You asked for a favor - she moved in - she felt like she had the power to criticize. I'm guessing you know your Mom well, but believed the trade-off was worth it to get the free help. This will always be the case ~ if you have not asked something from her it would have been different - you could say, "I'm not interested in your opinion on this" and insisted on not discussing it. BUT when you ask of others - you are inviting their "help" (often in the form of helpful comments - not!)

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. I do need to ignore her. I am realizing that her issue stems from unhappiness in another part of her life. I just wish it didn't affect me so much. I just want my mom to be proud of the hard work I do and to be happy. I thought if she lived with me that she'd be happy and we'd have a blast together. I now don't think that she will ever be happy. Even when I do everything I can to minimize her frustration, she still finds something to be dissatisfied about. That's not the mom I remember. A woman who just wants to tell me how I'm making her miserable.

Yeah, but at least now you can face life as it is. I wished for a better mother than the one I had (and still wish, sometimes) but had to face reality--I have a self-absorbed, narcissist of a mother who will never find anything kind to say about me or my family and is not interested in a relationship with my kids. I had to grieve the mother I never had and find nurturing mothers elsewhere--in friends, aunts, and in myself.

My mom is like this also - and was a SAH parent with myself and my sister, during that time, my sister and I were not her playmates and she spent her days cleaning, cooking and talking to friends on the phone. I stayed at home for a few years and she was floored that I spent so much TIME with my children. She would comment on the house, and I would kick back with the things I would rather be doing. She was always welcome to help and she finally shut up when she realized she was getting nowhere with me. I work now and have help and when my mom comes to visit, yes, she still 'notices' how I haven't had time to clean my baseboards but the bottom line is this: my house is clean enough. Clean enough is something you will need to live with. You have a tiny baby and your mom should be supportive of you. Ignore the stuff you don't like and try to see the positives of having her there to be with you and your child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I see a dirty or cluttered house I judge. I don't care how busy a peron is there is no excuse but laziness. It doesn't take long to clean a house unless you let things completely go in which case it takes forever.

I edit people like this right out of my life.

+1

+2

Thanks. I do need to ignore her. I am realizing that her issue stems from unhappiness in another part of her life. I just wish it didn't affect me so much. I just want my mom to be proud of the hard work I do and to be happy. I thought if she lived with me that she'd be happy and we'd have a blast together. I now don't think that she will ever be happy. Even when I do everything I can to minimize her frustration, she still finds something to be dissatisfied about. That's not the mom I remember. A woman who just wants to tell me how I'm making her miserable.

Just try to ignore her. You shouldn't be expected to doit all! Life is too short to worry about a couple of pots.