Anonymous wrote:Those with separate accounts have control issues or can't agree on anything; they are surely destined for divorce......

No. I am one of those with only joint accounts and even I can see the benefits of having separate accounts for some couples. Stop projecting.

Anonymous wrote:Those with separate accounts have control issues or can't agree on anything; they are surely destined for divorce......

Uh, wrong. That is just a simplistic view of marriage. Just because you're married doesn't mean you have to give up all your independence. DH and I have a joint account from which we pay common expenses. That is also what both of our take home pay goes into. But we each get separate "allowances" so we don't have to run everything by each other. We are generally on the same page with most things, but it's important to both of us to also be able to do things on our own. DH likes to take an occasional trip to Atlantic City and gamble. He can drop $1000 on that trip and it wouldn't bother me because he is using his spending money -- that is his form of entertainment. But it would bother me if it were coming out of our joint account because to me gambling is a frivolous activity and I could think of better ways to spend the money. I, on the other hand, like to pamper myself with regular massages, which DH would find frivolous. But as long as I'm using my spending money, he doesn't care.

Not all marriages work the same way. It all depends on your financial situation and your outlook on how a marriage should be. But to say that people who have separate accounts have control issues and are destined for divorce, is just plain ignorant.

Those with separate accounts have control issues or can't agree on anything; they are surely destined for divorce......

Joint, because we have been married a long time.

Joint accounts. We are married, we are a team, and never saw the point in having "his money" and "her money". It's worked because neither of us are big spenders, and we do consult one another for large purchases.

It has transitioned over time. We started out with one joint savings for the wedding that transitioned to major household expenses. We had our own separate accounts and we divided up the bills. Just the way things worked out, I already was a homeowner so I pay the mortgage and also childcare - I am very disorganized so only paying two bills due the same day each month works better for me. DH pays everything else including the main credit card bill.

A few years after we had kids we added each other to the accounts so technically they are all joint accounts but we still treat them separate. If I had to make sure I told DH everything I spent in order to balance the checkbook etc. we wouldn't have lasted 10 years. He is very "precise" and I am not. It also feels more adult that we both have financial responsibilities and one person did not take everything over when we got married. We have similar spending habits so it isn't a matter of one person being a big spender - it is more about different bookkeeping habits and spreading out the responsibility.

Joint. His is mine, and mine is mine - just kidding.

Same as 12:20 and we NEVER argue about $. We have been married 12 years and have two kids.

Both. Paychecks go into our personal accounts, and we both contribute a set amount to a joint account that we use for vacations and misc stuff. I felt like if we really combined our money, I would feel guilty every time I bought something for myself. We have a system that works for us pretty well so we'll probably leave it this way until we need to change it.

We do both. We have a budget and figure out what each of us needs to contribute and that amount is direct deposited into a joint checking for bills. Tax return money is deposited into a savings account and we use that for home repairs, vacations and other misc expenses. We have been doing this for about 8 years and we never fight over money. We each pay our own credit cards (monthly) and the rest goes into savings.

"I can go shopping when I want and not have to ask permission."

Ditto. DH's father checks the shopping bags when DH's mother returns from the mall. Ugh.

Joint accounts. I took over DH's bill-paying when we were dating because he would invariably forget to pay one or pay one twice due to his disorganization. We also have several accounts which I draw from to pay larger bills (insurance, prop taxes, tuition, etc.) so it is better to have everything joint to maximize cash flow. We trust each other completely and discuss any large purchase (500 or more) and all investments. Otherwise, we do not monitor each other's personal spending since we have always earmarked funds for important items and lived below our means.

Both. We're engaged but we sat down and made a plan for how we will divide and save money. Joint checking for bills, Joint savings and then we have separate retirement, checking, investments and savings that we will put in the same amount each month to do with as we want.

Joint only. We're young, and have been married a year and half, but we switched from separate to joint a few months before when I moved to DC to start a job. He already had been living here in a room share until I found a job in the area, and to pay the rent for an apartment easier we opened a joint account. Prior to that, I would have to write a check out to help him cover the remainder of his room share rent. When we were dating in college back in South Carolina, it was a lot easier to deal with having separate accounts since the rent and other expenses were dirt cheap compared to here and one account could easily cover it.

We each have our own logins to our checking account, and have a shared account on Mint to check on all of our loans, so we're pretty open with each other.

Anonymous wrote:Both, because I use a check register, and my husband does not. And if we shared an account it would way too stressful given how we manage things administratively. We also have both joint and separate credit cards, although we are authorized users on all.

I had this question when we got married too, the best advice I got was ultimately it doesnt matter if its joint or separate - what matters is the TRANSPARENCY and ACCESS that you both have to whatever account. And it has to work for your marriage.

This makes perfect sense to me. The exact setup will depend on the logistics of how your family needs to manage money to be successful, but what really matters is that you're communicating openly about financial goals / decisions, and are operating as a team and in good faith with one another.

For us we're mostly joint because we got married young, and because we live at a level where we're not stretched to the penny. I could see the need for separate accounts if you need to budget very closely / account for every penny, and it would just make it easier to keep things separate so you're not caught off guard by the other persons spending.