I'm friends with one of them, but not the other. The other is a nut case.

My brother's wife is selfish and entitled. She was the first in her family to get married and have kids, and I think she has unrealistic expectations about how much others should help her. I've done a lot for them over the years, always helping her out, and it's hurt me tremendously that there's no acknowledgment and she still feels like I owe her something. I've reached out to her many times - but there's no reciprocity. My brother's kind of an ass as well.

Other SIL's I get along with. We're not BFFs or anything, but when we see each other we get along fine. They're a little older and less entitled.

You sound like my SIL. Did it ever occur to you that she doesn't want/need your help or that you are overbearing and have no boundaries? Maybe that's why there is no reciprocity- because you just expect too much from others for your help they didn't ask for or want.

13:17 - Wow. A sane SIL! Thank you for being grateful toward her! You made my day

My SIL and I are very different and I don't always understand her but yes, we are friends. She has been incredibly good to us and our kids and I do love her as family even if we don't chat on the phone once a week.

I'm pretty good friends with all my SILs (my two brothers' wives and my husband's brother's wife).

I don't see my brothers' wives all that often since they live a few hours away, but we genuinely enjoy each other's company and will chat on the phone from time to time. My other SIL and I are pretty different people but we get along really well and share a special bond as the two family outsiders. I'd definitely be happy to have any of them go away on a girls weekend with me.

My brother met his wife at 18 when they were freshman in college. They married at 22 and their first child showed up a year later. That same year, my brother and I lost our mother and she also lost her mother. In a way, the 3 of us came into adulthood together.

Are we friends--no. But she is my sister and I love her.

Anonymous wrote:My brother's wives would be my friends if we lived closer. They are both a lot of fun, but the distance (cross country) makes it hard. We see them every couple of years, and we have a great time

Is your brother a fundamentalism Mormon?

I like my SIL though we are not really "friends". I suspect that if we lived closer to one another, we would be close. She can be a little much, but I'm pretty easy going. Our husbands are twin brothers.

Anonymous wrote:Do you think it is sisters in law who are married to brothers, as opposed to sisters in law who are connected through a sibling - like a woman marries a man and he has a sister wh becomes her sister in law - are more likely to get along?

Interesting question. I adore my sister in law - that is my husband's sister. She is one of the kindest, sweetest, smartest people I know. That makes sense because she is my husband's sister and he's a great guy too. My brothers' wives, not so much. One I like, but she's significantly younger and we don't have a ton in common. The other is not who I would chose to have in my family at all. She makes my brother happy so I need to try and remember that when she drives me nuts. It's pretty clear to me that she was a 'mean girl' in school and her behavior hasn't changed much.

Nice SIL = secure.

Nasty, pissy SIL = insecure, doesn't want a "new" woman in the family. Afraid you will find something out.

Mine is the latter, proved me right, unfortunately.

Anonymous wrote:No. We get along fine, but she's young, newly married, living the life of a carefree young person in the big city....drinking, spending money, shopping... Just immature and shallow in general. Not a bad person, just not someone I would befriend.

If I were her, I wouldn't want to befriend you either, as nothing you state she's doing with her life seems worthy of your judgement and your post reeks of jealousy. If she doesn't have kids, what else should she be doing with her free time?

My brother's wife is selfish and entitled. She was the first in her family to get married and have kids, and I think she has unrealistic expectations about how much others should help her. I've done a lot for them over the years, always helping her out, and it's hurt me tremendously that there's no acknowledgment and she still feels like I owe her something. I've reached out to her many times - but there's no reciprocity. My brother's kind of an ass as well.

Other SIL's I get along with. We're not BFFs or anything, but when we see each other we get along fine. They're a little older and less entitled.

My DH's sister is a controlling B. I keep my distance as best I can. My brother's wife is fabulous- wished she lived closer to us than DH's sister.

Meh. I tried at my wedding (to SIL's brother). When I asked if she would be interested in being in our wedding, we would love to have her, and would be really excited....she responded "what would I be wearing"? That kinda set the stage.

My brother's wives would be my friends if we lived closer. They are both a lot of fun, but the distance (cross country) makes it hard. We see them every couple of years, and we have a great time. My DH's sister on the other hand is a total b-word. She has hated me since I met her. She even told me right before my wedding that we would never be friends. She told everyone that the only reason her brother proposed to me was because I was pregnant. Imagine everyone's surprise when I wasn't. I was getting lots of dirty looks from my DH's cousins at our wedding. They thought I was pregnant and drinking champagne. Of course I didn't hear about this nasty lie until many years later. One thing after the other, for 12 years she made me miserable. I finally (with DH's blessings) cut her off, and life has been so wonderful. He sees her when he wants and he takes the kids, but I don't have to see her. It is heaven.