Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think having one parent staying at home is the best thing for a lot of families, but I would not do so in the scenario you describe. Staying at home is for rich people (of which I am not one, so I work).

That's funny because I see it the opposite. If I returned to work, I would make around $50K as a teacher. After taxes, it wouldn't make sense for me to work as daycare for 2 kids plus before and aftercare for the third child would end up costing us money.

How did you decide you could afford three kids?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am a commercial litigator at a large law firm. It is very hard to get back into the law (especially litigation where you are a dime a dozen) after taking time off.

To all those saying live of DH's salary for 6 months, that is what we currently do. My income goes to paying the nanny, preschool, and additional monthly savings, i.e., college savings, additional life insurance premiums, vacation fund, etc.

Those additional savings would have to go (or we would drastically have to change our lifestyle) if I was to stay home. So I guess the question isn't whether it is actually feasible to stay home, but what were you willing to give up financially to stay home.

If you took a few years off with your kids would you want to go back to work in any other capacity in another field -- anything from transitioning into a new career like teaching or real estate or sales or moving into another area of law like trusts and estates, elder care etc. If yes, then you're not out of the work force forever, though obviously you're not going back to a biglaw salary either and for other fields, you may incur some more education/certification costs.

You say you live off of DH's salary -- do you save anything off that salary or is that entirely consumed with living expenses? Bc in addition to what his salary already covers, it would also have to cover preschool and life insurance, correct? Is there any area of your life you could downsize - as small as eating out or as large as moving out to a different area?

Also do you feel like you've contributed "enough" to your 401k -- i.e. if you never contributed more and just had to live with the compounding of the current investment account at a "reasonable" rate (i.e. something like 5-7%, not 10-12%) would you feel like that was enough -- or would you say, I wish I stayed for another year or two to put in another 17.5/yr?

Also, how soon are you looking to do this? If you want to do it right now but can delay it for another 6 months or 1 yr or more, that can be a "significant" amount of savings, esp. in biglaw.

To be a stay home mom:
Do not buy a home (a home you are going to raise your family in long-term until your family is complete to know how many bedrooms you need, what will work.

Buy in a school district you can be happy with for the long-term, and consider the commute too.

Buy the home based on only one income. period.

Anonymous wrote:I think having one parent staying at home is the best thing for a lot of families, but I would not do so in the scenario you describe. Staying at home is for rich people (of which I am not one, so I work).

That's funny because I see it the opposite. If I returned to work, I would make around $50K as a teacher. After taxes, it wouldn't make sense for me to work as daycare for 2 kids plus before and aftercare for the third child would end up costing us money.