Anonymous wrote:We're at $450K and it's tight. For those of you asking where the money goes, it goes to (1) caring for an aging parent who didn't save enough herself; (2) our nanny; and (3) college savings. We were putting aside $1000/month per child for college. We stopped last year. We are financially drained and every penny counts, and I'd rather spend the money now on private school and then make up for college later. I know that goes against what financial experts say, but I don't care. We take two vacations a year, one we pay for, and one is paid for by family, and I am not willing to give up the one that we take, as it is my true sanity.

On paper, it seems like we should be able to afford this, but then something happens (major car repair, new A/C for house, mom gets sick), and we're back to square one.

I keep saying "next year will be better," but as an only child of a sick parent, I don't think that's the case, and I'm not willing to pull my kids (yet).

Anonymous wrote:
About $650K, 3 kids in private.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're at $450K and it's tight. For those of you asking where the money goes, it goes to (1) caring for an aging parent who didn't save enough herself; (2) our nanny; and (3) college savings. We were putting aside $1000/month per child for college. We stopped last year. We are financially drained and every penny counts, and I'd rather spend the money now on private school and then make up for college later. I know that goes against what financial experts say, but I don't care. We take two vacations a year, one we pay for, and one is paid for by family, and I am not willing to give up the one that we take, as it is my true sanity.

On paper, it seems like we should be able to afford this, but then something happens (major car repair, new A/C for house, mom gets sick), and we're back to square one.

I keep saying "next year will be better," but as an only child of a sick parent, I don't think that's the case, and I'm not willing to pull my kids (yet).

Tough spot no doubt. However, do you recognize that you are repeating the pattern set by your "aging parent who didn't save enough herself." The best thing you can do for your children is to create your own financial security. By going "against what financial experts say," you are repeating the pattern. I'm sure you don't want to wake up one day (when your earning years are over) and realize that you have not planned for your financial future. As someone who has experienced the stress of caring for your aging parent financially, why would you want to risk imposing that pressure on your children?

Oh, trust me, we have put aside for ourselves. What we stopped doing was putting aside $1000/month per child for their college savings. With what we have saved to date, plus figuring out that we won't have a nanny when our kids are in college, we'll be able to pay for college -- we just won't have it all saved, it will have to come out of our pockets. And they always can take out loans.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

12:14- are saying that you are able to pay $70K after taxes for two kids with $150-180K HHI? If so, you are my hero (no sarcasm).

I do not know the complete breakdown of our income, but $400K HHI is basically a little over $200K after taxes, health insurance premium, max 401, etc.). With that:
• we travel overseas twice a year with two kids (each time about $7-10K for tickets, gifts, other expenses, etc.) for about $15-$20K per year

• one nice family Caribbean vacation -$5K

• child care expenses for two kids -$40K per year – which I realize will go down a little since one DC will in a school already. but we need to keep the nanny for my younger DC or afterschool for the older DC.

• mortgage -$35K per year

• charity -$5K

• Monthly expenses (grocery, cable, internet, phone, car insurances, etc.) – no idea how much

• Miscellaneous (clothes, shoes, kids activities, health expenses, etc.) – no idea how much

• We save the rest – usually about $50 K per year, sometimes more.

So how am I going to send two kids to private and save money for college or retirement (in addition to 401K)?

We use Quicken to track our expenses. It is hard to know where to cut if you don't know what your expenses are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're at $450K and it's tight. For those of you asking where the money goes, it goes to (1) caring for an aging parent who didn't save enough herself; (2) our nanny; and (3) college savings. We were putting aside $1000/month per child for college. We stopped last year. We are financially drained and every penny counts, and I'd rather spend the money now on private school and then make up for college later. I know that goes against what financial experts say, but I don't care. We take two vacations a year, one we pay for, and one is paid for by family, and I am not willing to give up the one that we take, as it is my true sanity.

On paper, it seems like we should be able to afford this, but then something happens (major car repair, new A/C for house, mom gets sick), and we're back to square one.

I keep saying "next year will be better," but as an only child of a sick parent, I don't think that's the case, and I'm not willing to pull my kids (yet).

Tough spot no doubt. However, do you recognize that you are repeating the pattern set by your "aging parent who didn't save enough herself." The best thing you can do for your children is to create your own financial security. By going "against what financial experts say," you are repeating the pattern. I'm sure you don't want to wake up one day (when your earning years are over) and realize that you have not planned for your financial future. As someone who has experienced the stress of caring for your aging parent financially, why would you want to risk imposing that pressure on your children?

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

12:14- are saying that you are able to pay $70K after taxes for two kids with $150-180K HHI? If so, you are my hero (no sarcasm).

I do not know the complete breakdown of our income, but $400K HHI is basically a little over $200K after taxes, health insurance premium, max 401, etc.). With that:
• we travel overseas twice a year with two kids (each time about $7-10K for tickets, gifts, other expenses, etc.) for about $15-$20K per year

• one nice family Caribbean vacation -$5K

• child care expenses for two kids -$40K per year – which I realize will go down a little since one DC will in a school already. but we need to keep the nanny for my younger DC or afterschool for the older DC.

• mortgage -$35K per year

• charity -$5K

• Monthly expenses (grocery, cable, internet, phone, car insurances, etc.) – no idea how much

• Miscellaneous (clothes, shoes, kids activities, health expenses, etc.) – no idea how much

• We save the rest – usually about $50 K per year, sometimes more.

So how am I going to send two kids to private and save money for college or retirement (in addition to 401K)?

Anonymous wrote:We're at $450K and it's tight. For those of you asking where the money goes, it goes to (1) caring for an aging parent who didn't save enough herself; (2) our nanny; and (3) college savings. We were putting aside $1000/month per child for college. We stopped last year. We are financially drained and every penny counts, and I'd rather spend the money now on private school and then make up for college later. I know that goes against what financial experts say, but I don't care. We take two vacations a year, one we pay for, and one is paid for by family, and I am not willing to give up the one that we take, as it is my true sanity.

On paper, it seems like we should be able to afford this, but then something happens (major car repair, new A/C for house, mom gets sick), and we're back to square one.

I keep saying "next year will be better," but as an only child of a sick parent, I don't think that's the case, and I'm not willing to pull my kids (yet).

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

12:14- are saying that you are able to pay $70K after taxes for two kids with $150-180K HHI? If so, you are my hero (no sarcasm).

I do not know the complete breakdown of our income, but $400K HHI is basically a little over $200K after taxes, health insurance premium, max 401, etc.). With that:
• we travel overseas twice a year with two kids (each time about $7-10K for tickets, gifts, other expenses, etc.) for about $15-$20K per year

• one nice family Caribbean vacation -$5K

• child care expenses for two kids -$40K per year – which I realize will go down a little since one DC will in a school already. but we need to keep the nanny for my younger DC or afterschool for the older DC.

• mortgage -$35K per year

• charity -$5K

• Monthly expenses (grocery, cable, internet, phone, car insurances, etc.) – no idea how much

• Miscellaneous (clothes, shoes, kids activities, health expenses, etc.) – no idea how much

• We save the rest – usually about $50 K per year, sometimes more.

So how am I going to send two kids to private and save money for college or retirement (in addition to 401K)?

Anonymous wrote:This is an interesting thread. We are now trying to decide between a private school (for K) which we think would be a great fit for our son and MCPS which is considered very good. Our HHI is 400K pre-tax. We have two kids. on paper we should be able to afford two private school tuition. I did the math and it looks like we need to give up the following: two international trips per year and no or little monthly savings. We have familly overseas, so we cannot give up trips. It is VERY important for us that the kids spend time with family. As for savings, if we do not save, how are we going to pay for the kids college education? Because of these factors, we are leaning towards MCPS, at least until 3-4th grade or middle school.

Anonymous wrote:We're at $450K and it's tight. For those of you asking where the money goes, it goes to (1) caring for an aging parent who didn't save enough herself; (2) our nanny; and (3) college savings. We were putting aside $1000/month per child for college. We stopped last year. We are financially drained and every penny counts, and I'd rather spend the money now on private school and then make up for college later. I know that goes against what financial experts say, but I don't care. We take two vacations a year, one we pay for, and one is paid for by family, and I am not willing to give up the one that we take, as it is my true sanity.

On paper, it seems like we should be able to afford this, but then something happens (major car repair, new A/C for house, mom gets sick), and we're back to square one.

I keep saying "next year will be better," but as an only child of a sick parent, I don't think that's the case, and I'm not willing to pull my kids (yet).