Anonymous wrote:Whole class, or don't do it at all. Teacher will know that each person didn't give $2.50. Return the money or just say whole class. I have been teaching a long time, we aren't stupid, but if you were petty enough to only put the donor names I would think that was obnoxious. Some people didn't give because they are jerks, some couldn't give, some can without feeling it at all, some give and it is a big deal. We know how it works, we know the parents. If you are so snotty that you only write the contributors names, I think you are underestimating the teacher.

Another teacher here. Absolutely this.

Honestly, if I got a group card with 9 children's names signed on it, I would think the room mom was kind of petty, and I would feel sad thinking that another parent might be harshly judging the actions of those parents who I know CAN'T contribute. If you are acting in your capacity as "room mom" then you are doing something on behalf of the whole class. You asked the parents to contribute towards a class gift. Some parents contributed. It's still a class gift.

I assume you are giving me a gift because you want to show me your appreciation. It is the thought that counts, not the value of the gift.

Your teacher appreciates your taking the time to organize this. It is not necessary, but it is very much appreciated. Thank you.

Anonymous wrote:OP, that sucks.

If I was in your position I would put in more of my own money and sign for the class.

And then next year, let everyone do their own thing.

This happened to me one year. So I put in more and never did a class gift again.

I am a parent and former teacher. You don't need to add more money. The class gift is nice, but trust me, the teacher will get a ton of other gifts from most of the the other parents who didn't contribute to the group gift. Some parents would rather give their own gift.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't care to contribute to group gifts. Nor would I expect to be
listed on the card that accompanied the group gift.

What annoys me is when a room mom assumes that if I didn't give her money, I didn't give the teacher a gift. Or endless emails with guilt ridden messages about not getting money from everyone yet with underlying accusatory tones.

Room mom, do what you want. Just let me do what I want and stop harassing me!

Perhaps try some basic communication? Ever think that you could just hit 'reply' to the room mom's e-mails and actually tell her that you are doing your own thing? Or is it more fun to just complain

Because its not anyone's business what I am doing. I don't feel obligated to explain myself to the room mom.

No, you were complaining about the endless emails. Last I checked most of us are not able to read minds. Btw, I can guarantee you that the room mom could care less about what you are doing. She or he just wants to get the task done and to do so needs some basic information. You are ridiculous PP.

You're right. I got 11 emails from the room mom about the donations for the class gift. My point is only email once, send a reminder as it gets closer, and end it. 11 emails is obnoxious. If I didn't send money in by when you requested, it's not because I missed your first 10 reminders.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't care to contribute to group gifts. Nor would I expect to be
listed on the card that accompanied the group gift.

What annoys me is when a room mom assumes that if I didn't give her money, I didn't give the teacher a gift. Or endless emails with guilt ridden messages about not getting money from everyone yet with underlying accusatory tones.

Room mom, do what you want. Just let me do what I want and stop harassing me!

Perhaps try some basic communication? Ever think that you could just hit 'reply' to the room mom's e-mails and actually tell her that you are doing your own thing? Or is it more fun to just complain

Because its not anyone's business what I am doing. I don't feel obligated to explain myself to the room mom.

No, you were complaining about the endless emails. Last I checked most of us are not able to read minds. Btw, I can guarantee you that the room mom could care less about what you are doing. She or he just wants to get the task done and to do so needs some basic information. You are ridiculous PP.

Anonymous wrote:Whole class, or don't do it at all. Teacher will know that each person didn't give $2.50. Return the money or just say whole class. I have been teaching a long time, we aren't stupid, but if you were petty enough to only put the donor names I would think that was obnoxious. Some people didn't give because they are jerks, some couldn't give, some can without feeling it at all, some give and it is a big deal. We know how it works, we know the parents. If you are so snotty that you only write the contributors names, I think you are underestimating the teacher.

Bingo. OP, don't stress about the amount or number of donors. Unlike a waiter, your teacher does not rely on tips to live. If they're offended, then they're not professional and don't deserve a cash bonus anyway.

Standard etiquette says if you asked for donations to a "class gift" from parents, then sign the card as the "class". Sort of like high school or college alumni group gifts. We get one plaque on the wall or one brick on the path for the class for that year.

If one of the 9 donors in your class of 29 complains about freeloaders (how would they know?), you can politely remind them that the appeal was for a class gift, not individual ones. Then thank them for their generosity and know that you've set a good example for your child of generosity in time, spirit, and funds.

People you are spending upwards of $200 per child on Christmas, and you can't spare $20+ for the person who contends with your child all day every day?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't care to contribute to group gifts. Nor would I expect to be
listed on the card that accompanied the group gift.

What annoys me is when a room mom assumes that if I didn't give her money, I didn't give the teacher a gift. Or endless emails with guilt ridden messages about not getting money from everyone yet with underlying accusatory tones.

Room mom, do what you want. Just let me do what I want and stop harassing me!

Perhaps try some basic communication? Ever think that you could just hit 'reply' to the room mom's e-mails and actually tell her that you are doing your own thing? Or is it more fun to just complain

Because its not anyone's business what I am doing. I don't feel obligated to explain myself to the room mom.

Whole class, or don't do it at all. Teacher will know that each person didn't give $2.50. Return the money or just say whole class. I have been teaching a long time, we aren't stupid, but if you were petty enough to only put the donor names I would think that was obnoxious. Some people didn't give because they are jerks, some couldn't give, some can without feeling it at all, some give and it is a big deal. We know how it works, we know the parents. If you are so snotty that you only write the contributors names, I think you are underestimating the teacher.

Whoever contributes to the teacher's gift signs the card, simple as that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do I sign the card from the whole class or just the names of the children whose families sent money?

If you have class, you sign it for the entire class.

Sorry, this is wrong. Why is it classless to note that it is from those who paid? Others may be doing their own thing or may have a personal reason for doing nothing...if it is a few OR if it is those you know can't swing contributing, list everyone...otherwise, don't...and it is just as classy, dear.

How about the mom who takes contributions to buy a Longaberger basket--whose sister just happens to sell.

Anonymous wrote:I don't care to contribute to group gifts. Nor would I expect to be
listed on the card that accompanied the group gift.

What annoys me is when a room mom assumes that if I didn't give her money, I didn't give the teacher a gift. Or endless emails with guilt ridden messages about not getting money from everyone yet with underlying accusatory tones.

Room mom, do what you want. Just let me do what I want and stop harassing me!

Perhaps try some basic communication? Ever think that you could just hit 'reply' to the room mom's e-mails and actually tell her that you are doing your own thing? Or is it more fun to just complain

I don't care to contribute to group gifts. Nor would I expect to be
listed on the card that accompanied the group gift.

What annoys me is when a room mom assumes that if I didn't give her money, I didn't give the teacher a gift. Or endless emails with guilt ridden messages about not getting money from everyone yet with underlying accusatory tones.

Room mom, do what you want. Just let me do what I want and stop harassing me!

It sounds as though it's a damned of you do, damned if you don't on the room parent's part. Maybe the room parent could arrange for a group card signed by the entire class or maybe some sort of artwork done by all of the kids in the class (maybe the room mom could frame it as her part of the teacher's gift). Then send out a teacher FAQ - listing the teacher's favorite hobbies, stores to shop at, restaurants to eat at...and then let the individual parents decide whether or not to send in a gift card or not. 7 $5 gift cards work just as well as one $35 gift card.

Room parenting is not always an easy job. Thanks to all who take on the task.