Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say I lack empathy and continually view things through my 'lens' of how did you not see that coming??

Truth of the matter is not everyone can see 3/4 steps ahead and anticipate risk. Honestly, most people probably can't. Clearly it's me and I work on it every day with those close and not close to me, but it's almost like having glasses that are clearer than others' and somehow they refuse to wear theirs. Though it's not the case at all.

This is well said.

Our oldest kids are 4 and 6 and already know what the Darwin awards are and that you have to have the misfortune of dying to win. Generally we call things bad choices but when they are BAAAD enough I'll break out 'the s word' and tell my kids 'this is a stupid thing to do'... usually when a person walks in traffic or fries bacon shirtless.

Agree that the bolded was well said. For a long time I just thought, why don't other people think ahead through possible outcomes. It seemed bizarre. I've realized that not everyone can do this; but others have other skills that I don't.

Anonymous wrote:Saying 'don't be stupid' does not aid one in being less stupid. The act of pointing out ones stupidity will not change them for the better. You being unbending and intolerant of stupidity is highly stupid in itself.

People are at all different stations in life. They will make the same mistakes. They will make stupid mistakes. Rehabbing stupidity takes constant love and understanding. Maybe they'll change, maybe they won't, but giving them a good environment is the smart way to make any difference.

If someone pointed out that something I did was stupid, I would learn through the criticism. Constant love just gives people license to trample all over you.

maril332 wrote:For example, when someone gets hurt out of their own negligence or frankly.. stupidity? Often I feel like "well, what would you anticipate happening if you did that."

I do this with my kids (and I suppose this counts as "natural consequences")

I can't be the only one who thinks like this.

Yes, I do. And I wonder why people are plain stupid, not just situationally unaware.

Anonymous wrote:This is an awfully old thread, but since others are posting, I'll note that I support OP. I have a 2.5yo whom I adore, but this morning he was having a hard time getting his shoes on while I was dressing his baby brother. All of a sudden he started screaming and crying. "OH NO! What happened??" I said. "I Bit my toe -- It Huuurrrts!" he hollered.
I mean, really? He bit his toe? Like OP, I thought, well what did you think would happen? Still not clear on why he bit it -- something about how he thought it would help him get his shoe on. That's how you learn....

As my mom used to say..."nothing teaches like experience."

Anonymous wrote:I would say I lack empathy and continually view things through my 'lens' of how did you not see that coming??

Truth of the matter is not everyone can see 3/4 steps ahead and anticipate risk. Honestly, most people probably can't. Clearly it's me and I work on it every day with those close and not close to me, but it's almost like having glasses that are clearer than others' and somehow they refuse to wear theirs. Though it's not the case at all.

This is well said.

Our oldest kids are 4 and 6 and already know what the Darwin awards are and that you have to have the misfortune of dying to win. Generally we call things bad choices but when they are BAAAD enough I'll break out 'the s word' and tell my kids 'this is a stupid thing to do'... usually when a person walks in traffic or fries bacon shirtless.

Yes, my kid got on the wrong bus (he is in 5th grade!) and didn't notice until the bus had reached his last stop.

Super smart kid. Super not situationally aware, apparently.

In my head, all I could think was, "what the f**k is wrong with you that you don't notice these aren't the kids on your bus or the stops your bus makes????"

What I find hard is when people consistently do things that are insensitive/unaware around others, and then feel sorry for themselves when others either avoid them or express annoyance. The cluelessness.

I would say I lack empathy and continually view things through my 'lens' of how did you not see that coming??

Truth of the matter is not everyone can see 3/4 steps ahead and anticipate risk. Honestly, most people probably can't. Clearly it's me and I work on it every day with those close and not close to me, but it's almost like having glasses that are clearer than others' and somehow they refuse to wear theirs. Though it's not the case at all.

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes think along the same lines as OP. For instance, a couple of weeks ago and MIT student fell through the skylight on a roof an apt in Boston. He didn't die although had quite a few injuries. Turns out he was jumping up and down on the skylight. While I'm glad he will live and if someone asked me what I thought, I'd say it was a scary accident and I hope he comes out okay, inside I'm thinking "well that was a pretty stupid thing to do. Who in their right mind jumps up and down on a skylight? He's lucky he wasn't killed."

On the radio yesterday we heard that a car of 4 male teens had a driver who thought it was funny to light his armpit hair on fire while driving. The car flipped over and ejected two of them, but all of them walked away unharmed. We had to tell our young kids listening about the Darwin awards.

No I am insensitive to everyone.

I'm with you, OP. I think you've just got a couple of repeat posters who like to play the victim and don't take any responsibility for their own actions. It's funny how these things happen over and over to the same people. Nope, no connection there, they are just really unlucky. Uh huh.

Lololo so funny! Let us know if he learned or does it again.

lmao pp thats hilarious.

This is an awfully old thread, but since others are posting, I'll note that I support OP. I have a 2.5yo whom I adore, but this morning he was having a hard time getting his shoes on while I was dressing his baby brother. All of a sudden he started screaming and crying. "OH NO! What happened??" I said. "I Bit my toe -- It Huuurrrts!" he hollered.
I mean, really? He bit his toe? Like OP, I thought, well what did you think would happen? Still not clear on why he bit it -- something about how he thought it would help him get his shoe on. That's how you learn....

OP, I see a lot of anti-social personality thinking in some of your thought process. You may want to examine why you don't have more empathy for some of the people in these examples you are giving. For example, if YOU had your stroller stolen because you had made a mistake, you wouldn't want someone to think you were at fault?

How do you know that she didn't forget the stroller? Or her husband didn't leave it outside?

You can't seem to put yourself into someone else's shoes or imagine why they might need your sympathy. Have people called you selfish or self-centered in the past?