Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm Christian but grew up in a predominantly Jewish town. I know to look for YK and other Jewish holidays, and would never plan an event unless I knew no Jews were slated to attend. However, I can also tell you that if I were from someplace where Jews were rare I wouldn't have a clue, and not every calendar lists it, and in some cases those calendars also list every major and minor holiday from around the world that you ignore most of.

But this happens both ways. I remember being invited to bar/bat mitzvahs on Good Friday where about 25% of the kids in the class who were invited were Catholic. So a bunch of us went but didn't eat, and even though it was a late night party, they cleared the food at 11:50 just as we were getting ready to eat. Such is life.

Off topic, I know, but do people fast on Good Friday? I've never heard of that (I'm obviously not Catholic).

You fast when you're going to someone else's solemn religious ceremony. Other than that, not so much. But my friends and I discussed it and felt we should observe our own religion because it just felt wrong to blow off religion in general that day. It made sense when we were 13.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm Christian but grew up in a predominantly Jewish town. I know to look for YK and other Jewish holidays, and would never plan an event unless I knew no Jews were slated to attend. However, I can also tell you that if I were from someplace where Jews were rare I wouldn't have a clue, and not every calendar lists it, and in some cases those calendars also list every major and minor holiday from around the world that you ignore most of.

But this happens both ways. I remember being invited to bar/bat mitzvahs on Good Friday where about 25% of the kids in the class who were invited were Catholic. So a bunch of us went but didn't eat, and even though it was a late night party, they cleared the food at 11:50 just as we were getting ready to eat. Such is life.

Were you really invited to more than one of these? I can perhaps see one, but even that is hard to believe. Bar/bat mitzvahs are typically on a Saturday, some on Sundays, but I have never heard of them being held on a Friday. Usually, the kid is called to the Torah, and Torah is not read on Fridays. And besides, Good Friday/Easter usually coincides, or is in close proximity, to Passover, which a) has a lot of food restrictions, and b) people often spend with their families and often travel, kind of like Thanksgiving. Most Jews would not want to deal with the hassle of hosting a bar/bat mitzvah on Passover.

Anonymous wrote:I'm Christian but grew up in a predominantly Jewish town. I know to look for YK and other Jewish holidays, and would never plan an event unless I knew no Jews were slated to attend. However, I can also tell you that if I were from someplace where Jews were rare I wouldn't have a clue, and not every calendar lists it, and in some cases those calendars also list every major and minor holiday from around the world that you ignore most of.

But this happens both ways. I remember being invited to bar/bat mitzvahs on Good Friday where about 25% of the kids in the class who were invited were Catholic. So a bunch of us went but didn't eat, and even though it was a late night party, they cleared the food at 11:50 just as we were getting ready to eat. Such is life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm Christian but grew up in a predominantly Jewish town. I know to look for YK and other Jewish holidays, and would never plan an event unless I knew no Jews were slated to attend. However, I can also tell you that if I were from someplace where Jews were rare I wouldn't have a clue, and not every calendar lists it, and in some cases those calendars also list every major and minor holiday from around the world that you ignore most of.

But this happens both ways. I remember being invited to bar/bat mitzvahs on Good Friday where about 25% of the kids in the class who were invited were Catholic. So a bunch of us went but didn't eat, and even though it was a late night party, they cleared the food at 11:50 just as we were getting ready to eat. Such is life.

Off topic, I know, but do people fast on Good Friday? I've never heard of that (I'm obviously not Catholic).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone else's birthday isn't about you, OP.

While I am not Jewish, a LOT of my friends are and I tend to be conscious of the major Jewish holidays. But there are also some times when despite that knowledge I have no choice but to schedule something on a Jewish holiday, because of some other factor that was important and just couldn't be scheduled any other way. Sorry about that. I understand that you may not be able to attend, but thought it would be more rude to not include your child than to include you, let you decide how important that holiday was for you, and let you accept or politely inclined. If you would prefer that we exclude your child from future invitations if we think you might be unavailable, we can do so.

Substitute the word "Christian" and then instead of Yom Kippur say the holiday is Christmas. The briskly, let's generously call it matter-of-fact tone likely would not apply then. Scheduling a part on THE main Jewish holiday is a faux pas if some of your invitees are Jewish.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of non-Jews don't quite understand that Yom Kippur is our MOST religious and important day of the year. It is to us what Christmas is to them. Maybe if people understood that more they would be less likely to schedule things on that day. The other Jewish holidays aren't as big of a deal, but I think people would be pretty annoyed if I scheduled my child's party on Christmas.

We were recently invited to an adult evening event on Yom Kippur. There were lots of other dates the host could have chose. I think they really don't understand the importance of this holiday to those who are Jewish.

As seen in the responses on this forum, it's not that people don't understnad, it's really that they don't care. It may not be malicious, but it is insensitive. I expect no less, though. I try to keep my expectations low.

Anonymous wrote:I'm Christian but grew up in a predominantly Jewish town. I know to look for YK and other Jewish holidays, and would never plan an event unless I knew no Jews were slated to attend. However, I can also tell you that if I were from someplace where Jews were rare I wouldn't have a clue, and not every calendar lists it, and in some cases those calendars also list every major and minor holiday from around the world that you ignore most of.

But this happens both ways. I remember being invited to bar/bat mitzvahs on Good Friday where about 25% of the kids in the class who were invited were Catholic. So a bunch of us went but didn't eat, and even though it was a late night party, they cleared the food at 11:50 just as we were getting ready to eat. Such is life.

Anonymous wrote:We are Christian and I have no idea when Yom Kippur is, so if it fell on or near my child's birthday I could totally see this happening to us. I realize its an important holiday in the jewish faith but its just not on my radar.

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of non-Jews don't quite understand that Yom Kippur is our MOST religious and important day of the year. It is to us what Christmas is to them. Maybe if people understood that more they would be less likely to schedule things on that day. The other Jewish holidays aren't as big of a deal, but I think people would be pretty annoyed if I scheduled my child's party on Christmas.

We were recently invited to an adult evening event on Yom Kippur. There were lots of other dates the host could have chose. I think they really don't understand the importance of this holiday to those who are Jewish.

Anonymous wrote:This is what comes of marrying shiksas.