Anonymous wrote:Not sure I would ever ask. WTF.

You would sleep with someone without knowing their sexual history?

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my late 30's and a virgin. I have never had a boyfriend. My assumption is that the majority of men, and any man I would be interested in, would be weirded out by my virginity. Thus, if it ever comes up, my plan is to lie about both my sexual history and having had past relationships.

Why have you never had a boyfriend? This wouldn't be so unusual at 22. What happened at that age?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who's in her late 30s, a virgin and never had a boyfriend.. she's very good-looking (when we were younger she could have been rightfully called a knockout), comes from a good family, is well-educated, and has so many 'issues' that her virginity/boyfriend-ness do not surprise me anymore.

So, OP, my answer is no.

+1. I have a friend like this too except she is in her late 40ties. She's a virgin and single for very good reasons.

Out of curiosity, what do you see as the reasons?

What if she's technically a virgin, but has gotten physical in other ways? I have a friend who "hooks up with" men, has had a couple of relationships, but never actual had intercourse. I'm not completely clear on if she's waiting for marriage, or just a better relationship, but it's not like she's never seen a naked man.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was until my mid thirties. I was nervous in my college years, and then went down an employment path with very odd hours and always moving around. It became a situation where opportunity and inclination weren't in the same place at the same time. When they finally were, I didn't tell him. I didn't have some bizarre notion that my virginity was a "gift" to be bestowed. I felt that he was the right person because I wasnt freaked out about my virginity with him.

Are you overweight? Not good looking?

I'm average and have had men throw themselves at me from high school on.

Just because they do, do you have to say yes? Some people just don't find the idea of casual sex appealing. I can masturbate to get off. I'd rather have sex with someone I'm comfortable with, care about , and am not worried that I'm just another notch in the bedpost.

Never said I slept with every man that wanted to sleep with me, but I found 2 serious relationships decades before 30...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my late 30's and a virgin. I have never had a boyfriend. My assumption is that the majority of men, and any man I would be interested in, would be weirded out by my virginity. Thus, if it ever comes up, my plan is to lie about both my sexual history and having had past relationships.

Don't you think your first sexual partner will realize you are a virgin? Would it be better to tell him so that he adapts the lovemaking accordingly?

I was about to ask the very same thing.

There's no way to get away with that lie when it comes to action. Past relationships, on the other hand.. I don't see why not!

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my late 30's and a virgin. I have never had a boyfriend. My assumption is that the majority of men, and any man I would be interested in, would be weirded out by my virginity. Thus, if it ever comes up, my plan is to lie about both my sexual history and having had past relationships.

Don't you think your first sexual partner will realize you are a virgin? Would it be better to tell him so that he adapts the lovemaking accordingly?

This is quite unusual. Unless it is someone who is very religious....I would be very leery.

Why would someone be a virgin in their 30's?? Like what type of issues would they be dealing with at this stage in their life?

Not sure I would ever ask. WTF.

I'm in my late 30's and a virgin. I have never had a boyfriend. My assumption is that the majority of men, and any man I would be interested in, would be weirded out by my virginity. Thus, if it ever comes up, my plan is to lie about both my sexual history and having had past relationships.

I am religious, so the virginity is great to me.

The never having had a a SO by the late 30s gives me a lot of pause. I would really tread carefully and would be looking hard for red flags. Assuming there are red flags, I'd then have to determine how bad they are, and if I want to move forward.

It's all about character in my mind, so what's in their character that may have stopped them from having a SO? I also look for a good trajectory -- if they aren't healthy right now, can it be proven clearly that they are moving in that direction with self awareness and intentional choices?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was until my mid thirties. I was nervous in my college years, and then went down an employment path with very odd hours and always moving around. It became a situation where opportunity and inclination weren't in the same place at the same time. When they finally were, I didn't tell him. I didn't have some bizarre notion that my virginity was a "gift" to be bestowed. I felt that he was the right person because I wasnt freaked out about my virginity with him.

Are you overweight? Not good looking?

I'm average and have had men throw themselves at me from high school on.

Just because they do, do you have to say yes? Some people just don't find the idea of casual sex appealing. I can masturbate to get off. I'd rather have sex with someone I'm comfortable with, care about , and am not worried that I'm just another notch in the bedpost.

No and no.

My husband was late 20s, virgin and no real relationships when we met. Been married 5 years and going strong.

Anonymous wrote:I was until my mid thirties. I was nervous in my college years, and then went down an employment path with very odd hours and always moving around. It became a situation where opportunity and inclination weren't in the same place at the same time. When they finally were, I didn't tell him. I didn't have some bizarre notion that my virginity was a "gift" to be bestowed. I felt that he was the right person because I wasnt freaked out about my virginity with him.

Are you overweight? Not good looking?

I'm average and have had men throw themselves at me from high school on.