Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF. You guys can't open another account? Your major living expenses are paid for by an account your DH's mom funded when he was a minor? That's pathetic. Either set up a separate account for the earnings you both have now … or live with the fact that it is HIS AND HIS MOM'S MONEY - you are sucking at the MIL teat in that case - grow up and accept it.

No, we have more than one account. This particular account, however, has many drafts coming out/money coming in from a business. It's a large headache to move all of it to another account. Again, why does it matter if she's on it-- it's her name on it. She doesn't have a card linked to it (that she uses but I understand she *can* have one) and she doesn't check statements nor does she frequent the bank. Why should she stay on it?

this is just a poor excuse. just set up new account like you should have done a long time ago. all this drama for no reason.

um..the posters who are bitching at the OP are ridiculous. My DH too had an account joined with his father (who didn't use it) and he wanted to put my name on it. he asked his father, done deal. no drama, no temper tantrums no ridiculousness. She doesn't use the account. She should be happy to make things easy for her son. but no. ridiculous bullshit and OP has every right to vent and be annoyed and clearly has not done anything to cause problems here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I agree with the PPs -- keep doing what you're doing and stay out of the discussion between MIL and DH. Let DH handle it (and FWIW, you are 100% right to get her off the account, and PPs who say "just get a new account" don't understand what a headache that can be when you have been using that account for business purposes).

For now, pick a stock reply: "MIL, this is between you and DH. I'm not getting involved." Lather, rinse, repeat. Keep track of how many times you say it. If you say it more than 5 times a day, you get a mani-pedi.

Jesus. Another bright individual. Thank you!

You're not looking for advice, you're looking for validation.

Twit.

Ok, OP sounds kind of like a pill here (you do, OP), but those of you telling her to get a new account or whatever aren't answering the question she asked. She's not asking for business advice, or banking advice -- she's decided, wisely, to stay out of this row between DH and MIL. DH is the one deciding to ask MIL to take her name off the account instead of opening a new one, not OP (although OP agrees with the decision). She's saying, given DH's call, how can she deal with the fact that her MIL is now throwing shade at her?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I agree with the PPs -- keep doing what you're doing and stay out of the discussion between MIL and DH. Let DH handle it (and FWIW, you are 100% right to get her off the account, and PPs who say "just get a new account" don't understand what a headache that can be when you have been using that account for business purposes).

For now, pick a stock reply: "MIL, this is between you and DH. I'm not getting involved." Lather, rinse, repeat. Keep track of how many times you say it. If you say it more than 5 times a day, you get a mani-pedi.

Jesus. Another bright individual. Thank you!

You're not looking for advice, you're looking for validation.

Twit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't permit her to yell at you. Hang up if she does.

Someone who reads! Thank you for advice and answering my question!

Uhm, no. Someone who agrees with you, so you're happy.

I read the whole long winded post.

I side with MIL. It is her account. Either open a new one, or deal with it. As for the rest of it, hard to tell whose at fault since you don't sound like too much of a winner yourself.

New account and transfer funds into it.

As for the rest, refuse to communicate if MIL is not respectful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I agree with the PPs -- keep doing what you're doing and stay out of the discussion between MIL and DH. Let DH handle it (and FWIW, you are 100% right to get her off the account, and PPs who say "just get a new account" don't understand what a headache that can be when you have been using that account for business purposes).

For now, pick a stock reply: "MIL, this is between you and DH. I'm not getting involved." Lather, rinse, repeat. Keep track of how many times you say it. If you say it more than 5 times a day, you get a mani-pedi.

Jesus. Another bright individual. Thank you!

So Op - all you're really looking for is a pity party and people to validate how long-suffering you are? Seems like you don't want to actually DO anything proactive to change the dynamic, you just want to complain and play the martyr.

You and your husband made a stupid business decision with your bank account and you're too lazy to correct it. There's an easy fix there. And avoiding a MIL or deciding not to participate in the drama is doable also. But it's MUCH more rewarding to bitch endless instead huh?

I'm really starting to feel for the MIL here.

Bingo! Really, who doesn't shut down an old childhood account and open a new omen when they grow up?

OP, I totally get what your'e saying. I too have the MIL from hell. But here's the thing: you cannot make her respect you, understand your feelings, or anything else. The only thing you can control is your reaction to her nonsense. Your husband is sticking up for you, and that's good. But you will be forever unhappy (and therefore MIL will win) if you tie yourself up in knots over her ridiculous behavior. Do not cry, yell, or try to explain your feelings to her. She does not care and probably likes to see you upset. Be calm, firm, and slightly distant. Do not react, do not give her explanations, just tell her how it is and then don't engage. Or better yet, let your husband tell her how it is. She will soon realize that if she doesn't behave, it will cost her time with her son and grandkids. It is time for you to stop letting this woman yank your chain. After a year or two of this treatment, my MIL behaves herself with me, even though she still tries to terrorize the rest of her family. She knows that I will not tolerate her antics.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I agree with the PPs -- keep doing what you're doing and stay out of the discussion between MIL and DH. Let DH handle it (and FWIW, you are 100% right to get her off the account, and PPs who say "just get a new account" don't understand what a headache that can be when you have been using that account for business purposes).

For now, pick a stock reply: "MIL, this is between you and DH. I'm not getting involved." Lather, rinse, repeat. Keep track of how many times you say it. If you say it more than 5 times a day, you get a mani-pedi.

Jesus. Another bright individual. Thank you!

So Op - all you're really looking for is a pity party and people to validate how long-suffering you are? Seems like you don't want to actually DO anything proactive to change the dynamic, you just want to complain and play the martyr.

You and your husband made a stupid business decision with your bank account and you're too lazy to correct it. There's an easy fix there. And avoiding a MIL or deciding not to participate in the drama is doable also. But it's MUCH more rewarding to bitch endless instead huh?

I'm really starting to feel for the MIL here.