HR Professional here.

1. I have personally worked at places in DC that offer extremely generous leave benefits (usually on the order of 5 weeks your first year, though the time accrued per year doesn't increase over the years as it does elsewhere). These are usually at lower-paying nonprofits, and it does seem that OP is in a low-paying job if she was essentially doing her job as a temp. Although I would not personally put my money with a credit union that offered these ridiculous benefits to low-wage employees on my dime (as an "investor"), I suppose it's possible.

2. OP is not eligible for FMLA and would either have to take unpaid leave or be fired/resign upon the birth of her child. Sounds like she is not a good enough employee for the organization to offer unpaid leave with a temp covering her position until such time as she could return. Since we know they hire temps to do similar work, this is a red flag that they do not like her at this point enough to keep her on board. Since training someone new is a considerable expense at most organizations, I would infer that this means that PP who said it looks like her manager is not thrilled with her is right and she is not wanted.

3. Since OP must either be fired or resign, she was probably told by HR that she would not be eligible for benefits from the time of resignation/termination. And, since she wants to take "vacation" at the end of her time there, I am sure HR has a policy that, in the case of someone using accrued time before termination/resignation, they must terminate/resign and then get the leave buyout. This is common.

4. Most organizations will not pay for your benefits even on approved continuous unpaid leave like FMLA unless you have a certain number of paid leave or work days per month. Otherwise, it's common for women to have to pay for part or all of their benefits while on FMLA. And, if you resign at the end of your FMLA, you will most certainly have to pay for your own benefits if your employer has this type of policy (I know of women who go back to work for a month after FMLA and THEN quit, so they don't have to pay back their benefits during FMLA, since they didn't resign during/right after the leave).

5. OP, I can see why you were a temp for so long and why you must resign now. You attitude is astounding. I have a child and would never have tried to "game" my employer the way you are. And yes, I tried for that child for two years -- welcome to DC. You are not special.

I suspect HR was quite clear on what the rules were (and no one ever accumulates 6 weeks of vacation in the first year of work - two weeks? Maybe but only after serving a requisite no. of months). Even in the very finest law firms I worked in, professionals got two weeks only after serving a full year. Never six weeks. OP's story just doesn't hang together. OP wants to have her cake but eat it too. If I were management, I would want to show her the door and fast. I don't like employees who try to buck the system. For awhile I believed that an HR rep. may have told her incorrect information By page 4 I am starting to think she is actively misrepresenting that initial meeting. I hope it is not too late to transfer her and the baby to husband's policy. Cobra is fine but VERY expensive and of course, ends.

OP,

Welcome to the culture at most workplaces!

All these people have excoriated you because they think everyone's first loyalty should be to their job (also many of them cannot read). And in many places, if you want to keep your job and advance your career, they are right, unfortunately.

I'm sorry that HR has treated you so badly. Personally I would go up and ASK them why they changed their minds. I would actually tell them, very calmly, that I had made plans based on their first recommendations and that now I have to scramble to change plans, and that I feel I have been treated unfairly. It will make them feel uncomfortable, which is the least they deserve and the most you can do to them.

8:56 has it right.

Yes, OP, a mother can put the needs of her baby before those of her coworkers, but that isn't what you're doing. You just don't want to work. You have a job with six weeks of paid vacation in your first year. You want to take that, then resign, get COBRA benefits, and then, because you are so loved everyone will hire you back when you may feel like working again, maybe in December.

Surely, this is taking advantage of your company's policies and I don't blame them at all for calling you on it.

There are thousands of qualified individuals without your sense of entitlement who can do your job. Your company, a credit union, sees this.

Good thing you resigned now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole story is so strange. What woman wouldn't want to keep this job with amazing benefits?

She doesn't need to. She can keep quitting and because she is so wonderful they will rehire her without any issues.

Bingo! Not! OP and her husband who completely agrees with her is crazy. Good luck with the baby. Seriously, good luck.

Anonymous wrote:This whole story is so strange. What woman wouldn't want to keep this job with amazing benefits?

She doesn't need to. She can keep quitting and because she is so wonderful they will rehire her without any issues.

This whole story is so strange. What woman wouldn't want to keep this job with amazing benefits?

In essence OP, you are asking your employer to keep paying your HC in August even though you do not intend to return to work. Why should your employer do that? They figured out your scheme and called you on it.

Meanwhile, I would figure out how you are going to get childbirth etc covered if you are losing health insurance.

As a former manager, I'd like to add a different perspective to this conversation.

1. OP, you seem to think your managers "love" you. Trust me, there is no way HR would be messing with you without their approval. Whatever they say to your face, managers (good ones anyway) know how to protect their employees. And in a case like this, where we are talking about a decision with some discretion, your managers will have a lot of say about the outcome.

2. Your problem is you. Some people have picked up on signs of entitlement. I'd like to phrase it another way. You have said that you simply don't care about your colleagues or the inconvenience to them, etc. <b>That you don't seem to care how your leave will affect your employer and colleagues IS your problem.</B> This doesn't mean your baby is not important, but in the real world when you want someone to do you a favor you don't sh*t on them first. Your career is going a lot further in the long run if you learn this lesson now. So, how have you tried to make this a win-win? Have you offered to do anything at all to help them manage the impact of your vacation and pregnancy leave (e.g., work from home, do half-time, train your replacement, etc.)? In four pages of posts I don't see anything here that shows that you have shown this employer any consideration. Have you even told them that you understand the strain this is going to put on them? Or has it been all me and my baby, like you have been here?

3. Your apparent willingness to "just resign" and your lack of interest in the job would make me doubt that you are someone to invest in and as your manager, I would not fight for you. Why should anyone go out of their way for you? You seem to have a very casual attitude about your work. In this economy there are ten people behind you who don't have that attitude. No matter how valuable you think you are, no one is replaceable.

Personally, I think you've played this whole thing all wrong from the start and that you've thrown away a lot of goodwill. If they hired you permanently after two years of temping they must have liked you at some point. Your attitude since then has surely not given them any faith in you. Trust, once lost, is very hard to restore.

In your shows I would ask for a meeting with HR and your managers. In that meeting I would come entirely clean about my bad attitude and lack of consideration. Just tell them you've had the pregnancy crazies. Then tell them how much you enjoy your job and how much more you have to offer them as an employee. (Now would be a good time to unveil any ideas you have on how you could do your job better or improve overall productivity.) Then tell them that you are available to work in August and September, but that there are certain dates when you have family here that you would like to have off if they can make it work. Then you have to hope they are kind people who are willing to give you a break despite you having given them every reason not to.

If that doesn't work I'd say you screwed the pooch. Resign and accept it. (Good luck with those references!) You may be better off as a SAHM anyway. It doesn't sound like you're going to want to work outside of the home after the baby is born anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. Yes, you are correct. Each pay period I receive just over a day of leave. It's a lot, but it's true. The numbers are correct because I've met with HR three times including twice in the last two weeks. I've also met with my manger several times regarding my leave because they were trying to stretch it out so I could be eligible for FMLA. I'm not making these numbers up. As I said before I met with HR in May and they calculated that I could take all of August off. If I included my sick leave I could take all of August and half of September off. I know the numbers are crazy and my husband can't believe it either. People at my work take off for weeks at a time on vacation. In fact one women too four months off before giving birth. Yes, that's four months early. So, as odd as it is I have the days.

Anyway, I've been discussing the situation with my family and I've decided to resign now. Since HR and management knows I have to resign regardless I may as well resign now and get paid for my accumulated leave (which is a lot by the way - a lot!). I'll sign up for COBRA (which HR told me yesterday they would do). This way I get August off as planned and I don't have to worry about insurance as I'll have COBRA for the next few months. My husband already has other insurance set up for after the baby is born.

Thanks for all the input, even though some were a bit mean and really unnecessary. I think some of you work in tough environments I guess. I have never seen a pregnant woman work until she was due - never. And I've known at least 7-8 women who have given birth in the last two years. And I could never see myself being mad at a person who was expecting a baby to taking leave. I mean, they are pregnant. You would expect them to take leave. All the replies about you would resent them, that's just mean and ill will from you. Sorry, but you people need to be nicer stop being so selfish. A mother has a right to put her family and baby before her co-workers.

Again, thanks all for the responses.

This is what I was going to suggest. Just resign now, get the payout of your accrued leave (so, in essence, you'll be getting paid for August) and get COBRA coverage for insurance (if you cannot get on the baby's father's insurance).

Just as a side anecdote, I worked for a large consulting company that tried to get my coworker to cancel/postpone his honeymoon! He'd gotten approval for it months in advance. He refused and ended up resigning not long after that. Vacations get "unapproved" all the time. Shrug.

Congrats on the baby.

Anonymous wrote:So you have 6 weeks of accrued vacation and you're 2 months shy of FMLA? Why not work until you have your baby, then take your 6 weeks of leave, come back to work for two weeks then take unpaid leave for the remaining portion of FMLA which should be 4 weeks. I'm not sure if this would work or if HR would go for it but it makes a lot more sense to me than taking off a month before your baby is born, resigning, and fe-applying.

Because she doesn't care about keeping the job. Sounds like they don't want her to come back anyway, and sounds like she is not interested in a "career", doubtful she'd go back to work full time anyway.

So you have 6 weeks of accrued vacation and you're 2 months shy of FMLA? Why not work until you have your baby, then take your 6 weeks of leave, come back to work for two weeks then take unpaid leave for the remaining portion of FMLA which should be 4 weeks. I'm not sure if this would work or if HR would go for it but it makes a lot more sense to me than taking off a month before your baby is born, resigning, and fe-applying.

I've been with the same company for over 20 years and if I told them I was going to take august off I am sure they would say have a nice life....if I told them in early July that I wanted to take a week off or even two in August, no problem.

if you were a temp and been in your current position full time for only 10 mos why are you not on your DH's insurance plan?

sorry, this seems crazy and inconsiderate. I think your plan is totally outlandish and unprofessional. someone in HR is clearly sick of dealing with you. you seem obsessed. most companies have a policy regarding vacation - perhaps it is written somewhere that you cannot take it all at once.

Two words OP: Lean In.