OP - its 50k (I don't see the amount as that important). It would be nice to have, but more of a bonus on top of the down payment fund we have built independently. Not taking will not prevent us from buying a house.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I work, and make almost twice as much money as my husband does. I have student loans, which he does not, but I have been paying them off aggressively since graduating a couple years ago. Our marriage has not been rocky -- really our major issue has been figuring out how to deal with them.

Is there a reason you won't say how much money it is, OP?
You have been asked several times.

Not a big deal at all. Don't know why OP is looking for a reason to get upset.

I think it's pretty ballsy of them to ask the OP to sign a paper like that. It isn't like the OP and her dh have even asked for this money. This is all coming about because the *BIL* needs the money and the in-laws feel as though they can't gift their one "kid" money w/o doing the same for their other "kid" who just so happens to be married. So they've come up with this weird, awkard little strings attached paper for the OP to sign. Which basically signs away her rights to this gift money which will just happen to be tied into a joint marital asset - the OP and her husband's future house. I would say no, No, NO!!! thanks.

Why isn't the BIL subject to the same proviso--any person you marry has to agree that this gift isn't theirs? Couldn't BIL meet someone tomorrow?

I think it's jerky of them. That said, I'd take the money because either 1) you get the money, never get divorced and it's nice that you paid less or b) you get the money, end up divorced and your ex-DH has some amount more of equity in the house but you're still in the same position you would have been in (because otherwise you buy without their money). But to stick it back to them I'd insert some clauses in the agreement about the "gift" giving them no rights to a) choosing the home, b) access to the home; c) decision making affecting changes to the home, c) etc etc etc.

Nah, turn it down.

Anonymous wrote:No. Once you're married they can't demand anything.

I would take the money but it needs to come without strings.

This, but it needs to come from DH. With a dose of his righteous outrage.

OP here. I work, and make almost twice as much money as my husband does. I have student loans, which he does not, but I have been paying them off aggressively since graduating a couple years ago. Our marriage has not been rocky -- really our major issue has been figuring out how to deal with them.

Has your marriage been really rocky? Is there reason to believe you could son be separating or divorcing? Do you work? How much money?

I think they are in the wrong, I am just trying to figure out that they would say their rational is.

Anonymous wrote:how much money?

My in-laws give me $28k each year ($14k from each of them as a gift). They do the same for my husband, their son. I would argue that giving freely to the DIL (or SIL, as the case may be) is a good way to ensure that the couple stays married.

exactly