Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is thinking about this from the perspective of mature, enlightened adults. The perspective of your sons peers may not be quite the same. As one PP said, as long as your DS goes into it knowing he may have to deal with some guff from the other guys, then why not let him try it out. Your DH, on the other hand, is thinking like a teenage boy which may give you an idea of what issues your son may face.

I agree. Your husband knows what it is like to be a teenage boy. Have a realistic talk with your son about the shit he is going to catch at school (wrong thought it is) and will he want to deal with it.

You know who else knows the perspective of teenage boys? OP's son, who has asked to try out for cheerleading. You think he doesn't have a pretty good grasp of how his peers think about homosexuality, cheerleaders, and bigoted dads? I think a lot of PPs here are projecting.

Good point, teenage boys are known for their uncanny ability to fully explore and understand the short and long term ramifications of their decisions. Parental guidance to explore these areas is unnecessary.

While they are not known for their fabulous decision making in general, I think most teens are pretty aware of what is going to be considered uncool. And I'm thinking attitudes on some of these things might have changed since Dad's time, although certainly it is worth discussing with DS if Dad is really worried that will be social repercussions.

We have a winner!!!

I'm a middle aged dad. Like most men on this forum, I grew up with a long list of things that were "gay" and thus to be avoid like the plague. I did not learn the list from my parents but rather from my peers, although my dad was a man's man and I got from him a bunch of ideas about what a man is (stoic, unwilling to ask for help, unwilling to show emotion, angry). My son is straight, but he loves to dance, spends time on his hair and wears stylish, exuberant clothes that would have gotten me killed had I worn them as a kid. He also talks though problems that he has with other kids (rather than punching them, which is what we did). He's also popular, athletic and reasonably happy. I admire him and work hard to keep my prejudices to myself. Sounds like OP's husband should do the same.

I go to the college games and the guys are HOT.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is thinking about this from the perspective of mature, enlightened adults. The perspective of your sons peers may not be quite the same. As one PP said, as long as your DS goes into it knowing he may have to deal with some guff from the other guys, then why not let him try it out. Your DH, on the other hand, is thinking like a teenage boy which may give you an idea of what issues your son may face.

I agree. Your husband knows what it is like to be a teenage boy. Have a realistic talk with your son about the shit he is going to catch at school (wrong thought it is) and will he want to deal with it.

You know who else knows the perspective of teenage boys? OP's son, who has asked to try out for cheerleading. You think he doesn't have a pretty good grasp of how his peers think about homosexuality, cheerleaders, and bigoted dads? I think a lot of PPs here are projecting.

Good point, teenage boys are known for their uncanny ability to fully explore and understand the short and long term ramifications of their decisions. Parental guidance to explore these areas is unnecessary.

While they are not known for their fabulous decision making in general, I think most teens are pretty aware of what is going to be considered uncool. And I'm thinking attitudes on some of these things might have changed since Dad's time, although certainly it is worth discussing with DS if Dad is really worried that will be social repercussions.

Anonymous wrote:I dated a male cheerleader in college. He was so hot (i'm female).

+1. Male college cheerleaders are ripped.

OP, I am so sorry for your son. His father's negative reactions to your DS's activities will run far and deep. Kids should follow their dreams, not the dreams the parents have.

I have experience with this directly. My husband's constant criticism of my son and his activities (he is a kind, considerate kid who is a good friend and son) has deeply affected my son. My 17 yo and I are moving out in early January. I will not subject my son to such extreme negativism when it just isn't warranted. Yes, I realize my reaction seems extreme, but the negative dynamics at my house are extreme and and wearing on us all.

I truly wish your son luck. It is very hard to grow up with such a critical parent.

I took ballet for 2 semesters in college. 40 girls and 4 guys in each classes and most of the women were attractive and in shape. No regrets wearing tights as my house mates were amazed at the women I knew.

Maybe your son is gay OP. Then what? Like others have said, what would your husband say about that?

Anonymous wrote:G W Bush was a cheerleader. Don't think he is gay or anyone thinks he is gay. Thinking your son is smart, gets to hang out with the girls and maybe this will help him get into a better college.

Maybe holding the girls up by their panties in their short skirts is seen as a benefit to him. Might be the opposite of gay.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is also thinking of this from the perspective that girl cheerleaders are desirable people to spend time with. Ick .

Agreed. It hurts my head to think about spending time with cheerleaders.

Being mean and judgmental is OK when the non-cool kids do it!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is thinking about this from the perspective of mature, enlightened adults. The perspective of your sons peers may not be quite the same. As one PP said, as long as your DS goes into it knowing he may have to deal with some guff from the other guys, then why not let him try it out. Your DH, on the other hand, is thinking like a teenage boy which may give you an idea of what issues your son may face.

I agree. Your husband knows what it is like to be a teenage boy. Have a realistic talk with your son about the shit he is going to catch at school (wrong thought it is) and will he want to deal with it.

You know who else knows the perspective of teenage boys? OP's son, who has asked to try out for cheerleading. You think he doesn't have a pretty good grasp of how his peers think about homosexuality, cheerleaders, and bigoted dads? I think a lot of PPs here are projecting.

Good point, teenage boys are known for their uncanny ability to fully explore and understand the short and long term ramifications of their decisions. Parental guidance to explore these areas is unnecessary.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is thinking about this from the perspective of mature, enlightened adults. The perspective of your sons peers may not be quite the same. As one PP said, as long as your DS goes into it knowing he may have to deal with some guff from the other guys, then why not let him try it out. Your DH, on the other hand, is thinking like a teenage boy which may give you an idea of what issues your son may face.

I agree. Your husband knows what it is like to be a teenage boy. Have a realistic talk with your son about the shit he is going to catch at school (wrong thought it is) and will he want to deal with it.

You know who else knows the perspective of teenage boys? OP's son, who has asked to try out for cheerleading. You think he doesn't have a pretty good grasp of how his peers think about homosexuality, cheerleaders, and bigoted dads? I think a lot of PPs here are projecting.