Anonymous wrote:Long-time Mensa member here. I qualified back when I was about 8 (with the WISC-R test needed to get into the gifted program in MoCo schools), and I'm in my 30's now.

It's important to separate Mensa members from active members. Most of the active/vocal members are indeed a bit awkward socially, and not necessarily in an endearing way. I've been to a number of events, and I'm usually the most "normal" there in terms of my ability to integrate with society. I had a decent job, could converse with others, etc. I know it sounds odd, but really a lot of them just aren't that good at those things (perhaps due to intelligence). One event host used to say she loved it when I showed up because suddenly the group had someone to lead in conversation. I attend at most an event per year, and to put that in perspective, there are usually about 5 events per week.

Now on to your daughter. There is a Mensa kids group, but I forget the name. Your local chapter around here is MWM ( http://www.mwm.org/ ). The head of it (in Mensa terms) is the LocSec (Local Secretary). Mensa is pretty desperate to get younger members involved, and in recent years has been more focused on it. I'd say it's worth giving it a try. At worst, it's the $40 membership fee and a bit of wasted time. Contact the LocSec if you like, as they'll probably just let you go for free to an event or two to see what it's like.

Ok I just checked the latest local newsletter, and I guess things have come a long way in recent years. There is not only a Gifted Youth Coordinator, but also an assistant GYC. She also has a column in this month's newsletter. Since the newsletter is member's only, I won't post her full details, but her name is Ms. Campbell.

Here are some events she has posted for youth coming up:
- Board games night
- Chinese New Year Family day at a museum
- Kite Festival
- CultureQuest (like a quiz bowl competition)
- Science & Engineering Festival (and they are working on getting into the invitation-only preview event the day before the official opening)

These are all events in the next few months, where the local Mensa group will be organizing a group of youth members to attend.

If I was a kid again, those seem to be pretty fun.

Also I agree with others to consider Johns Hopkins CTY. I had a couple classmates who did that and really enjoyed it.

Anonymous wrote:12:57 back. Adult Mensa member (means "table" in greek in latin so shouldn't be in all caps - my bad) who wasn't impressed with Mensa.

A PP noted after your described your experience with teachers that your child was "frustrated". YES YES YES! I was hell on wheels (or so I'm told) as a very young child. My mother said to the pediatrician or our church pastor, "Either there's something wrong with me or there's something wrong with her" and that's when someone suggested testing my I.Q. with the Baby Stanford-Binet (long gone). I actually still remember taking the test, where it was, what color blocks they used, what direction I was facing. Anyhow, the therapists said I was "bored" and to start enrichment, play chess with me (my parents bought a large plastic chess set that one set up on the floor), bring books home so that's how I started reading at 2. "Frustation" and "Bored" are two buzz words you should try to keep in your head when your daughter is acting out. I don't know if you mentioned it, but you should get an up-to-date set of tests done so you can share it with the teachers to enlist their help. I like the idea of homeschooling (although personally I don't have the patience for it). A lawyer SAHM friend of mine did it for her extraordinarily off-the-charts daughter. The kid eventually got a full ride at Harvard Divinity School. Best of luck!

Then in 2nd we are doing better but I can tell the teacher is annoyed wiht her disorganization, messy desk, asking too many questions, trying to continue classroom discussions forever and into way more depth than planned and correcting the her. My DD can't understand why it's wrong to correct the teacher if she is factually wrong or not clear on a subject. She says she's just trying to have a conversation with the teacher about the subject. While we explain it's rude and she should write her thoughs down and show it to the teacher later or just tell us about it she doesn't seem to get it and I really can't blame her. She just lives in a world that she craves information as much as she likes sharing it.

Intelligence is only one aspect of a child's growth and development that we as parents are responsible for supporting. As your child is quite advanced in academics, this could be a good time to focus more on her development of organizational and social skills. One way to help her might be to role-play some of the situations where she seems to be missing other's social cues. Children role-play and pretend all the time, so it will seem to be just a fun game to your daughter, but might be helpful to her in negotiating awkward situations in daily life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I got a ranting long email about how she's driving her crazy and she's basically failing 1st grade.

This sounds inappropriate and highly unusual for a teacher to communicate in this way.

NP

LOL. She's just frustrated. Teachers hear a lot of talk about "gifted" from parents, so when they get one of these kids, they don't believe the parents. Then they get the crazy, genius child in the classroom and don't know what to do. The kid is outside their experience and training. A little patience and advice and help from the parents will help the teacher get centered and get the classroom situation under control.

My profoundly gifted, 2E son nearly broke his 5th grade teacher. He DID break the directoress of his Montessori primary (1-3) school. Both of them had 30+ years of experience, but they ultimately threw up their hands and said "I've never had a kid like this." I tried to warn them at the start of the year, but they didn't listen.

I don't let my crazy, genius child run wild at home, and if the teachers listen to my advice, I can help them get him under control at school, but if they don't listen to advice, I can't help them.

For some profoundly gifted, 2E kids, homeschooling is truly the only way to go. The teachers cannot cater to only one child in a class and the child needs what the school is not set up to provide, so sometimes an individual education at home is the only way for the PG child to get what he needs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I got a ranting long email about how she's driving her crazy and she's basically failing 1st grade.

This sounds inappropriate and highly unusual for a teacher to communicate in this way.

NP

LOL. She's just frustrated. Teachers hear a lot of talk about "gifted" from parents, so when they get one of these kids, they don't believe the parents. Then they get the crazy, genius child in the classroom and don't know what to do. The kid is outside their experience and training. A little patience and advice and help from the parents will help the teacher get centered and get the classroom situation under control.

My profoundly gifted, 2E son nearly broke his 5th grade teacher. He DID break the directoress of his Montessori primary (1-3) school. Both of them had 30+ years of experience, but they ultimately threw up their hands and said "I've never had a kid like this." I tried to warn them at the start of the year, but they didn't listen.

I don't let my crazy, genius child run wild at home, and if the teachers listen to my advice, I can help them get him under control at school, but if they don't listen to advice, I can't help them.

Anonymous wrote:

I got a ranting long email about how she's driving her crazy and she's basically failing 1st grade.

This sounds inappropriate and highly unusual for a teacher to communicate in this way.
In terms of the reading in the corner, that sounds similar to the way my teachers handled me in elementary school. I was allowed to bring any book I wanted to school and could read to my heart's content when I finished my work before the other kids. I loved it because the books I chose from the library were a better fit for my reading level and much more engaging and challenging than the regular school work. I'm convinced that my later high SAT scores (National Merit Finalist) were mostly due to my hours of reading as a child.

Then in 2nd we are doing better but I can tell the teacher is annoyed wiht her disorganization, messy desk, asking too many questions, trying to continue classroom discussions forever and into way more depth than planned and correcting the her. My DD can't understand why it's wrong to correct the teacher if she is factually wrong or not clear on a subject. She says she's just trying to have a conversation with the teacher about the subject. While we explain it's rude and she should write her thoughs down and show it to the teacher later or just tell us about it she doesn't seem to get it and I really can't blame her. She just lives in a world that she craves information as much as she likes sharing it.

Intelligence is only one aspect of a child's growth and development that we as parents are responsible for supporting. As your child is quite advanced in academics, this could be a good time to focus more on her development of organizational and social skills. One way to help her might be to role-play some of the situations where she seems to be missing other's social cues. Children role-play and pretend all the time, so it will seem to be just a fun game to your daughter, but might be helpful to her in negotiating awkward situations in daily life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I probably should have clarified her age. She's 7, almost 8. She qualifies based on her NNAT score.

I'm really looking for additional resources and maybe some other kids her age that are "weird" like her. While she has friends at school, she realizes that she's different and being called weird by the other kids is really starting to get to her. I'd like her to know there are other kids out there like her and I thought this might be a place to start. I'm not looking at it as a badge of honor or anything that I would even tell our friends about but just as a place to find some other kids her age that she can fit in with better academically.

Based on what is said on this board I'm not holding out any hope that APP, should she be accepted, will provide what she seems to need in a classroom setting. Again, thinking this could be a place where she can identify with other kids like her.

Is she on the spectrum? Girls are often high functioning, smart but a little socially odd, not as apparent as boys on the spectrum.

Yes skip AAP. We main streamed our son who tested 2 standard deviations above what was required for AAP placement. he likes odyssey of the mind and other sports. AAP is not for outliers. Life is not a large pull-out class. If your DD doesn't learn how to get along with normal people she will struggle in life. Are the bosses the "book" smart people or the "other" smart people? (or frequently not even smart at all!).

I tell my son people aren't going to like him because he's smart, they are going to like him for being a good person. Find people to hang with that she likes. She'll find someone who can follow her non-linear thinking and other quirks. Have her learn to be a good friend before you start looking for smart friends to hang around with.

Agree with this. People skills and learning be part of the village rather than an outlier outsider is even more important for those who are truly the outliers in life.

OP here - while I agree with some of this I also have gotten other warnings from parents that have pushed their kids similar to my DD into being more mainstream and they've pretty much shut down. She currently finds the world fascinating and I don't want to squash any enthusiasm she has in order to fit in. We work with her on basic social skills and I'm comfortable where she's at but I'd still like her to be around other kids like herself so she realizes it's not a bad thing to embrace her gift. She has tried several sports and while she's a normally active kid she's not made for team sports (she's really into rock climbing - I think because it's an individual and strategic physical activity). So just like parents encourage kids to be a part of sports teams where they excel I just want the same for my DD in her area of "talent".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:to OP, I'm 12:57 back - the second poster, adult member of Mensa, who didn't think much of Mensa. When I checked into it for my Aspie daughter who qualified, there was nothing available for children's get-togethers - at least in our area. You might want to check Facebook - some of the regional Mensa groups have pages and outings but I haven't participated. Our local chapter is not active for children.

I hear what you are saying about wanting your child to find bright kids to play with but I truly don't think Mensa is the way to go about it. I like 22:04's comments. I wouldn't push. Just provide enrichment. Above all, don't give her a big head or make her think she is "special" above all other kids. My I.Q. is 183 and I led a pretty normal child's life except that I taught myself to read at 2, which made public school boring for the first few years. But I found things that interested me and learned that I excelled at school so gained confidence grade-by-grade that i was good at academics but my parents never told me that I was gifted or what my I.Q. was. I had many many friends - from girls scouts and public school activites. I gave three valedictorian speeches until finally beaten out out of the no. 1 slot at Harvard Law. I think self-discovery is the best way to go. I only recently learned that I have eidetic memory which explains a lot (you might want to research that re: your daughter - a lot of research work is being done in memory now). Just give her the gift of time and enroll her in a bunch of fun summer courses, dance, art, girl scouts, etc. When she is older there will be too much homework so let her have some fun now and build self-confidence. And make diverse friends.

My concern is that she is not necessarily doing well in the classroom. It's hard for me to actually tell. The K teacher really challenged her and she loved school. She warned us that 1st and 2nd were going to be challenging. In 1st the teacher loved her at the beginning of the year, hated her by the middle of the year. I got a ranting long email about how she's driving her crazy and she's basically failing 1st grade. This was only after I emailed her to ask why she was getting sent to the reading corner for time outs so often - DD was delighted she got to read all day by herself. Then in 2nd we are doing better but I can tell the teacher is annoyed wiht her disorganization, messy desk, asking too many questions, trying to continue classroom discussions forever and into way more depth than planned and correcting the her. My DD can't understand why it's wrong to correct the teacher if she is factually wrong or not clear on a subject. She says she's just trying to have a conversation with the teacher about the subject. While we explain it's rude and she should write her thoughs down and show it to the teacher later or just tell us about it she doesn't seem to get it and I really can't blame her. She just lives in a world that she craves information as much as she likes sharing it. From what little I've read there are different types of gifted personalities and while you sound more like the kind that figured out the system and makes it work for them, she's the kid that somewhat oblivious to the systems but slowly realizing it doesn't meet her needs or care about her.

This is why I'm so concerned.