Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your religious beliefs are probably anti-divorce too?

They are...but at this time I am considering it anyway.

Do you think your religious organization could help you?

There is a part of me that dreams of having a 3rd, even though we said we were done at 2. I think my desire to have another is more because I love the baby phase and the first few month of getting to know a new little person. I miss baby snuggles and nursing. In reality though I know that it would be insanely difficult to juggle 3 kid with 2 working parents and as others have mentioned 3 would mean a bigger car and more costs associated with everything from travel to college tuition. We are also at a point now where our kids are getting easier to handle and I can’t imagine starting over with a newborn.

Anonymous wrote:We had four, all grown now, and I wish we'd had at least one more.

Why?

We are happy at two, at just replacing ourselves in the population. I extrapolate that if everyone had three, four, or more, the planet could not support that.

Also when considering finances we wanted to be able to pay for the kids' college educations, including possibly grad school, and two will be our limit for that.

We had four, all grown now, and I wish we'd had at least one more.

Anonymous wrote:...I'm tired all the time, get stressed easily, and feel pretty stretched as it is. I'm happily married...

This. This is how I knew that we should stop having children.

We wanted six but after 4, we knew we were done. It just felt right. My sister wanted 4 but she married someone whose entire family lives across the world so to make sure they can afford frequent trips to visit relatives and because #1 hasn't stopped moving in the 26 months since he was born, they have stopped after #2.

If I were younger, had more money and/or family support, I'd consider three. But we are absolutely done at two. Almost 40 with an infant and three year old and exhausted.

Can't afford 4 tuitions I mean!!

I would like a 4th but our kids go to private school and we can afford 3 tuitions!!! If they were in public I'd have another.

I am one of five kids. I always knew I did not want a big family but also didn't want an only child. We stopped at two because we were happy. It feels right.

The first two kids were accidents, the second two were had when I was older and knew what I was doing. We stopped at 4 because we saw potential to get stretched a little thin.

Had 2 girls, life was great. Decided to roll the dice & see if I'd get preg (I did). Figured we'd never regret having a 3rd but might regret not having one (we were so on the fence but didnt feel completely 'done'). Our 3rd is awesome but a total handful. If he'd been #2 we would not have tried for 3. Now that we have him though, we can't really imagine life w/o him. He completes the family in a funny way & the 3 kids are completely crazy about each other. No way could we do 4.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Due to our religious beliefs, we don't use birth control...first 4 kids came VERY quickly...Dh is military and was deployed A LOT the first 8 years of our marriage, still we managed to have 4 kids in 6 years.

He's not a nice person when I am pregnant. It's really bad, actually. So I've cut him off completely, sexually. No more kids for us.

that makes me so sad.

The part where I've cut him off makes you sad, not that he is abusive when I'm pregnant? Strange....but I'm not going to continue to have sex with someone that won't treat me with respect when I am carrying his child.

Excuse me? All you said was "He's not a nice person when I am pregnant."
For all I know, that means he doesn't change dirty diapers and leaves his socks on the floor. My mind doesn't think that he's not a nice person = abuse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Due to our religious beliefs, we don't use birth control...first 4 kids came VERY quickly...Dh is military and was deployed A LOT the first 8 years of our marriage, still we managed to have 4 kids in 6 years.

He's not a nice person when I am pregnant. It's really bad, actually. So I've cut him off completely, sexually. No more kids for us.

that makes me so sad.

The part where I've cut him off makes you sad, not that he is abusive when I'm pregnant? Strange....but I'm not going to continue to have sex with someone that won't treat me with respect when I am carrying his child.

So he is only abusive when you are pregnant?

He has been abusive at many times but ALWAYS when I've been pregnant and in more scary ways. The only time he actually ever physically struck me was when I was pregnant. The other times it has been more verbal abuse/intimidation.

Why didn't you stop at #1 or #2?

I hope she isn't reading these posts. Why are so many people acting like jerks towards a woman whose husband is abusive?

You know what you do when you have an abusive husband? YOU STOP HAVING CHILDREN WITH HIM. Right away. Not after 4 kids.