I feel bad for anyone who had to hear these insults. But when I read them all together like this, they become hilarious. I want to remember some of these for work.

Oh, and someone said to me: "Can you explain why you seem to be doing everything possible to make your hair look unflattering?"

Most insulting? Can't remember.

Most hurtful? Last year. DH had been unemployed for more than a year and we were depressed and getting desperate. My mother became progressively more emotionally abusive during that time, and just as I had finished a little speech about how we felt vulnerable and would appreciate moral support, she shook her head, and concluded:

"You ruined your life."

I could live with years of being called fat and stupid, but DH ruining my life? No, I think not. DH persuaded me not to break off all contact, but I will not be seeing this woman any time soon.

On a college admissions tour at Dartmouth many many years ago, one of the young men asked whether the girls were "hot". The tour guide pointed at me and said "She'd fit in. Do you still want to come?"

I am white and my son is biracial, and like many babies of color looked very white at birth, and then gradually got more color in his skin and curl in his hair. We were checking out at the grocery store one day, and the cashier, who I had seen several times before, asked me "Have you considered the possibility that his father is black?" When I replied "Actually, I know that his father is black" she must have realized that she just implied that I might not remember the race of all the men I had slept with because she started to stutter and apologize. I really think she meant "I wonder if his father is black", which still wouldn't be the greatest question, but sure beats what she asked.

Anonymous wrote:A secretary in my office once said "I can't believe such an attractive guy is dating you" when she met my boyfriend who is now my husband

My husband's colleague said something similar to him after he met me. Something like, "man, she is so out of your league. how did you manage that one?" For some reason, men take those sorts of comments as complements but women find them insulting.

Anonymous wrote:My friend telling me about another woman she met on a vacation, who reminded her of me (because that woman and I are of the same race).

"She reminded so much of you, except she was very beautiful."

Wow - that is insulting alright.

A secretary in my office once said "I can't believe such an attractive guy is dating you" when she met my boyfriend who is now my husband

My friend telling me about another woman she met on a vacation, who reminded her of me (because that woman and I are of the same race).

"She reminded so much of you, except she was very beautiful."

Did you get pregnant intentionally?

You should get breast implants.

You oscillate between a 10 and a 6.

We need you to be on this engagement because the client asked us why there were no women on the team.

Pretty much anything from my emotionally abusive older brother.

Anonymous wrote:Friend emailed me and asked what was up. I replied my father just passed away. I ran into her 3 weeks later and she said, "I got your email about your dad dying. I was too busy to reply."

It is DC. Great (normal) women friends are very hard to come by.

My mother called me a shameful slut and a complete disgrace after I became pregnant out-of-wedlock. I had been engaged for several months already, and the baby, her grandchild, was very much planned and wanted.

"If you were tall, you could be a model."

Anonymous wrote:In high school, a girl in gym class asked me if I was anorexic. She has no idea how humiliated I was , and how I still wish that I snapped at her instead of shily just saying no. I was so embarrassed of being skinny and went on fast food binges to put some fat on my bones.

I was an ectomorph, too. My brothers used to tell people that I was a Cambodian refugee, or an Ethiopian refugee, related to Minut Bol. And my soccer coach used to patronizingly offer to take me to McDonald's to feed me cheeseburgers after practice. He would say the words to the parents around picking up their kids, while gesturing at me. They all got a big kick out of it. You would not have been able to say anything to that person because saying the reverse, that someone is overweight, is socially unacceptable. Mocking girls and women for being too skinny somehow is not.

Said to my then-boyfriend by another girl we both knew from school while I was standing right there, "You're dating her? Really? Why?"

In high school, a girl in gym class asked me if I was anorexic. She has no idea how humiliated I was , and how I still wish that I snapped at her instead of shily just saying no. I was so embarrassed of being skinny and went on fast food binges to put some fat on my bones.