I disagree that kids don't talk about it. My older child has told me who was held back and asked why. It's just like talking about what reading group kids are in--that happens whether you like it or not. That being said, I wouldn't let concern about what kids are saying deter me from holding back if I felt it was right.

I also disagree with the notion that public school systems want you to hold children back. They want children to be in the cohorts set by the system. Make an appointment with the principal of your local public school to discuss your concerns. If you are interested in a private school, see what they recommend.

Do you have to make this decision now? It is only December. There is still a lot of time before next school year.

I ask because I am not there yet, but will have to make a decision about my own son in a few years as he has a late August birthday.

My observation: If the teacher recommends it, I would probably hold my kid back a year unless I have very good reasons not to do so.

Anonymous wrote:

As an aside, in 1st grade, the kids know who was held back and who wasn't. They talk about how so-and-so is supposed to be in 2nd grade. My DS asked me why - how can I answer truthfully without it sounding bad? Either they had a learning disability or their parents didn't think they were ready - neither is a compliment for the child. On the other end, they know the kids who started 1st grade at only 5 years old and they say they are supposed to be in K this year. ha!

Disagree completely with above statement. Both as a first grade teacher and a parent of two kids who are grown.

It hasn't been a problem for us either. I would not let fear of first graders influence a decision that is going to have ramifications in middle school, high school, and college.