"Am I somehow missing something here?"

Why yes, yes you are. And that would be lots of lots of empathy. But since you spend so much time with your own children, hopefully you'll find time to teach them what you failed to learn.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am wife #2 and admit to being irritated when I hear about the ex-wife referring to herself as a single parent. To say she can afford to have a support network that suits a not-stressful lifestyle, and has family around, and of course my husband and myself always willing to have my stepchild around more...is an understatement.

And then there is my mother-in-law: abusive ex, masters degree while on welfare, and kids who are pretty darn successful.

To me the distinction is clear. Both can wear the title but one is not fooling anyone.

Fooling anyone about what? By claiming to be unmarried? Surely you wouldn't want your husband's ex to think of herself as still married.

Anonymous wrote:I am wife #2 and admit to being irritated when I hear about the ex-wife referring to herself as a single parent. To say she can afford to have a support network that suits a not-stressful lifestyle, and has family around, and of course my husband and myself always willing to have my stepchild around more...is an understatement.

And then there is my mother-in-law: abusive ex, masters degree while on welfare, and kids who are pretty darn successful.

To me the distinction is clear. Both can wear the title but one is not fooling anyone.

"My husband and myself" - snort!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Geez!
Just another weapon in the arsenal of the Mommy Wars!
Why do we constantly have to find ways to judge and/or compare one another?
Support her, leave her alone, or get off your soap box which is much about nothing.

Mommy Wars? You have to be kidding. I will start supporting my SIL when she stops making negative comments about my kids, my cooking and my (normal BMI) weight on Facebook. The woman is toxic and deserves to be judged. I "leave her alone" as much as I can, trust me! --not OP, but OP sympathizer

You don't need to support her, just don't put her down in a way that distorts what single parenting is or isn't.

When people say that someone is only a single parent if they're virtuous, or suffering, or slutty, they're stereotyping all of us unmarried moms.

If you SIL is annoying (and it sounds like she is) then block her facebook, don't pick up the phone, and call her what she is -- a bitch, but arguing about what is or isn't a single mom is very mommy wars.

Anonymous wrote:Geez!
Just another weapon in the arsenal of the Mommy Wars!
Why do we constantly have to find ways to judge and/or compare one another?
Support her, leave her alone, or get off your soap box which is much about nothing.

Mommy Wars? You have to be kidding. I will start supporting my SIL when she stops making negative comments about my kids, my cooking and my (normal BMI) weight on Facebook. The woman is toxic and deserves to be judged. I "leave her alone" as much as I can, trust me! --not OP, but OP sympathizer

Anonymous wrote:I am wife #2 and admit to being irritated when I hear about the ex-wife referring to herself as a single parent. To say she can afford to have a support network that suits a not-stressful lifestyle, and has family around, and of course my husband and myself always willing to have my stepchild around more...is an understatement.

And then there is my mother-in-law: abusive ex, masters degree while on welfare, and kids who are pretty darn successful.

To me the distinction is clear. Both can wear the title but one is not fooling anyone.

Fooling anyone about what? By claiming to be unmarried? Surely you wouldn't want your husband's ex to think of herself as still married.

I am wife #2 and admit to being irritated when I hear about the ex-wife referring to herself as a single parent. To say she can afford to have a support network that suits a not-stressful lifestyle, and has family around, and of course my husband and myself always willing to have my stepchild around more...is an understatement.

And then there is my mother-in-law: abusive ex, masters degree while on welfare, and kids who are pretty darn successful.

To me the distinction is clear. Both can wear the title but one is not fooling anyone.

Geez!
Just another weapon in the arsenal of the Mommy Wars!
Why do we constantly have to find ways to judge and/or compare one another?
Support her, leave her alone, or get off your soap box which is much about nothing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's safe to say that your annoyance with your sister has very little to do with her proclaiming herself to be a single parent.

That's what I was thinking. Sounds like OP has other issues with her sister, and just wants to vent about her on the internet.

OP here. Yeah, there are other issues there. Sure. And yeah part of it was just to vent. So? Why do I care? Because she complains about her life so much, and I hear it. Plus, in general, her lack of owning up to reality affects me directly in concrete ways and others much more so. A MYOB situation is one where you butt in when the other person isn't offering up anything. My sister offers up plenty. I don't confront her on any of her BS because she is where she is now and doesn't want or need to hear it. So, I vented. Sue me. Isn't half of DCUM just random venting anyway? I didn't realize we were holding ourselves to higher standards.

Anonymous wrote:This is, quite simply, a subcategory of the mommy wars.

The mom on duty 24/7/365 has a very different life than the mom who has 50/50 custody with the other parent. But the grass isn't always greener.

So true. I have my child 24/7/365 and for the most part it is lovely. There are days when I wish I had some help - but those days are more than outweighed by the good days.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorced or widowed women with children ate NOT single mothers. They may be wothout a husband but they haf the good sense and morality to have a husband before having a child.

Also, this poster is a COMPLETE twatwaffle.

While I'm pretty sure I don't know exactly what a twatwaffle is, I think I totally agree that the first poster is an example of a complete one.

Interesting. I always thought the "single" part referred to the fact that the child had a "single" parent, not that the parent was unmarried (although that would also be the case). So if you were co-parenting with someone else, regardless of the marital arrangement, you were not in fact a single parent.