If SIL is as toxic as OP claims, then inviting the whole family isn't SIL being nice, it's SIL just putting on her mask or inviting more people to abuse.

It'd be helpful if we had some examples of SIL's behavior.

OP--you aren't venting. You're gloating over SIL being publicly humiliated. If you were truly venting, you would be sorry to see that she had to go through this to realize how much trouble she had caused the family. But you're actually reveling in her "comeuppance" which makes you just a shallow person that gloats in revenge.

OP, I didn't see any question in your post...so it was a vent only, I guess. I totally agree with you for making your own plans, and sticking with them, but why post about it? Why even look at what SIL has posted on Facebook unless...you were looking to check whether she'd posted to bitch about all this?

Get off Facebook and you won't have to worry about the "bloodbath." Spend the time you would spend tracking the Facebook-fight on other things. Anything.

And did anyone think to invite MOM to the alternative SIL-free gathering? So you're leaving mom, whom you like, to spend the holidays with toxic SIL?

You're on the verge of being part of the problem if you continue to engage with SIL by following her FB posts. Drop it. If you aren't reading that crap you won't feel the need to vent about it.

I can't post a screenshot for obvious reasons. I am so damn happy the famiy is calling toxicSIL on her crap. They even called my brother out for putting his head in the sand where she is concerned.

So now the family is comparing notes now. toxicSIL is notorious for talking shit behind your back and being nice to your face. Several convos are now going on diff fb pages. She loves to be the center of attention but I don't think she is enjoying this. All her shit is coming to light. God I am loving this. I've had to bite my tongue so many times that I can't believe parts of my tounge are not missing.

That bitch is probably crying her eyes out. Playing the role of victim and she did this all to herself.

My good SIL and I danced around the living room like kids singing ding dong the witch is dead the witch is dead. We can barely pry ourselves away from fb.

Wow, you are one cold bitch, OP.

Anonymous wrote:You don't have to spend holidays with her.
She can feel how she feels about it. And while fb post is immature, it was probably written out of shock and hurt.
You shouldn't have declined an evite, a phone call or email would have been more graceful.

WTF? The invitation was issued by evite. A phone call wasn't necessary and an email would have been no different than declining by evite.

You don't have to spend holidays with her.
She can feel how she feels about it. And while fb post is immature, it was probably written out of shock and hurt.
You shouldn't have declined an evite, a phone call or email would have been more graceful.

Anonymous wrote:I totally agree with the PP, but at the same time, I really want to read the rest of the Facebook messages.

me too! my fb friends are so boring compared to this delicious drama!

OP, just do your own thing with your brother. don't engage her, just wish her a happy thanksgiving. she is going to hate you whether you come to her gathering or not, so just go ahead and do your own thing. life's too short.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP didn't say anything about posting on facebook. It sounds like OP did the right thing by making family plans with those she wants to spend time with - nothing wrong with that.

You're so right. Exclusion is a beautiful thing.

Sister in law was terrible to post on Facebook. Wow.
However....excluding them for your holiday planning is really, really mean. Wow. You are in the wrong, op.

No she is so NOT in the wrong. She isn't obligated to spend the holidays with people who are mean to her. She is free to make her own plans. What planet do you all live on?

Yes, please, thought my family was a mess, but this just makes me feel enlightened to the messes out there. Tx

I want to know more details!!! C'mon, OP, give!