Anonymous wrote:
My husband is the same way. He has untreated ADHD.

He has gotten upset in the past about my throwing away his stuff, but has also made efforts to get rid of things during our last two moves. I don't think he qualifies for hoarder but I think the tendency is there, and it is compounded by rather significant ADHD, the symptoms of which are mainly disorganization, forgetfulness and tardiness. Organizing for him is overwhelming. He acknowledges he might have mild ADHD but adamantly refuses treatment.

I think it would be much more profitable to medicate the ADHD rather than try to treat the hoarding, which is difficult to treat anyway. In my husband's case, at any rate!

I haven't read all the posts, OP, but if your husband has ADHD traits, I think meds for that would make him more willing and able to clean up after himself and tackle the mounds of stuff.

Anonymous wrote:

Many hoarders often have OCD and attentional issues. They cannot focus enough to make a decision. OP, does your husband have any of these?

I am like this. My husband is just the kind of person who brings books home, stacks them in a pile, never puts away his dirty clothing, doesn't know where anything in the kitchen is. It is scary that the bulk of everything falls on me, because I suck at it, and it's a constant source of streess for me. I do clean. I clean all the damn time. I just never finish any cleaning project. We moved two years ago, and we're still not unpacked. We still have piles of crap. I am not a minimalist, but I really don't care about stuff to the extent that I want it all... it's just... getting it the hell out? Never seems to happen.

Many hoarders often have OCD and attentional issues. They cannot focus enough to make a decision. OP, does your husband have any of these?

Anonymous wrote:He's a hoarder, and not just a beginning stage hoarder. If people haven't had experience living with one, they don't know how nasty they can be. They value their stuff more than the people in their lives. It's an intractable problem. OP, you need to find support from people who are living with hoarders or who have experience with hoarders. People who haven't lived it really don't have any clue. He won't get therapy, but you might want to seek it out yourself as you figure out how to live with it. It will impact your kids as well, so you might want to seek therapy for yourself to see if you can mitigate the impact on your kids.

Signed,

Child of a Hoarder (who is still dealing with the aftermath of growing up in a hoarder home)

Anonymous wrote:I do think your husband is a hoarder....but not to the extreme..you know the type that have their own reality show. LOL.

I see myself in him.
I am a hoarder of sorts. I hate throwing anything away. I see value in everything and it drives my family crazy. But let me explain my side of things:

When I got my first apt. at 20 I had nothing. Nothing. Not a T.V. set. A telephone. Not even a pot to cook Campbells soup in. I had a few towels thank goodness. Well slowly over the years I acquired items and of course as my family grew, so did my personal items, etc. I always look back on those days when I had nothing and think to myself how far I have come since then by all the material things I have now. <---- (I know..I know...This sounds SO shallow/materialistic and all, but this is how I became this way.) So that is why I have a difficult time tossing anything away. I see value in most anything. Almost. Now if something is broken, rusty or doesn't work, I can toss it no problem. But if something is simply outdated (I.e., my Polaroid camera) I still want to hold on to it for sentimental purposes which my family hates!! Ha!!!

I say, what your husband is dealing with is most likely psychological and should be dealt with in that manner. I do not recommend throwing things away behind his back since doing something like this may set him off. Hoarders tend to get really angry at this. Some have even gotten homicidal....not saying your hubby will. Just sayin'....


This is how hoarding starts.

so we can park out cars in there (garage)