Anonymous wrote:Mines a carpenter so he CAN do lots of things but sometimes I have to remind him a couple of times. He finally changed the bulbs in the bathroom when they ALL went out. I would've done it myself but didn't want to make a trip out on the bus in the cold to buy them.

Should add, trip would've been with a baby in tow.

Mines a carpenter so he CAN do lots of things but sometimes I have to remind him a couple of times. He finally changed the bulbs in the bathroom when they ALL went out. I would've done it myself but didn't want to make a trip out on the bus in the cold to buy them.

It does bother me that my partner does nothing domestic and is very lazy and sloppy. We can't afford to pay someone else to do things, so it all falls on me. While I respect and enjoy people who get things done and are handy, I don't really care or judge if people are not domestic. I never wanted to live with him, knowing he's this way, but when I got pregnant he convinced me that he could change, and that it would be best if we lived in the same household. As it turned out, he didn't learn or mature, and he'll always be like this. A dozen years later, his attitude remains one of visiting royalty--and sullen teen royalty at that. If we could afford to live as next-door neighbors, I would prefer to do so.

My husband cooks, cleans, and fixes things. He's awesome.
If he didn't and worked all day earning enough to hire a handyman, I'd be fine with that too.

0P, if your husband makes a lot of money, I think you should set in place a good housekeeping and handyman schedule. Have a housekeeper come in at least once a week. Also, schedule handyman for a block of time at least once a month. Keep a list of things that need to be done.

Its just a shame that hot courtship turns into keeping track of who does what around the house?

Anonymous wrote:A lot of you married pussified lazy men.

I hit the husband lottery ! There is nothing mine can't do.

+1

Anonymous wrote:I am really curious to hear from some of these husbands. So many women complain that they have husbands who do nothing. I wonder if husbands would agree that they do nothing - that they just sit around all lounge while wife does all the child care, all the housework, all the yard work, all the repairs. i wonder how many husbands would agree that their opinion about what needs to be done and how it should be done is equally as valued. I wonder what story objective cameras would tell.

I personally don't know of a single couple where one does 100% and the other does 0% yet on here that seems to be about 75% of all couples.

My husband says he's "working". His job lets him do his work whenever and wherever he wants, and it is a high-intensity profession. So that's sort of plausible. Looks to me like he's scowling at his computer pretty much every waking minute. So at least he's not in the recliner with a beer.

As for who does more... when I went on strike and refused to enter, much less maintain, the basement (entirely his space), we got bugs, mice, and a small leak that he literally stepped over for weeks before I asked what was making that smell downstairs. (It was the mildew in the baseboard, which I have since torn out and replaced and re-caulked.) I've returned home from four-day trips to find four days of dishes in the sink. He'll do something if I ask him to. But almost never the first time I ask. And then with the most put-upon air imaginable, as if asking the guy who's twice my size to lift one end of some heavy furniture is a really shrewish, nagging thing to do.

And no, I didn't marry this man. I'm living with a pod person who is inhabiting the body of my late husband. The guy I married was solicitous and tidy and all about being a great partner. The pod person refuses to discuss it; just goes on a bulleted tirade about all the things he has to do.

NEWSFLASH!! - people see what they wanna see and when it comes to women all they see is stuff to complain about.

I bet you Bob Vila's wife complains that the Brazilian Walnut hardwood flooring he put in is too exotic.
"Damnit Bob why didn't you get the American Walnut like I said?!!"

Anonymous wrote:I am really curious to hear from some of these husbands. So many women complain that they have husbands who do nothing. I wonder if husbands would agree that they do nothing - that they just sit around all lounge while wife does all the child care, all the housework, all the yard work, all the repairs. i wonder how many husbands would agree that their opinion about what needs to be done and how it should be done is equally as valued. I wonder what story objective cameras would tell.

I personally don't know of a single couple where one does 100% and the other does 0% yet on here that seems to be about 75% of all couples.

FWIW, OPs in this section aren't fully representative of the full spectrum of couples.

Anonymous wrote:I am really curious to hear from some of these husbands. So many women complain that they have husbands who do nothing. I wonder if husbands would agree that they do nothing - that they just sit around all lounge while wife does all the child care, all the housework, all the yard work, all the repairs. i wonder how many husbands would agree that their opinion about what needs to be done and how it should be done is equally as valued. I wonder what story objective cameras would tell.

I personally don't know of a single couple where one does 100% and the other does 0% yet on here that seems to be about 75% of all couples.

I don't think anyone expects 50/50 or even thinks it's 0/100. I think most would be happy with even a 70/30 split. Just show some effort.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do get frustrated at times. He grew up in a country where labor is cheap. I grew up poor doing it all myself. I'm the one who does house repairs 99% of the time because I don't want to spend the money. He'd hire everything out if he could. I wish he'd change a lightbulb of he saw it out. Without my having to ask him. That's probably what frustrates me the most. If something is obvious, fix it.

The boldface part of your post is incredibly ironic.

It's only ironic because you assume I'm not doing anything else when asking him. Wish I had downtime like that.

If your life is so busy that you don't have time to change a lightbulb, you have far bigger problems than a husband who doesn't shovel snow often enough.

Light is out in main bathroom where DCs take their showers. I'm painting walls downstairs. It's perfectly reasonable to expect DH, who is in charge of bath time routine, to change the lightbulb in the shower so the kids aren't in the dark. It would be ridiculous for me to change it.

I am really curious to hear from some of these husbands. So many women complain that they have husbands who do nothing. I wonder if husbands would agree that they do nothing - that they just sit around all lounge while wife does all the child care, all the housework, all the yard work, all the repairs. i wonder how many husbands would agree that their opinion about what needs to be done and how it should be done is equally as valued. I wonder what story objective cameras would tell.

I personally don't know of a single couple where one does 100% and the other does 0% yet on here that seems to be about 75% of all couples.