good analysis. 16:42. ita.

OP give some money to charity. Like at least $1,000. You need to redeem yourself.

OP is the worst type of person on this planet.

Anonymous wrote:Was your DH still married to his first wife when you met him? Did the fact that he has a big income factor into your attraction for him? Did you buy a beautiful, big house, or is part of the problem that you are sacrificing so much to barely make ends meet while living in an imperfect home?

This.

I sense a honey trap or possibly a gold digger in the OP. First, there is too much enthusiasm and too many exclamation points associated with her discussion of the end CS for DH's children from the first marriage(!)

OP also sets up the premise so that we feel great sympathy that her poor, dear children cannot even afford to get haircuts, ice cream, or maybe even a preschool education because DH needs to pay his older children's CS and college tuition (DH's older children are also the supposed reason why the $350K rainy-day fund cannot be touched). OP wonders as well, why financial support would ever continue for DH's older children outside of college (will she feel this same way when her own little ones want to attend graduate school, help with a wedding, a car, a down payment on a house?).

Also, OP now has a kindergartener (age 5-6), and DH's older children are finishing college (age 22) and about to start college (age 18), suggesting that the children from the first marriage were fairly young (12, 16) at the time of DH's remarriage.

It is clear from all of OP's posts that DH earns a good income as well.

I say this to OP -- if you married DH, then you married his children and his obligations to them -- for better (mostly in your case -- as he is wealthy), and for worse.

Was your DH still married to his first wife when you met him? Did the fact that he has a big income factor into your attraction for him? Did you buy a beautiful, big house, or is part of the problem that you are sacrificing so much to barely make ends meet while living in an imperfect home?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok. Wait.

You have $350 in emergency funds. Stock options just sitting there (losing value every day, btw). And you over fund retirement.

You do what financial planners call "bucketing." You designate buckets for money and you are loathe to touch them, even when it means not getting your kids ice cream or haircuts.

Tomorrow, pull $36k out of the emergency fund and put it into your checking account. Walla. Things don't feel so tight anymore. And you still have $314k just in case.

Walla??? Do you mean "voila"?

It is sarcastic and a perfect use for this thread.

The inability for OP to see a solution to her problem scares me. As does not getting the kids hair cuts.

Anonymous wrote:For some reason, I really hate the OP.

How about the poster whose DH made $500k a year and she wanted to know if she could afford to SAH. LOL!!!

For some reason, I really hate the OP.

Regardless of the insanity of deciding you can't afford ice cream and haircuts when you have that much money lying around, I don't understand why you have $350K in an emergency fund -- that is outrageous. You should only have about 6-8 months of expenses in a liquid emergency fund that isn't earning much, if any interest. Maybe a year's worth if you are the anxious type or if you have an unstable job. By my calculations, you say it takes about 10K a month to run your house and pay CS. That means 60-80K max should be in your emergency fund.

The rest should be invested in a mutual fund or put somewhere where it can be working for you.

You really should read up on basic finance. I can't for the life of me understand how you came up with these wacky ideas about money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh for heaven's sake. If you have $350K in emergency savings and are saving as much as you indicate for retirement and college, you do not have an actual financial problem. Was this just a veiled brag?

I know, right?! OP, I thought you meant actual financial trouble, like rotating which bills you pay late because you don't have enough money to pay them all on time. True poverty is not having any other options. If I had $350K in an emergency fund, I would sleep so much better at night.

+1

I can't imagine not getting haircuts but having $350,000 just sitting there. Even in the most basic savings account, interest alone will pay for haircuts and ice cream. We have a *very* tight budget but my kids still get ice cream- sometimes from the grocery store and sometimes with a coupon from the ice cream shop.

Oh the DCUM First World Problems.

To the OP- if you're paying $5,000 in cs and running your house at bare bones on $5,000/month...consider yourself one lucky girl

Anonymous wrote:you chose to put in the amount of 1500 for extra retirement savings and 1250 for college savings so obviously the amounts are slightly to high. So reduce these amounts so that you can buy ice cream. Just like you didn't chose the amounts of 2000 and 1800 because its too high the same concept applies. If you need extra cash for incidentals then reduce by 10%.

Yes you are correct. After "talking" it out, I see that that is the problem. I will make the necessary reductions for next month.

you chose to put in the amount of 1500 for extra retirement savings and 1250 for college savings so obviously the amounts are slightly to high. So reduce these amounts so that you can buy ice cream. Just like you didn't chose the amounts of 2000 and 1800 because its too high the same concept applies. If you need extra cash for incidentals then reduce by 10%.

OP, do not stop funding the retirement accounts. I would not put as much into the younger children's college funds (if any, if it would help you out or the next two years). when cash flow is better, you can increase it. Do not touch the stock options if you don't really need to. And 10-20k from emergency funds to make you stop worrying about money sounds like a bargain to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here---let's say I withdraw from the savings account. And then let's say DH loses his job. How does CS get paid? I certainly can't cover that from my income and cover all of our household expenses. That to me would be a true emergency. And in the given economy, there is no guarantee that anyone can find a job in 6 months. So yes, the money is sitting there. But it's not something I want to touch.

In looking through the helpful posts, some people suggested I trim down on the current investments. This is something that I don't want to do, but I can wrap my brain around doing so for the next 2 years. Moving money from investment bucket to the use today bucket would fix my cash flow issue.

How much in total are your monthly expenses, including CS?

She gets $5k and it costs me $5k a month to run our house at the basic level.