Actually, 11:16, I think I might fit your description! I was in a sorority in college, and while it offered me some great experiences, I have become uncomfortable with the fact that it was an "exclusive" group (I mean that by its strict definition - it was not a group everyone was allowed to be a part of - not that it was any more or less exclusive than the others). I had great experiences and made some nice friends, but those experiences were not open to everyone who wanted to join, and when I think of that now, I don't like it. I wish my 18 year old self had been able to see that.

I would never say that I "hate" Greek life, but I don't love it either, and I hope my children go to colleges with a small or nonexistent Greek presence.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people do realize that binge drinking and date rapes occur in people who aren't in greek life correct?

I was in a sorority for 2 years. It was very casual at my school because no one was allowed to live in their houses. It was basically a way to make friends your freshman year (although I'm only still friends with one girl from my sorority) and to have places to go/things to do.

I got out my junior year because I became involved in a lot more activities and didn't have time to keep up with all of them. My best friends were either not in my sorority, or they were but they were also involved in another activity of mine. It just wasn't worth it to keep membership up.

I feel like some people like to hate on Greek life for the stereotype of it. It varies from school to school. Down south, yes they take it more seriously. But you go to a school like mine where the Greeks don't live in their houses and it is a pretty laid back environment and far from exclusionary.

So anyone who wanted to could join? Everyone who rushed was invited to join?

A few points in defense of GLOs:

1. Different conferences of GLOs handle it differently, but in general, for NPC sororities (historically white sororities), every qualified woman is guaranteed a bid if she completes recruitment and maximizes her options by accepting every invitation she is given during recruitment and lists all of her "preffed" sororities on the card she signs at the end for recruitment.

Women may not be qualified because they are a grade risk, or because they don't have references, or because they don't have extra-curriculars. It is very rare that a qualified woman will be cross-cut by every sorority prior to the preference parties and every woman who goes to pref is guaranteed a bid on most campuses. It may not be a bid to the #1 house, but it's a bid somewhere.

2. Hazing is illegal everywhere, and even the worst hazing groups have worked very hard to eliminate it on a national level. It is not a common experience, by any means.

3. "Paying for my friends" - if that is what I did, it's money well spent. I have a network of women who I share common experiences and common values with in every state. I can move anywhere and if there is alumnae chapter of my GLO there, I have an instant network to help me get situated. I have a social group that supports charities that I believe in and which makes it easy for me to volunteer to help those charities. I have a way to network with younger women from my college and mentor them as they begin their careers. The GLO experience instituationalizes a number of activities that I value and makes them easy to do.

Anonymous wrote:I went to umcp and found it to be very exclusionary. I rushed and got cut from a few sororities based on a five minute conversation. How could they possibly decide to not include me based on that? It's very exclusionary and shallow in my opinion.

Possible reasons:

1. Your grades sucked.
or
2. Your extra-curriculars sucked.
or
3. You rushed at a school that really requires recs and you didn't get any before rushing.
or
4. You acted like a bitch.

The most likely reason is #1 or #3.

I don't recall ever encountering such a person. Those were went Greek love it, those who didn't are either ambivalent or bitterly opposed to agrees life. Pretty sharp lines.

Is there anyone here that participated in Greek life throughout college and now regrets it? If so, why?

Anonymous wrote:I don't hate it, but I don't need to pay money to get friends....

This is exactly what my sons say. They chose to attend a college that did away with fratsernities. They are somewhat mystified by their friends who attend other schools with frats and who have chosen to join put up with hazing.

Everyone I knew who was involved with greek life drank like a fish.

Nope.

Anonymous wrote:I went to umcp and found it to be very exclusionary. I rushed and got cut from a few sororities based on a five minute conversation. How could they possibly decide to not include me based on that? It's very exclusionary and shallow in my opinion.

It sounds like you hate Greek life because you were excluded, but you would have embraced it if you had been included.

I don't universally hate it. My sister was in a small sorority chapter at a small school and had an overall positive experience for her. The other girls seemed nice, but the ones I got to know well were heavy drinkers, and my sister became one after joining. She doesn't drink much now as an adult. Many of my friends in college joined sororities, and a number had some very negative experiences. I think that experiences will depend upon the particular fraternity or sorority that you choose to join. Overall, though, I think that some questionable behavior is normalized, and that members need to be the kind of kids who will preserve their own values and judgments to have a positive experience.

I was in Lambda Chi Alpha at Boston University, and it was probably the only fraternity that did not haze. I was only active for two years because a job kept me too busy my senior year. They were a great bunch of guys. The parties were fun. It was great to have a house to go a hang out on the weekends.

I went to a larger SEC school with a large Greek system, it has a 95% match rate, pledge classes are around a 100 women. So 95% of the students who rush are offered bids, the 5% who are not offered bids typically have poor grades (below a 2.75 from high school) or bad behavior (DUI, drug arrest, etc) I found living in DC that north eastern schools seem to have more exclusive rush / bid polices . I think Greek life can be a great way for someone to feel included in college rather than floating along by yourself.

At my college, it was like a club. No official houses to live in, but some of us lived in apts together. We mixed it up w frats, other sororities, gdis, rugby, football, swim team, whatever. I was shy and it was an easy way to make friends. I am not sure, but I think most who wanted to go greek could find a sorority or frat to join. It was so much fun, and I have friends I'm still in touch w after more than 20 years but we don't normally refer to each other as sisters......


My college was a state school of about 8000, so experiences can really vary.

Anonymous wrote:I personally hate Greek life because of the binge drinking and date raping, but I've never actually commented about it on DCUM before now.

This, and the cliqueishness/intentional exclusion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people do realize that binge drinking and date rapes occur in people who aren't in greek life correct?

I was in a sorority for 2 years. It was very casual at my school because no one was allowed to live in their houses. It was basically a way to make friends your freshman year (although I'm only still friends with one girl from my sorority) and to have places to go/things to do.

I got out my junior year because I became involved in a lot more activities and didn't have time to keep up with all of them. My best friends were either not in my sorority, or they were but they were also involved in another activity of mine. It just wasn't worth it to keep membership up.

I feel like some people like to hate on Greek life for the stereotype of it. It varies from school to school. Down south, yes they take it more seriously. But you go to a school like mine where the Greeks don't live in their houses and it is a pretty laid back environment and far from exclusionary.

So anyone who wanted to could join? Everyone who rushed was invited to join?

There are some fraternities/sororities/social groups like that. In other cases, there are space constraints. At my school there was generally enough space for everyone across all of the houses. The bid matching system did seem a little complicated, but it generally worked out.