppy up for adoption ASAP. It will not get better. A 7 year old can be told a white lie, allergies the usual. Please put the dog up for adoption while still a cute puppy.


This. The best chance for the dog to be adopted out again is as a puppy.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2014 12:06     Subject: can i make our dog secretly disappear?
Does your family like pâté? I could post a couple recipes. I bet your dog is delicious!
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2014 11:59     Subject: Re:can i make our dog secretly disappear?
Whatever. I still think OP needs an older dog, not a trainer.

I hate people who insist and insist and insist a trainer will make it okay. Not all breeds work for all people. And certainly puppies and young dogs aren't for everyone, especially people who aren't dog people. Large playful dogs, even well-trained ones with "boundaries they respect," also aren't for everyone.


While I do encourage first time dog owners to strongly consider older dogs and think about breeds that would be good fits for their families, this person ALREADY has a dog. A trainer will not make everything "ok"--it's only a tool. If they don't work with the dog at home, it doesn't matter how good the trainer is. But if she's open to it, it can help immensely. I would say that it's a pretty shitty thing to do to your family to get rid of a dog they already love and are bonded to because you don't want to work through normal dog behavior problems--if she said the dog bit her kid, someone developed allergies, the dog has food aggression, they were working too much to meet the exercise needs of the dog, or any number of more difficult issues, I would say "yeah, get another dog."

Older dogs can be great, but they aren't perfect either. If you get a 5 year old dog depending on the breed, you maybe have a few years at most before they can start developing arthritis, hip dysplasia, and other health issues and the vet bills go up.
Anonymous
Post 03/08/2014 23:46     Subject: Re:can i make our dog secretly disappear?
Anonymous wrote:
I think that the new trend is for people to say "hire a trainer" whenever someone has a dog who is incompatible with his/her family. Yes, training is good. And a good trainer can really help with undesirable behaviors. But dogs have personalities, too. They aren't automatons that some trainer will magically program to be the perfect pet for you.


Yes, but the issues OP is describing sound like normal puppy issues. Some of the issues would exist in any dog under 2, regardless of breed, and others, like establishing boundaries so the dog isn't underfoot while doing chores one might have to do with an older dog. It seems like OP is overwhelmed with normal dog/puppy behavior, and in her case, hiring a trainer might help her find strategies to cope with the behaviors she is finding annoying in her dog. Once you make progress in that area, it makes dog ownership much more enjoyable.

It's a lab. A large lab will stay very active for a good few years. The behavior the OP does not like will only be temporary if you consider 5 years temporary.

If it were a different kind of puppy, perhaps. But while I agree the behavior is normal, i don't think it is temporary enough for OP. That is why I suggested OP get an older dog for her family. Most dogs I have known, especially playful breeds, stay pretty energetic until around 4 years old, maybe 5.


Labs are puppish for a long time, but they do slow down faster than 5. 2 is way better than puppy, and 4 is way better than 2--t's gradual. It's not like all of a sudden you wake up with a 5 year old couch potato with no changes in between crazy puppy and couch potato. A young, energetic lab that is well trained and has boundaries they respect is not necessarily a hellion. Active doesn't mean getting into her space/digging/chewing necessarily. The goofy playing, sure--my parents' lab mix is eight and sometimes he can still be a goof--but he doesn't dig/steal food/chew.


Whatever. I still think OP needs an older dog, not a trainer.

I hate people who insist and insist and insist a trainer will make it okay. Not all breeds work for all people. And certainly puppies and young dogs aren't for everyone, especially people who aren't dog people. Large playful dogs, even well-trained ones with "boundaries they respect," also aren't for everyone.