I've got experience with a marriage with a 22 yr age split - I don't recommend it. It's not about the number - it's about what phase of life you are in - and in most cases, the 2+ decade split is just too much.

I believe in the age/2+7 rule, which takes into account that phase of life business and the way in which the age difference gets less important as you both get older. I'm currently in a 11 yr age difference (other direction) marriage which fits the age/2+7 rule and it works much better.

Anonymous wrote:I have noticed that the "perfect" age difference between men and women seems to be 16 years, the man being the older one. Whenever you hear about a man leaving his wife for a younger woman, the age difference always seems to be about 16 years -- I do not know why this is.

So under my theory, a man cannot start to date his "perfect" match until he is at least 35; and can no longer date a woman in her early 30s or younger once he is older than 48 years.

I don't think that just applies to men. Look at Demi and Ashton. She was 16yrs older than him.

My mom is 15 years older than my stepdad, and they just celebrated their 25th anniversary. Just a random little share there.

Another share - my good friend is married to a man 15 years older, and she likes the money but him not so much. Regularly complains of life stage differences and lack of things and friends in common. They just had a baby and now she is 100% into that and they barely hang out, so I wonder how things will go in the future for them.

I am married to a man 2 years older than me, and when I complain that we don't have enough money he likes to tell me that I should have married a guy about 15 years older. But my DH is hot and we have a lot of fun together.

I am rambling really, but my conclusion is that the perfect thing is actually to find a guy your own age with a trust fund.

I am 47 and hes 31. Works amazing. We are so in love, i look 35. We have never been happier. I don't get why we judge couples because of their age difference. Look at Tina Turner, she made that man wait 30 yrs to put a ring on her, she married at 73 and hes 57, hes staring to get sick and she's perfectly happy. My mom is 70 (looks 50) my stepdad is 58...he looks like a cadaver due to cancer, she has been by his side all the way, and yet as gross as he looks she still loves him. And I know if my mom wanted she would re-marry, she has a beautiful body, solid, and some laughing rinkles and an amazing smile. We are all so worried about what people think. Live your life, live it for TODAY, tomorrow might not get here. Be HAPPY NOW : ) stop worrying so much

My mom remarried a 56yr old when she was 55. They are still together and happy. This is their second marriage.

Anonymous wrote:I have noticed that the "perfect" age difference between men and women seems to be 16 years, the man being the older one. Whenever you hear about a man leaving his wife for a younger woman, the age difference always seems to be about 16 years -- I do not know why this is.

So under my theory, a man cannot start to date his "perfect" match until he is at least 35; and can no longer date a woman in her early 30s or younger once he is older than 48 years.

You must be a fat, old loser trying to sell younger women on old penis. I dated a man who was 37 when I was 19. He was in the initial stages of ED (penis was only ever semi-hard) and was losing his hair. He was also very bitter about life. I collected some nice gifts from him and let him support me through school. Then I dumped him. I am now married to an optimistic, sweet man only three years older whose penis still gets rock hard and whose best years are still ahead of him.

Anonymous wrote:Hey, cool. My husband is 16 years older than me. Works for us.

And yes I know one day he will be so old and gross and I'll be minorly less old and gross so it will TOTALLY SUCK. This is repeated as nauseum in these threads so you don't have to remind me!

Hey Thanks,
after reading all the discouraging statements finally found your words which cheered me all the way. Not that am worried but wanted to know how people react to the age difference. I know after few years our life may suck but who cares as long as we live each day till then. Thank you .

You people focus too much on relationship at its inception point, and don't think too much down the line. Marriage is not about the wedding. It's about the life that follows.

I was married to an older man, for love, and widowed at 29. Never again. I have nothing against older men - the heart wants what the heart wants - but the cold fact is that they do die sooner, and I don't want to deal with this again. Yes, any one of us may die any time, but you must admit that old age tips your risk of being dead sooner rather than later.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:this is totally stupid. anyway research shows that relationships with that big of an age diff end in divorce more often than when there's a smaller gap, so your theory is wrong

OP does not make the claim that the 16-year age difference is good or bad, or will result in fewer or more eventual divorces. As I read it, OP is simply making the claim that in their experience, men who divorce and then remarry a younger woman, will typically remarry a woman who is somewhere around 16 years younger than them.

Even if true, very few men actually do this, so it hardly makes for a perfect age difference. The perfect difference, according to men and women, is about 3-4 years. There is a lot of reputable research on this, no reason to rely on "centurion's" highly problematic sample (the same one that had him convinced that women have way much more se than they actually do).

I had an apartment and was getting my MA, and my husband (16 years diff) was renting and working. I didn't need him; I chose him. There was a long line of guys before who would have loved to marry me (was engaged once and proposed to many times before, and in serious relationships - just didn't find the right one for me yet), and some of them were doctors, military (high up and successful) career men my age, etc. I hated dating younger guys and guys my own age; they were like whipped puppy dogs. I think there is a sense of security in women dating an older man... which let's be honest, if you are dating young or old, no matter, you want that as a woman (at least, I do!). A sensible, secure, and trusting relationship. Love is friendship+actions, not just emotions. Too many marriages break up because they are based on naïve rules or expectations placed by nosy people who should be minding their own business and give advice that has no basis for other people's decisions... if I marry older, it's my life and my choice to be happy for the few years I have here with my husband, and I would much rather do that, than be in an unhappy marriage, divorced, or single, because of what other people say is the "golden key" or "what I should do" in my own life, in relation to years apart from one another in marriage.

Pass

My parents are 15 years apart. Still together after 40 years. I'm in my 30's and like women my age to 8 years younger or so - I like a more conventional relationship. But it did work for my parents, and worked great.

To the most likely middle aged bitter woman who keeps talking about "saggy balls" in many threads, please shut up. Nobody wants to see your wrinkles and saggy tits either.

I am the exception but I am 46 and dating a 65 year old man, a very young acting/looking active amazing man. I have yet to meet any 40 something years old who can hold a candle to him and the sex is off the charts. Age is nothing more than a number.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll dovetail into the unpopular views in these parts thread... Women with means and self esteem simply don't date men 16+ years their senior.

Exactly! There are exceptions here and there, but this is mostly true.

Wrong. But nice job being so judgmental!

I'm the typical case OP posted about with a marriage so amazing and solid that people are jealous. It wasn't about money, I had my own. Plus my own property.

I don't feel an age difference at all. You can't create a perfect model of someone and think they won't work for you if they don't fit into certain parameters. People who do that end up alone. Or miserable.

+1. DH and I are a story of two well-liked, successful professionals that fell in love after a long friendship. Some of my female co-workers judge once they realize the age difference because they assume he must of have been SO much more established or richer than I was. Not really. I mean he was very accomplished and educated but so was I. We just fell in love, got married, and lived happily ever after.

Well I'm 32 and my 5 year olds dad is 48. You know what type of "relationship" this was in the beginning, but we actually have a good time together and being parents has not got in the way of our relationship