Anonymous
01/13/2014 19:46
Subject: MIL and breastfeeding
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm less convinced it's generational. I'm in my late 40's and was born in the mid 1960's. I was fed formula. My youngest sister, however, was born in the late 1970's and my mom nursed her for several years. She was very supportive of my nursing as well as my SIL's nursing.
It's probably safe to say that if you are having a baby now, you were born in the 1970's when there was a lot more support for breastfeeding. It wasn't seen as unusual. Yes, babies still had formula, but there was definitely a swing away from a "overly medicalized" birth where the mother was put under (like my mom was) towards the other end where there were planned home births.
If you're hearing comments like that, my guess is that it's also because MIL is insecure in her role. She probably didn't nurse and wants to step in and control. I imagine that in the next 5 years, there will be fewer posts like this where breastfeeding is an issue between a MIL and DIL.
Of course, there will still be issues between MILs and DILs!
No, it wasn't the 70s. I was born in the 70s and my friends as well. All FF. It must have been the 80s that the pendulum started to swing towards BF. (I think BF is better for a baby, fwiw.)
Can you read? I never said that everyone was bf'ing in the 70s. I said that there was "more support" and that "yes, babies still had formula." And I sincerely hope that you have more sense than to assume that if you and your friends were FF, then that is representative of a trend across an entire decade.
From an article about the resurgence of Breastfeeding at the end of the second millennium:
Recent breastfeeding rates
More than two thirds of mothers breastfed in the early 1900s (Hirschman and Butler 1981). However, both the incidence and duration of breastfeeding declined in successive cohorts, beginning in the first decades of the 1900s (Hirschman and Butler 1981). Initiation rates in the 1911–1915 cohort were nearly 70% of women, and nearly 50% in the 1926–1930 cohort; however, in the 1946–1950 cohort, only 25% initiation rates were noted (Hirschman and Butler 1981). Initiation of breastfeeding reached its nadir in 1972, when only 22% of women breastfed (Eckhardt and Hendershot 1984).
By 1975, however, breastfeeding initiation began to increase, from 33.4% in that year to 54% in 1980, and subsequently to 59.7% in 1984 (Martinez and Krieger 1985). There was a dip in breastfeeding initiation rates in the late 1980s, followed by a return in the mid-1990s to the high levels observed in the early 1980s (Ryan 1997). Thus, after a dramatic increase in the 1970s, breastfeeding rates remained relatively static from the early 1980s to 1995. As of 1995, 60% of new mothers initiated breastfeeding, with 20% still breast-feeding at 6 mo (Ryan 1997). Unpublished data indicated that in 1997, 62.4% of mothers initiated breastfeeding, and 26% continued to 6 mo; newly reported was a 14.5% breastfeeding rate at 12 mo (personal communication, Ross Mothers’ Survey).
You did say that it wasn't unusual, which is what PP was probably responding to. But with the rates you are reporting for 1975 it looks like it was somewhat unusual in the early 70s, especially since we can probably assume that that 33.4% was not evenly spread thought the country, leaving some places with relatively few BFers.
Anonymous
01/13/2014 19:26
Subject: MIL and breastfeeding
Anonymous wrote:I've come to realize that my MIL, for some reason, hates that I'm breastfeeding my 3 month old DS. When she visits she fixates on it and asks dozens of detailed and leading questions that make it clear that she thinks it's not a good idea without coming out and directly saying so. From her questions and comments, it's clear that she thinks breastfed babies don't sleep as well as FF babies, has repeatedly asked if DS's reflux would be fixed by giving him formula or at least a bottle of pumped milk, and once made a comment to the baby as she was giving a bottle to him while I was in the next room, that "mommy is starving you, isn't she?" To be clear, I don't care what she thinks and I'm happy to ignore the passive aggressive comments and leading questions. I've given both this DS and my older DS formula, fwiw, and I don't care about the FF vs. BF debate, it just happened that BF worked out really easily this time around. I don't recall her doing this as much when my older child was an infant, but she wasn't around as much when older DS was a baby and I EP'd with him so maybe that made a difference in her eyes? Curious to know if anyone else has experienced this? Is this perhaps a generational thing?
Haven't read the rest of the posts. Haven't even finished reading yours, but OMG I would want to slap her silly if I heard that. I wouldn't, but my husband would get an earful after she left.
Anonymous
01/13/2014 10:05
Subject: MIL and breastfeeding
Anonymous wrote: I was born in the early 70's and my parents (who were NOT hippies) were considered a bit odd in the fact that we were breastfed and my dad attended our births (gowned and back in a corner of course).
My mil ff and acted kind of similar to OP's mil. I just never engaged with her, just looked kind of baffled when she said dumb stuff and continued doing what I felt best. She wasn't going to change (and didnt). In my experience, you cant 'explain' to people like her-just do what you need to do and roll your eyes (where she can't see, lol). The bf discussions wil be over sooner than it seems and then she'll want to tell you how to disipline, how to educate them and then how they should look as teens! With young adults kids, I've heard it all hahaha
I just wanted to laugh because when I look at pics from immediately after my birth (1980, I am 33) my father, who was in the room, looks like he's about to scrub into surgery and/or do work on the ISS......yet the nurses, my mother, the docs......no one else is dressed like that!
Anonymous
01/12/2014 18:33
Subject: MIL and breastfeeding
I was born in the early 70's and my parents (who were NOT hippies) were considered a bit odd in the fact that we were breastfed and my dad attended our births (gowned and back in a corner of course).
My mil ff and acted kind of similar to OP's mil. I just never engaged with her, just looked kind of baffled when she said dumb stuff and continued doing what I felt best. She wasn't going to change (and didnt). In my experience, you cant 'explain' to people like her-just do what you need to do and roll your eyes (where she can't see, lol). The bf discussions wil be over sooner than it seems and then she'll want to tell you how to disipline, how to educate them and then how they should look as teens! With young adults kids, I've heard it all hahaha
My mil ff and acted kind of similar to OP's mil. I just never engaged with her, just looked kind of baffled when she said dumb stuff and continued doing what I felt best. She wasn't going to change (and didnt). In my experience, you cant 'explain' to people like her-just do what you need to do and roll your eyes (where she can't see, lol). The bf discussions wil be over sooner than it seems and then she'll want to tell you how to disipline, how to educate them and then how they should look as teens! With young adults kids, I've heard it all hahaha
Anonymous
01/11/2014 22:45
Subject: MIL and breastfeeding
My mother was weird about breastfeeding. I never did it in front of her so she never saw the child eat. I know she thought we were crazy to put off solids for 6 months. She asked me some questions. Luckily my kid was in 98 percentile for weight so if she asked something I would just hold up my chubby little baby and say, "does this baby look underfed to you!?" I actually used the line about college/away school when she asked about weaning and she laughed. I think it was all just so foreign to her.
If I had ever overheard her say some starving comment , though, I might have flipped my lid. I admire your restraint, OP.
If I had ever overheard her say some starving comment , though, I might have flipped my lid. I admire your restraint, OP.
Anonymous
01/11/2014 17:44
Subject: MIL and breastfeeding
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm less convinced it's generational. I'm in my late 40's and was born in the mid 1960's. I was fed formula. My youngest sister, however, was born in the late 1970's and my mom nursed her for several years. She was very supportive of my nursing as well as my SIL's nursing.
It's probably safe to say that if you are having a baby now, you were born in the 1970's when there was a lot more support for breastfeeding. It wasn't seen as unusual. Yes, babies still had formula, but there was definitely a swing away from a "overly medicalized" birth where the mother was put under (like my mom was) towards the other end where there were planned home births.
If you're hearing comments like that, my guess is that it's also because MIL is insecure in her role. She probably didn't nurse and wants to step in and control. I imagine that in the next 5 years, there will be fewer posts like this where breastfeeding is an issue between a MIL and DIL.
Of course, there will still be issues between MILs and DILs!
No, it wasn't the 70s. I was born in the 70s and my friends as well. All FF. It must have been the 80s that the pendulum started to swing towards BF. (I think BF is better for a baby, fwiw.)
Can you read? I never said that everyone was bf'ing in the 70s. I said that there was "more support" and that "yes, babies still had formula." And I sincerely hope that you have more sense than to assume that if you and your friends were FF, then that is representative of a trend across an entire decade.
From an article about the resurgence of Breastfeeding at the end of the second millennium:
Recent breastfeeding rates
More than two thirds of mothers breastfed in the early 1900s (Hirschman and Butler 1981). However, both the incidence and duration of breastfeeding declined in successive cohorts, beginning in the first decades of the 1900s (Hirschman and Butler 1981). Initiation rates in the 1911–1915 cohort were nearly 70% of women, and nearly 50% in the 1926–1930 cohort; however, in the 1946–1950 cohort, only 25% initiation rates were noted (Hirschman and Butler 1981). Initiation of breastfeeding reached its nadir in 1972, when only 22% of women breastfed (Eckhardt and Hendershot 1984).
By 1975, however, breastfeeding initiation began to increase, from 33.4% in that year to 54% in 1980, and subsequently to 59.7% in 1984 (Martinez and Krieger 1985). There was a dip in breastfeeding initiation rates in the late 1980s, followed by a return in the mid-1990s to the high levels observed in the early 1980s (Ryan 1997). Thus, after a dramatic increase in the 1970s, breastfeeding rates remained relatively static from the early 1980s to 1995. As of 1995, 60% of new mothers initiated breastfeeding, with 20% still breast-feeding at 6 mo (Ryan 1997). Unpublished data indicated that in 1997, 62.4% of mothers initiated breastfeeding, and 26% continued to 6 mo; newly reported was a 14.5% breastfeeding rate at 12 mo (personal communication, Ross Mothers’ Survey).