DCUM Forum

Anonymous

01/11/2014 10:54 Subject: Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about oxytocin release?

We now know that in females sexual activity releases oxytocin and creates pair bond feelings.

to those who say 100 partners is ok - what about the tendency for women to bond to their partners?

Bond / break / bond / break

Is that healthy?

This is made up bullshit from the Christian right.

Um. Try doing a little research on oxytocin and see what you come back with. Pubmed is a good place to start.

And just about every woman I've ever met has said that sex makes them feel closer to the partner.

You're cute. You're still an ignorant fool, though.

The anecdotal evidence you cite on the second line is the exact opposite of peer-reviewed evidence published in Pubmed. The singular of "data" is not "anecdote."

It's bullshit because it takes a small piece of information about oxytocin and strings it out into a made-up story about what happens to women's emotions during sex.

Sex does create good feelings towards the person that you have sex with. It however doesn't create some kind of "pair bond" that causes psychological damage if you break it. Women aren't baby ducks that imprint on the first cock that they put in their vaginas. There's no evidence for that.

Women also have good feelings towards people who buy them an ice cream. It also doesn't create a "pair bond."

Men also have good feelings towards people that they have pleasurable sex with. The Christian Right doesn't emphasize this theory for men, though, because they are less concerned about controlling men's sexuality and very concerned with controlling women's sexuality.

There is an equal amount of evidence that humans are designed to be moderately polyamorous. A good summary of that evidence is set out in a book called "Sex at Dawn."

Both of these, however, are evolutionary psych approaches, so I tend to call "bullshit" on both of them. Humans have so much cognitive structure laid over the top of any instincts we once had, that it is unclear that humans have any sort of instincts at all. We just have too much cognitive ability to be particularly functional.

Sex at Dawn is a good read. Don't know if I buy it altogether but it certainly makes the case for polyamory well.

Oxytocin's effects are not disputed. What is disputed by some is how it impacts men and women differently.

testosterone found in much higher levels in men is known to diminish its effects

estrogen found in much higher levels in women is known to enhance its effects

And again, every woman I've ever met says that they feel a closer bond to a man after the have sex with them.

Anonymous

01/11/2014 10:53 Subject: Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

Anonymous wrote:2-8 sounds good to me too.

17 to start? really? in high school?

This one I disagree with because sex in high school relationships wastes time, poses a higher risk of pregnancy/STDs/emotional trauma and the boys are immature. I want my children to wait for college, an age at which they will be prepared and responsible enough to obtain and use birth control responsibly to protect their health/futures.

Anonymous

01/11/2014 10:52 Subject: Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you all are avoiding the question

this is not a thread to discuss your perceptions of gender and slut vs stud

concrete number please

Phrased differently - if your daughter told you her number - what number would shock / disappoint you?

Don't avoid the question please -

GIVE #

Numbers aren't what would shock me. It's the reasoning behind the numbers that would shock me. If she had no partners before marriage because she thought it would make her a slut, that would shock me. If she had 7 partners because she need male sexual attention to feel good about herself, that would shock me. And if she had 50 partners as a conscious part of her own sexual exploration, I'd be fine.

So, there you go. And ease back on the thread rules, OP. This is a discussion board, not your treehouse. You don't get to dictate the rules of the conversation.

so 500 would be ok if she felt like she consciously wanted to explore 500 penises?

Yes.

I guess you would be proud.

You would be ok then too with her consciously choosing to be a porn star or a prostitute if she "consciously wanted to explore" it?

Both of those are honest work. Hard work, but honest work. I would be concerned about her being abused by people like you, though.

HAHAH abused by people like me??

Why do people get so crazy talking about sex?

Not crazy.

However, your use of the word "crazy" to describe me is exactly the type of bullying, nasty, abusive behavior that I was referring to.

Your snide use of the word "proud" is more of the same.

Anonymous

01/11/2014 10:51 Subject: Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

Anonymous wrote:A range of 2 to 8.

I agree with this one. That's a short list and should be a high bar. Casual dates don't merit.

Anonymous

01/11/2014 10:50 Subject: Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you all are avoiding the question

this is not a thread to discuss your perceptions of gender and slut vs stud

concrete number please

Phrased differently - if your daughter told you her number - what number would shock / disappoint you?

Don't avoid the question please -

GIVE #

Numbers aren't what would shock me. It's the reasoning behind the numbers that would shock me. If she had no partners before marriage because she thought it would make her a slut, that would shock me. If she had 7 partners because she need male sexual attention to feel good about herself, that would shock me. And if she had 50 partners as a conscious part of her own sexual exploration, I'd be fine.

So, there you go. And ease back on the thread rules, OP. This is a discussion board, not your treehouse. You don't get to dictate the rules of the conversation.

so 500 would be ok if she felt like she consciously wanted to explore 500 penises?

Yes.

I guess you would be proud.

You would be ok then too with her consciously choosing to be a porn star or a prostitute if she "consciously wanted to explore" it?

Why would pride enter into my feelings about the number of partners she has? 0, 5, 500, whatever - pride implies that I have some personal stake in that number, and in the details of my dd's sex life. Like I would be proud of the number of positions she tries or the number of orgasms she has. That's just weird and creepy.

You seem to expect me to put a lot of stock in a single data point - the number of partners. I just don't. That number just doesn't matter to me as much as the reasoning. If my dd is mature and self aware to make strong and conscious choices about her sexuality, then THAT is what will make me proud.

As for being a porn star or prostitute, I would be much more likely to be concerned for her physical safety - both industries are notorious for not always practicing safe sex, and prostitution can (but not always) set up an unhealthy power dynamic if a pimp is involved. I'd want to know she is safe. But no, I wouldn't be worked up just because her chosen industry is sex-based.

Anonymous

01/11/2014 10:42 Subject: Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you all are avoiding the question

this is not a thread to discuss your perceptions of gender and slut vs stud

concrete number please

Phrased differently - if your daughter told you her number - what number would shock / disappoint you?

Don't avoid the question please -

GIVE #

Numbers aren't what would shock me. It's the reasoning behind the numbers that would shock me. If she had no partners before marriage because she thought it would make her a slut, that would shock me. If she had 7 partners because she need male sexual attention to feel good about herself, that would shock me. And if she had 50 partners as a conscious part of her own sexual exploration, I'd be fine.

So, there you go. And ease back on the thread rules, OP. This is a discussion board, not your treehouse. You don't get to dictate the rules of the conversation.

so 500 would be ok if she felt like she consciously wanted to explore 500 penises?

Yes.

I guess you would be proud.

You would be ok then too with her consciously choosing to be a porn star or a prostitute if she "consciously wanted to explore" it?

Both of those are honest work. Hard work, but honest work. I would be concerned about her being abused by people like you, though.

HAHAH abused by people like me??

Why do people get so crazy talking about sex?

Anonymous

01/11/2014 10:39 Subject: Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you all are avoiding the question

this is not a thread to discuss your perceptions of gender and slut vs stud

concrete number please

Phrased differently - if your daughter told you her number - what number would shock / disappoint you?

Don't avoid the question please -

GIVE #

Numbers aren't what would shock me. It's the reasoning behind the numbers that would shock me. If she had no partners before marriage because she thought it would make her a slut, that would shock me. If she had 7 partners because she need male sexual attention to feel good about herself, that would shock me. And if she had 50 partners as a conscious part of her own sexual exploration, I'd be fine.

So, there you go. And ease back on the thread rules, OP. This is a discussion board, not your treehouse. You don't get to dictate the rules of the conversation.

so 500 would be ok if she felt like she consciously wanted to explore 500 penises?

Yes.

I guess you would be proud.

You would be ok then too with her consciously choosing to be a porn star or a prostitute if she "consciously wanted to explore" it?

Both of those are honest work. Hard work, but honest work. I would be concerned about her being abused by people like you, though.

Anonymous

01/11/2014 10:37 Subject: Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about oxytocin release?

We now know that in females sexual activity releases oxytocin and creates pair bond feelings.

to those who say 100 partners is ok - what about the tendency for women to bond to their partners?

Bond / break / bond / break

Is that healthy?

This is made up bullshit from the Christian right.

Um. Try doing a little research on oxytocin and see what you come back with. Pubmed is a good place to start.

And just about every woman I've ever met has said that sex makes them feel closer to the partner.

You're cute. You're still an ignorant fool, though.

The anecdotal evidence you cite on the second line is the exact opposite of peer-reviewed evidence published in Pubmed. The singular of "data" is not "anecdote."

It's bullshit because it takes a small piece of information about oxytocin and strings it out into a made-up story about what happens to women's emotions during sex.

Sex does create good feelings towards the person that you have sex with. It however doesn't create some kind of "pair bond" that causes psychological damage if you break it. Women aren't baby ducks that imprint on the first cock that they put in their vaginas. There's no evidence for that.

Women also have good feelings towards people who buy them an ice cream. It also doesn't create a "pair bond."

Men also have good feelings towards people that they have pleasurable sex with. The Christian Right doesn't emphasize this theory for men, though, because they are less concerned about controlling men's sexuality and very concerned with controlling women's sexuality.

There is an equal amount of evidence that humans are designed to be moderately polyamorous. A good summary of that evidence is set out in a book called "Sex at Dawn."

Both of these, however, are evolutionary psych approaches, so I tend to call "bullshit" on both of them. Humans have so much cognitive structure laid over the top of any instincts we once had, that it is unclear that humans have any sort of instincts at all. We just have too much cognitive ability to be particularly functional.

Anonymous

01/11/2014 10:36 Subject: Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

This thread is extremely weird. Parents should not try to control their adult children's sex lives like this. The kids can live their own life.

As several other sane comments have said, child should have as many (or as few) as she or he wants.

Anonymous

01/11/2014 10:33 Subject: Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

""The fact that long term treatment with oxytocin had the opposite impact of initial doses with the same substance suggests that special strategies will be needed if oxytocin is ever to become a long-term treatment for autism or schizophrenia," said Dr. John Krystal, Editor of Biological Psychiatry."

This might suggest that increased doses of endogenous oxytocin may lead to counter intuitive outcomes as well.

Anonymous

01/11/2014 10:30 Subject: Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you all are avoiding the question

this is not a thread to discuss your perceptions of gender and slut vs stud

concrete number please

Phrased differently - if your daughter told you her number - what number would shock / disappoint you?

Don't avoid the question please -

GIVE #

Numbers aren't what would shock me. It's the reasoning behind the numbers that would shock me. If she had no partners before marriage because she thought it would make her a slut, that would shock me. If she had 7 partners because she need male sexual attention to feel good about herself, that would shock me. And if she had 50 partners as a conscious part of her own sexual exploration, I'd be fine.

So, there you go. And ease back on the thread rules, OP. This is a discussion board, not your treehouse. You don't get to dictate the rules of the conversation.

so 500 would be ok if she felt like she consciously wanted to explore 500 penises?

Yes.

I guess you would be proud.

You would be ok then too with her consciously choosing to be a porn star or a prostitute if she "consciously wanted to explore" it?

Anonymous

01/11/2014 10:29 Subject: Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you all are avoiding the question

this is not a thread to discuss your perceptions of gender and slut vs stud

concrete number please

Phrased differently - if your daughter told you her number - what number would shock / disappoint you?

Don't avoid the question please -

GIVE #

Numbers aren't what would shock me. It's the reasoning behind the numbers that would shock me. If she had no partners before marriage because she thought it would make her a slut, that would shock me. If she had 7 partners because she need male sexual attention to feel good about herself, that would shock me. And if she had 50 partners as a conscious part of her own sexual exploration, I'd be fine.

So, there you go. And ease back on the thread rules, OP. This is a discussion board, not your treehouse. You don't get to dictate the rules of the conversation.

so 500 would be ok if she felt like she consciously wanted to explore 500 penises?

Yes.

Anonymous

01/11/2014 10:28 Subject: Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about oxytocin release?

We now know that in females sexual activity releases oxytocin and creates pair bond feelings.

to those who say 100 partners is ok - what about the tendency for women to bond to their partners?

Bond / break / bond / break

Is that healthy?

This is made up bullshit from the Christian right.

Um. Try doing a little research on oxytocin and see what you come back with. Pubmed is a good place to start.

And just about every woman I've ever met has said that sex makes them feel closer to the partner.

Anonymous

01/11/2014 10:28 Subject: Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

Anonymous wrote:What about oxytocin release?

We now know that in females sexual activity releases oxytocin and creates pair bond feelings.

to those who say 100 partners is ok - what about the tendency for women to bond to their partners?

Bond / break / bond / break

Is that healthy?

This is made up bullshit from the Christian right.

Anonymous

01/11/2014 10:25 Subject: Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

What about oxytocin release?

We now know that in females sexual activity releases oxytocin and creates pair bond feelings.

to those who say 100 partners is ok - what about the tendency for women to bond to their partners?

Bond / break / bond / break

Is that healthy?