Anonymous wrote:My bigger issue with only children when they come over is that they tend to not be nice at all to the younger siblings. I guess they just develop the tolerance !

+1

My niece is self-centered, not because she is an only (she has a younger sis), but because her parents never discipline her obnoxious behavior during playdates and otherwise.

This is a really stupid thread.

My 5 yr old only is amazing with kids. Always shares and is. Complimented on this. It's who she is. And has little to do with being an only.

[quote=Anonymous]kids who have siblings. They're so competitive since they have to compete for attention at home[/quote]

[quote=Anonymous]only always share. Sometimes, she will stand back and "wait" her turn indefinitely, because she's too naive to understand that not everybody will voluntarily share and sometimes you've gotta assert yourself. [/quote]

[quote=Anonymous]kid's with older siblings take toys away and often, the only child will stand in shock without response. I am guessing because that's never happened before.[/quote]

[quote=Anonymous]The onlies I know tend to be shy at first and take some time to get comfortable playing with other kids.[/quote]

[quote=Anonymous]I will be honest. I have an only and I do think she can be domineering. She has been in daycare full days 5 days a week since she was 3 and is now 6 and I am constantly trying to squash her "assertiveness" while, at the same time, nervously hoping that it may be good for her in the long run that she *clearly* has no qualms about standing up for herself! whew, ( but can be exhausting trying to parent a child like this!). [/quote]
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daycare[/b]

I will be honest. I have an only and I do think she can be domineering. She has been in daycare full days 5 days a week since she was 3 and is now 6 and I am constantly trying to squash her "assertiveness" while, at the same time, nervously hoping that it may be good for her in the long run that she *clearly* has no qualms about standing up for herself! whew, ( but can be exhausting trying to parent a child like this!).

I think that it is bizarre how folks will always assume it is a child's status as an "only" (as opposed to something else in his/her personality or upbringing) that accounts for negative behaviors. Yet you never see threads in which a poster says she does not like dealing with first borns, or middle children, or youngest children because of stereotypical behaviors associated with birth order.

Honestly OP - We have five children. Our youngest was probably the most selfish out of all of them on playdates. His older siblings pretty much gave him whatever he wanted just to keep him quiet.

Who resurrected this old thread, and for what purpose?

Wow. I would be skeptical of inviting your kid over - perhaps I should just generalize and assume your kid is as judgmental as you? Its a parenting issue and not a sibling issue. Kids in preschool tend to be more socialized since the environment forces them to do so. Kids who are in homes where its the norm to share do so regardless of whether there is a sibling. I guess I shouldnt be surprised - its dcum. Im an only child and I learned to share pretty early on in my life and wow, I managed to become an adult. With friends. Given you dont know situations, comments like this are rude and unproductive. Siblings arent always in the cards.

Anonymous wrote:i just don't get frustrated with children on playdates period. they are kids. having fun. lighten up! geez.

Exactly.

And I have three kids (twins plus an older DS). All three of them can be dominating, bossy, selfish, and bratty on playdates and otherwise.

The onlies I know tend to be shy at first and take some time to get comfortable playing with other kids. That's probably the main reason their parents are interested in playdates. Never seen one acting spoiled or dominant. Perhaps that comes later. But then they aren't having "playdates."

I have an only and the kids I don't like are the younger sisters. They are whiny, always want the parents' attention, have little respect for boundaries, and they & often their parents think they have been wronger some how, all the older kids must cater to the younger sister & change how they interact & what they play so they "baby" doesn't feel left out.

Anonymous wrote:I remember the days before my second came along. I forget how self centered ( wish there was another word) a child can be who doesn't have to share life experiences 24/7 with other kids, on the other hand - lucky them. We have a lot of friends with only children, while easy to arrange playdates, the kids can be annoying with their dominant behavior. How do you work around this, the parents I know seem oblivious.

I have 3 children and I actually don't think "onlys" have very dominant behavior usually. I volunteer in my child's classroom at school and I've seen other kid's with older siblings take toys away and often, the only child will stand in shock without response. I am guessing because that's never happened before.