Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm just trying to picture OP at a bar...

Talking to guy 1:
OP: So what do you do?
Guy1: I'm an investment banker
OP: Oh, where did you go to school?
Guy1: Northwestern undergrad and grad
OP: Oh, well it was nice to meet you

Talking to guy 2:
OP: So, what do you do?
Guy1: I'm a cardiac surgeon
OP: Where did you go to med school?
Guy1: Tufts
OP: Nice to meet you but I have to go

Talking to guy 3:
OP: And what do you do?
Guy3: I'm a lawyer
OP: What law school did you go to?
Guy3: BC Law
OP: Well I have to go.

OP here and I laughed out loud at this. I will freely admit that my quest for a crimson husband is a little absurd. But we are all absurd in some way.

Perhaps. But you are talking about a husband, which has much more serous consequences than being "absurd" about say music or food someone likes. I advise that you snap out of this ASAP. Finding a good man to marry is hard enough without imposing arbitrary limits. Btw, I have a Harvard degree, DH doesn't. We are in our 40s and nobody cares who went to what school. That's important only for early twenties crowd. You need to grow out of it, lest you end without any husband at all.

Anonymous wrote:I have a funny story...The summer after I graduated from law school, one of my male friends told me he was going to study for the bar exam at the Georgetown Med Library (we went to a nearby law school but not Georgetown) because he joked (but he was sort of serious) that he wanted to meet a nice female med student. Well, sure enough, he met her (at the library) and they were married a year later. They are very, very happy and have two kids. they just celebrated their 20th anniversary.

That is a nice story. Better than trolling the bars for a mate!

I have a better play on this one...

Talking to Guy 1: Hi! So, where do you go to school?
Guy 1: Harvard!
Talking to guy 1: Really?! What's your name?
Guy 1: Ted. Ted Kaczynski!

Op...do you want prestigious men or only Harvard men. Yes, we all have absurd things but this is pretty extreme. Do you want to be 35 and single because you couldn't get a Harvard husband?

What did you grow up in a small town with a lot of people who didn't go to college and stayed in that town? And now you want to marry a Harvard man to show off? You sound desperate and pathetic.

I went to HLS and married one too. Try Cambridge Common as well as the options listed above -- right by the law school and lots of students go there for a beer. Also there's a burger place across from the ghetto Star Market that's a common hangout, or was when I was there. and Grendels. I would say Brother Jimmy's but I believe it is now gone.

Catholic mass at the church on the Square is a good suggestion, many of the Catholic boys seem to be more marriage-minded.

But tastes differ. One of the PPs noted the Harvard Magazine personals as funny and well-written. My DH and I read them to each other over a glass of wine because they are so pretentious and ridiculous. Apparently the female grads are all Jodie Foster or Audrey Hepburn look-alikes, whose "friends describe them as stunning" with "irreverent" wit. They all love Provence, Italy, cooking elaborate meals, and running international nonprofits. It's hysterical.

Anonymous wrote:@10:47: thanks I do appreciate the advice

You're very welcome!

NP here. There are lots of Harvard kids in Somerville (in response to PP earlier). I used to live near Davis Square. It's mostly people who work at MGH but also some phd students

@10:47: thanks I do appreciate the advice

Anonymous wrote:I'm just trying to picture OP at a bar...

Talking to guy 1:
OP: So what do you do?
Guy1: I'm an investment banker
OP: Oh, where did you go to school?
Guy1: Northwestern undergrad and grad
OP: Oh, well it was nice to meet you

Talking to guy 2:
OP: So, what do you do?
Guy1: I'm a cardiac surgeon
OP: Where did you go to med school?
Guy1: Tufts
OP: Nice to meet you but I have to go

Talking to guy 3:
OP: And what do you do?
Guy3: I'm a lawyer
OP: What law school did you go to?
Guy3: BC Law
OP: Well I have to go.

OP here and I laughed out loud at this. I will freely admit that my quest for a crimson husband is a little absurd. But we are all absurd in some way.

Anonymous wrote:@00:13, this is why I mentioned I'm not looking to be a SAHM:

Well . . . for starters, I think the guys would smell you from a mile away.

I'm not trying to be a trophy wife! But I really appreciate this insider's perspective on HLS. I'm actually amazed because I know people at BU Law and a lot of long-term relationships formed there. I guess HLS kids just gun harder?

And yes, I went to an LAC that is not in the northeast and have a white-collar job in a field that I like. So I'm definitely not a street bum trying to screw my way into a good marriage.

I'm 27 so this is pretty much the average "Settling Down" period for women.

Shame that these men are all in hook-up mode!

OP you are totally missing the boat on this piece of feedback. Regardless of your own perspective on what you're looking for, you clearly have a vision of what it means to find a Harvard husband and you are pursuing it. THAT is what others will smell from a mile away. It doesn't matter that you have your own job. What matters is, you have this attachment to a Harvard-grad hubby, and most people will have no respect for that. I have an ex who is a Harvard law and Yale undergrad grad. I'm also an Ivy League grad, but actually my ex ended up marrying a great woman who never went Ivy League. The thing is, when he met her, she couldn't have cared less about his "credentials". She cared about HIM. That you don't know that people can smell the difference pretty much guarantees that, while you will probably succeed in finding SOME Harvard grad who will marry you, you're destined to be miserable. Because no matter what you *think* having a Harvard hubby will get you, it will never ever ever give you whatever you truly need if your priorities are like this.

This is not a flame, it is a heartfelt post. I truly hope for you that when you least expect it, some awesome security guard or teacher sweeps you off your feet and you end up happier than you ever imagined you could be. Because in the end, isn't it about being truly happy?

All the Harvard grads I know married other Harvard grads, seven sisters grads, seriously wealthy young women, or in several cases, their roommates or suite mates sister. Harvard grads tend to be very egotistical and they have women throwing themselves at them constantly. Even the very weird ones. But good luck!

I sense a book deal or reality show in your future if you snag your Harvard man....Go Crimson.

I married a wonderful Harvard Law grad, weeks after he graduated. He was an older student, not straight out of college. There are a number of these guys, although not the majority.

I was not a law student and I am in a very different field, which I think he likes and I know I like. We complement eachother and don't compete.

The PP who mentioned wives being Ivy grads and not secretaries is pretty spot on. I am an Ivy grad and we had a lot in common. We met through mutual friends.

As for finding Harvard Law School guys and older grad students etc. try the Thirsty Scholar, Daedalus, Cantab Lounge, Grendel's Den.

I'm just trying to picture OP at a bar...

Talking to guy 1:
OP: So what do you do?
Guy1: I'm an investment banker
OP: Oh, where did you go to school?
Guy1: Northwestern undergrad and grad
OP: Oh, well it was nice to meet you

Talking to guy 2:
OP: So, what do you do?
Guy1: I'm a cardiac surgeon
OP: Where did you go to med school?
Guy1: Tufts
OP: Nice to meet you but I have to go

Talking to guy 3:
OP: And what do you do?
Guy3: I'm a lawyer
OP: What law school did you go to?
Guy3: BC Law
OP: Well I have to go.

OP, I am loving this discussion because you are me 20 or so years ago. This Quest did not work out for me... fortunately, something much better did... but I can completely relate to where you're coming from, at this stage in your life.

I say, if this is what you (think you) want, go for it. You never know. Don't be surprised if you're disappointed in what you find when you really get involved in this search, but this is how you learn and grow. Best of luck to you, and please keep us posted!