How do you convince DH to have separate accounts? I've always wanted this - he sees it as 'the ultimate lack of trust'

You never know when the person you think you know better than anyone on earth will do something you never thought they could possibly do.

As much as I hate Donald Trump (and I really, really do), he is right about one thing: Cash is king.

Anonymous wrote:Sexist as hell OP. I make more than my DH. You should be asking if the lower earning spouse has his or her own account. In our marriage, we have only joint accounts.

Agree with this. We only have joint accounts (expect for 401ks/IRAs) but I make plenty of money so can certainly more than support myself if necessary. That's one of the reasons I would never consider not working.

Anonymous wrote:We have our own accounts and a joint one. The joint is for all of our bills and my own account is for my fun money, safety net, anything I want to buy and I don't have to answer to anyone, it keeps our relationship sane. I have so many friends who argue about the trivial things like if their husband overspend on lunch...REALLY?? topics like these are not worth it at all to me.

P.S. he has his own account too and it's not a secret or private. He knows I have mine and I know he has his and we both know how much money goes into each account. He does whatever he wants with it and I don't need to see the bills bc I trust him. Just like if I were to buy a pair of shoes or an expansive purse, he would compliment it and not ask, how much did you spend on that.

We have our own accounts and a joint one. The joint is for all of our bills and my own account is for my fun money, safety net, anything I want to buy and I don't have to answer to anyone, it keeps our relationship sane. I have so many friends who argue about the trivial things like if their husband overspend on lunch...REALLY?? topics like these are not worth it at all to me.

Anonymous wrote:

AroundTheBlock wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes ladies this is 2013 and the divorce rate is about 50% (I have been married for 31 years and have had my own account since I got married -- that is why I'm still married). OP -- money from inheritance does not need to be shared in a divorce. That is why you want separate $.

For all the ladies that say it's okay to have a personal account. Does this mean it's okay for the husband to have a private account behind his wife's back?

Why does it have to be a secret?

+1

Not a secret, just individual resources.

I inherited $150K from my mother when she died a few years ago and it remains in an account in my sole name. She left it to me, not DH and me, and I will spend it as I (not us) see fit. DH understands. He also understands that when his parents pass away, whatever they leave him is his, not ours.

AroundTheBlock wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes ladies this is 2013 and the divorce rate is about 50% (I have been married for 31 years and have had my own account since I got married -- that is why I'm still married). OP -- money from inheritance does not need to be shared in a divorce. That is why you want separate $.

For all the ladies that say it's okay to have a personal account. Does this mean it's okay for the husband to have a private account behind his wife's back?

Around the block is a fool. Any woman without her own stash is an idiot.

AroundTheBlock wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes ladies this is 2013 and the divorce rate is about 50% (I have been married for 31 years and have had my own account since I got married -- that is why I'm still married). OP -- money from inheritance does not need to be shared in a divorce. That is why you want separate $.

For all the ladies that say it's okay to have a personal account. Does this mean it's okay for the husband to have a private account behind his wife's back?

Why does it have to be a secret?

Yes absolutely. We di "his, mine, and ours" plus everything we had individually before marriage stayed that way.

My SIL recently confided to me she has a secret account with $150k in it. I still haven't taken my jaw off the floor. What do I know but all I could think was how they will be getting divorced one day.

Yes of course pp. I'm the pp to you. My DH and I have a joint account for our mortgage and other expenses. We each put our leftover money into our personal accounts.

Anonymous wrote:Yes ladies this is 2013 and the divorce rate is about 50% (I have been married for 31 years and have had my own account since I got married -- that is why I'm still married). OP -- money from inheritance does not need to be shared in a divorce. That is why you want separate $.

For all the ladies that say it's okay to have a personal account. Does this mean it's okay for the husband to have a private account behind his wife's back?

Yes ladies this is 2013 and the divorce rate is about 50% (I have been married for 31 years and have had my own account since I got married -- that is why I'm still married). OP -- money from inheritance does not need to be shared in a divorce. That is why you want separate $.

DH and I have separate bank accounts and one joint account. The joint account gets our tax returns and we use it for daycare and vacations. our paychecks go into our personal accounts, but the bills also come out of those accounts. So technically, yes, I have my own account, but there's not a lot in there since most of my income goes straight to daycare and household bills.

Also, I find it interesting that your mom is telling you to have your own account "in case something happens". This means:

1. You mother does not have a healthy relationship with your father or men in general.

2. Has been cheated in terms of trust or money before.

3. She does not like or trust your husband.

Heck, my wife's parents freaking LOVE me. They would give money gifts to me directly instead of their daughter because they know I'm financially smart and responsible.