OP, NO...You most definitely did not take this WAY TOO personally. If I liked a guy and he did this to me too, I would also be down in the dumps.

I hate to be blunt, but trust me on this....IF this guy really really liked you, he wouldn't have fallen asleep. He would have been too excited for this date...Like a kid on Christmas Eve.

But look at the silver lining here.
You dodged a bullet.

This guy is a jerk.
Many women find this out after many dates. Some after many months, years, kids, etc.

Be glad you found out before the first date.

Lucky Girl.

Good Luck.

OP - be thankful he showed his true colors. You totally dodged a bullet.

If you do give him another chance, give him a weeknight when you wouldn't be that upset to be home chilling. (or have a backup plan with friends.)

it is possible he really did fall asleep, but it's also possible - and maybe more likely - that he blew it off to hang with his friends or another woman. That said, I would think he'd just text that something came up that night if that was the case, and not just stand you up.

Good luck, OP! I can understand why you're upset.

I don't think it sounds like a self esteem issue. The guy forgot about her. How is that not offensive?

OP please please do not go out with this guy again. If you do, I promise you will be posting on DCUM years from now about your lazy, never follows through perpetually stunted, doesn't appreciate you at all dope of a husband. I say this as someone who used to make all kinds of excuse for my man-child boyfriends until enough was enough at age 35. Now happily married to a grown up who made lot of effort to date me, call me, make plans etc...He showed me his true self while dating and guess what, he is still that same stand up guy as my husband and father of our baby.

One more thing, OP. It seems that you would benefit from building up your self-esteem a bit. While most of us outside the situation were able to see that this guy clearly has issues and his behavior clearly reflected that, you were feeling more hurt and rejected than anything, which is almost like blaming yourself rather than this guy. No snark intended, I certainly have gone through periods like this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the person who said to consider giving him another chance. I guess you have your answer. Out of curiosity, have you heard from him since?

I responded to his text the next day saying that the fact that he was sleeping didn't make me feel less rejected, but I also said- not that we couldn't try again but I was still kinda hurt. He responded "okay" to that and I haven't heard from him since...

He then posted on Facebook about what an idiot he is sometimes and I heard from our mutual friend that he is feeling sorry for himself about it.

Which would be the point at which I stopped giving him the benefit of the doubt. He had an opportunity to make it up to you - like by saying "how about if I take you out to dinner tonight?" and then showing up with flowers instead of texting "okay" and then being a sad bastard about it on FB.

+1

This is not a good precedent. It is not your job to make him feel better. It is his job to fix his screw-up.

The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Walk away from this; who needs this guy?

PP again - and he may have consciously or unconsciously sabotaged this because he knows he doesn't have his s**t together enough to date someone like you.

Anonymous wrote:Btw please don't feel rejected. Annoyed and pissed off, yes - but not rejected. The guy clearly has issues that waaaaaay pre-date this incident.

11:17 pp here, I agree with this and the one before. Substance abuser! Don't marry someone that needs changing. Find someone you like as is.

Btw please don't feel rejected. Annoyed and pissed off, yes - but not rejected. The guy clearly has issues that waaaaaay pre-date this incident.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What time was the date? How early did he fall asleep on a Saturday night?

I heard from him at 5:30 saying he was getting ready and then I never heard from him again!

Oh gosh, that does sound like a substance abuse issue.
This kind of thing used to happen with an ex prior to him getting treatment for alcoholism.

Don't bother with this guy. Please, from someone married to a stoner, listen to the cat scratch post.

I am 11:12 and posted before I saw your update. Nevermind!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the person who said to consider giving him another chance. I guess you have your answer. Out of curiosity, have you heard from him since?

I responded to his text the next day saying that the fact that he was sleeping didn't make me feel less rejected, but I also said- not that we couldn't try again but I was still kinda hurt. He responded "okay" to that and I haven't heard from him since...

He then posted on Facebook about what an idiot he is sometimes and I heard from our mutual friend that he is feeling sorry for himself about it.

Which would be the point at which I stopped giving him the benefit of the doubt. He had an opportunity to make it up to you - like by saying "how about if I take you out to dinner tonight?" and then showing up with flowers instead of texting "okay" and then being a sad bastard about it on FB.

So, I think the only way to salvage this is to be really upfront. I would text him back really honestly something like, I was really excited for our date and you stood me up. Then the next day, you somehow thought that a text would make me feel better and it made me feel worse. And then see how he responds. While I tend to agree with most PPs, I do have three brothers ranging from mid 20s to late 30s and all of them would probably screw up the apology via text thing. It doesn't necessarily make him a terrible person although I find it really weird that he fell asleep at 6:00 pm.