I would like to thank OP for making me look laid back about food.

Anonymous wrote:How about doing some kind of simple meat and luxurious side dishes?

Even burgers, and you can make fancy condiments, plus salads and stuff. Then he can be in charge of the meat, and even if it's inedible you've got other things to go with.

Planning on grilled apricots when you're handing them over to someone who can't handle chicken seems overly optimistic.

I like this approach, coupled with the "hey, Fred, that chicken looks done enough for me. Can you take some off for those who don't like the char?"

Why on earth is this your battle and not your husband's? It's his dad, and his issue with the intolerance for overcooked meat, so why doesn't he just say something to his dad or suck it up - those are the only two options I see. Passive aggressively pushing his wife to fight his battles for him is not productive. Was he always this much of a ninny?

OP, wish I had time to read the whole thread. It's a good one! And maybe you've already moved on, since it's been a couple of weeks later, but a couple of ideas:

1. How about you do the meat in the kitchen and entrust your FIL with grilling the sides? It's harder to screw up grilled vegetables. That will give your FIL his happy grilling experience and satisfy your DH's palate.

2. Research ways to inoculate your grilled food from bad grilling technique. I'm thinking of things like partly precooking chicken so that the inside is actually done well FIL sees the char on the outside. I'm sure there are many other ideas. Surely there are cookbooks and websites devoted to the novice griller that will offer some good tips.

3. I love your attitude toward and enthusiasm for good food and your kind feelings toward your FIL. You seem to think of your meals as a gift to the diners. Since you already put so much thought into them, think of each meal as needing a component gift to each member of the family. Something FIL can grill. Something DH will find edible. Something MIL will find sufficiently sophisticated, etc. Construct the menu with that in mind. This seems like the kind of challenge that for you would not be a burden but a fun project. So embrace it!

Happy summer!

Anonymous wrote:Put less effort into the marinades, etc for the meat and let him BBQ. Save the fancy stuff for another time. (Or for the side dishes and desserts you have when they visit.)

This. Let him cook the grill stuff, don't put much effort into preparing it, and always have alternatives and salads and stuff so people can fill up on that.

OP, I agree with people who say you are making this way more complicated than it needs to be. Also, it is insane to ban them from coming over because FIL overcooked the chicken. WTF?

If you are going to continue to insist on grilling when they come over and then complaining that FIL ruined your food, I agree with the PP who said to talk to him about your goals and recipes.

Get a gadget for him to use when he comes over, like a wireless meat thermometer -- the one that comes with a portable device so you can see the temp of the meat where ever you are. Then simply tell him at what temperature to take the meat off the grill.

I call troll. No aspiring chef is going to substitute brie for goat cheese in a recipe.

Anonymous wrote:Chill out and let him cook.

WHY? I really, truly don't get this. Even if OP didn't spend hours preparing the food, she and her husband are likely paying for it. Are you all really saying that everyone in attendance should suffer crappy food JUST so FIL doesn't get upset? Why can't they just say DH wants to grill, without telling FIL that it's because FIL is a crappy cook? And why does everyone have to make a sacrifice to protect this guy's ego? THIS is what builds entitlement...good grief.

OP, TAKE BACK THE TONGS!

Ladies and gentlemen, I do believe this is a Bre Van De Camp imposter...

Anonymous wrote:Chill out and let him cook.

+1. This is not worth harming in law relations over.

As he likes to grill so much, why don't you share with him your ambition to become a grill master this summer. Let him know that you're trying new recipes and how much time you've spent prepping. Share with him what the recipe says about how long and how it should be grilled and at what temperature. Share with him things like "the recipe says you need to be careful not to cook it too long or it may get too dry" Tell him "I marinaded these for X hours and apparently we have to be careful to make sure that they only cook for the exact right time or they won't taste good. Let's use the thermometer this time".

If this doesn't work, feel free to remark during your next meal, "The chicken tastes pretty good, but it's a little dry/charred/whatever. We can cut the cooking time a little next time".

Fund a grilling/cooking class FIL AND DH can go to to together .. Give as a gift
Bonding experience... That way an objective 3 rd party is telling him what to do.
Honestly I in no way find it nice or compassionate to allow someone to continuously do something incorrectly and/or to EVERYONE's dislike and not say something.
I would be devastated if folks let me make my chili for 20 yrs and never bothered to tell me they hate it.
What a waste of my time AND my chili.

For what it's worth, my husband is with your DH--when I read him the part about you saying your FIL would refuse to cook if confronted, my DH was like, "There! Problem solved!"

Use a timer?

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this post is for real, but if so you have a lot more to worry about than overcooked chicken.

I agree. There are way too many details for this to be legitimate.