Anonymous
Post 05/07/2013 11:18     Subject: Bullying at NCS
I'm with PP. One would think that a clear set of community standards and a small student-teacher ratio could translate into more intervention. One can't force someone to be friends with someone else or get ahead of real sneakiness; but you can let a person whose being ridiculed feel valued and defended, and let would-be bullies know that the behavior is unadult and unlikely to get them what they want in life.
Anonymous
Post 05/07/2013 10:08     Subject: Bullying at NCS
Anonymous wrote:I no that most public school find their hands tied when non physical issues between girls arise. With out physical scars or witnesses they can't do much to punish a girl for here say.

Isn't this one of the reasons why parents choose private schools? Private schools have private rules and codes of conduct and can more easily tackle these issues. Privates, that often have long waiting lists, can very easily warn the problem student/ family and expell the child if nothing happens.


I know a few parents that told me they left public because of bullying. I think my DD's school (not NCS) handles it well but I am curious how many they actually expel.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2013 23:25     Subject: Bullying at NCS
I no that most public school find their hands tied when non physical issues between girls arise. With out physical scars or witnesses they can't do much to punish a girl for here say.

Isn't this one of the reasons why parents choose private schools? Private schools have private rules and codes of conduct and can more easily tackle these issues. Privates, that often have long waiting lists, can very easily warn the problem student/ family and expell the child if nothing happens.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2013 23:17     Subject: Bullying at NCS
Yes, the problem exists.
In general, girls can be very mean and cruel. Fueling his joys rumors about other girls being sexually active in Every way possible- to cause drama and encourage others to steer clear of such "trash"

This happened when I was in school, in the dark ages but to a lesser extent and it didn't start until about grade ten, when we were a bit better prepared to handle it.

Now, this variety of rumor begins in grade 6.
Nothing like a 12 year old hearing a rumor that she enjoys oral sex with multiple boys.
Pure evil.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2013 23:02     Subject: Re:Bullying at NCS
I think it is very important to empower your child and let them know mean girls and bullies have self esteem issues and are just trying to make you feel worse so they feel better. Bullies have issues too. Get a core group of girls and focus on them. True friends know the bullies. Teachers know them too. At my daughter's school it is addressed quickly. I am shocked NCS who has a waiting list wouldn't just handle this better.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2013 22:34     Subject: Bullying at NCS
Anonymous wrote:...I have no trouble using the word bully when I see it in whatever form....zero tolerance. I also would not hesitate to seek bully out my self......I would tell them I knew their mother, had lunch with her the other day...etc...these are girls. I heard a snarky remark being made just the other day by one of my daughter's classmates and I just turned to her and said, "nice" ...with enough sarcasm to let her know, exactly my point. These are bright girls, and they do get it...so do not hesitate to give it right back....
As for relentless bullying or harassment in severe form, did you go to the headmistress? Did you go to the girls parents? I would have. I would make sure if it continues the culprit expelled. This can be dealt with.


If you call a snarky remark bullying you are diminishing the victimization of actual bullies. And I hate to say it but there's some real distortion with this idea that someone who does one mean thing to your daughter, or says snarky things, is a bully. I'm the PP and i think this attitude contributes to the problem. How are they going to take actual bullying seriously when parents like you scream bully for the slightest thing.
'
Honestly, your posts reveal a serious sense of entitlement that I am happy we no longer deal with at NCS. If you are going to go roaring to the headmistress because someone said something mean to your daughter, and call it bullying, its no wonder the administration blocks parents out.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2013 21:22     Subject: Bullying at NCS
Hazing......
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2013 21:14     Subject: Bullying at NCS
Does this go on at Madeira?
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2013 20:10     Subject: Bullying at NCS
...I have no trouble using the word bully when I see it in whatever form....zero tolerance. I also would not hesitate to seek bully out my self......I would tell them I knew their mother, had lunch with her the other day...etc...these are girls. I heard a snarky remark being made just the other day by one of my daughter's classmates and I just turned to her and said, "nice" ...with enough sarcasm to let her know, exactly my point. These are bright girls, and they do get it...so do not hesitate to give it right back....
As for relentless bullying or harassment in severe form, did you go to the headmistress? Did you go to the girls parents? I would have. I would make sure if it continues the culprit expelled. This can be dealt with.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2013 19:29     Subject: Bullying at NCS
Anonymous wrote:Without revealing too much it would be great if some people could relay some incidents of bullying? I will start, my daughter saw a piece of paper where a girl had written something disparaging about my daughter for all to see. I called school and the bully was given a talking to. The school felt this had to be done carefully lest the bully continue the behavior. It is my feeling the girl, just jealous...from a different back round and complicated family situation. Often the bully has problems and is insecure...needs attention. I told school that we did not have time nor tolerance for the bullying...it would interfere with my daughter's ability to get her work done and it just needed to STOP. I would not hesitate to pick up the phone myself and would have if school did not immediately address. Bully never bullied my daughter again.


I'm a PP whose DD experienced quite a bit of meanness at NCS but I hesitate to use the word "bullying" in general. It really describes relentless, ongoing behavior from a child who exerting power over the victim. What happened to your DD was mean, but I wouldn't call it bullying. We have to be careful about overusing the word and depriving it of meaning. And frankly what you describe, though wrong, pales with some of the other stuff that has gone on. My DD suffered ongoing verbal attacks from another girl, often in front of supposed friends who never spoke up, never did anything to support her. She ended up becoming socially isolated. The school treated it like an issue of my DD's fragility.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2013 19:21     Subject: Bullying at NCS
Without revealing too much it would be great if some people could relay some incidents of bullying? I will start, my daughter saw a piece of paper where a girl had written something disparaging about my daughter for all to see. I called school and the bully was given a talking to. The school felt this had to be done carefully lest the bully continue the behavior. It is my feeling the girl, just jealous...from a different back round and complicated family situation. Often the bully has problems and is insecure...needs attention. I told school that we did not have time nor tolerance for the bullying...it would interfere with my daughter's ability to get her work done and it just needed to STOP. I would not hesitate to pick up the phone myself and would have if school did not immediately address. Bully never bullied my daughter again.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2013 17:46     Subject: Bullying at NCS
The bullying profile seems to revolve . I don't see a pattern, although the quiet, unathletic types are usually in the mix.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2013 17:37     Subject: Bullying at NCS
Is there any typical type of girl that is bullied? I would want to fight back in some way.....
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2013 16:56     Subject: Bullying at NCS
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hmmm. Then why aren't there similarly repetitive threads regarding Stone Ridge, Visitation or Holton? Please stop minimizing the problem. It does exist. I have a senior at NCS.


I'm not minimizing the problem. I am just saying that it is a problem in lots of schools, including public schools, around here.

And for some reason, NCS is the biggest target on this board. Haven't you followed Holton Mom on here?


Who is Holton Mom?


NP. Holton Mom would never, ever say anything negative about Holton, which is the most perfect school ever. I can't imagine her admitting to a bullying problem at Holton.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2013 16:22     Subject: Re:Bullying at NCS
Anonymous wrote:I am wondering... 2 kids from my DCs class who had been suspended for bullying last year were accepted at a Big 3 school for HS. Do school's pass this kind of info along? Is there such a thing as a "permanent record"? Or do school's say they had their punishment and now the record is wiped clean? These weren't stellar students, one was an athlete. I guess I'm just wondering how much school's care about this kind of thing.


It is 100% on record. Not sure what schools ask for that record.