OP, no offense, but I can't decide if you are a troll
If you're for real, then I have to tell you, you went 9 years and you never had to do a single repair? If you were raising the rent every year then you have made off like a bandit, sir.
9 years is way overdue for carpet replacement for a rental.The countertop sounds like borderline damage for 9 years (if it was 1 year I'd say damage for sure) but if it was me I wouldn't charge them.
"Trash your house"? "Section 8"? Is your property in Bethesda or something? From those of us in the trenches in DC rental property, here's some context for you, for those phrases. How about a tenant ripping the kitchen sink off the wall and stealing it, along with the fridge, after several months of non-payment and eviction proceedings.
You've had it good - be thankful! And if you are struggling to take the emotion out of landlording, hire a property manager. Not everyone has the personality for this. You need to forget the notion that this is your "home". Maybe it used to be. It's now a cash-producing asset, like bonds and dividend-paying stocks.