Anonymous wrote:I never understand the people who respond to these requests with such venom. I presume the OP had an honest query. It may be a idfferent perspective than you, but why the need for you people are bizarre! Maybe they are just different than you. Im sure the OP feels bad, no need to call her names. If you dont agree with her, just say it

agree. this is why I rarely come to dcum anymore. disappointing advice, support, and commiseration. If someone doesn't fully agree with the way someone feels or feels the person is being 'self involved' they waste their time posting hostile and mean comments.

I never understand the people who respond to these requests with such venom. I presume the OP had an honest query. It may be a idfferent perspective than you, but why the need for you people are bizarre! Maybe they are just different than you. Im sure the OP feels bad, no need to call her names. If you dont agree with her, just say it

Anonymous wrote:I completely think the OP is right to want to control how often grandparents spend time with her own child.

It's about boundaries, people. OP is the parent, it's not up to the child, or the grandparents. What if the grandparents decided they want to walk the kid to school every day? would the OP have to put up with that?

Get DH involved, but they sound like they already overstep boundaries and will likely be hurt no matter how nicely you say it. Still, a boundary must be drawn here. You are not to be held hostage to this.

Um, I actually think that sounds very sweet and it would be a lovely memory for my child. And I can't STAND my in-laws. You people and your need to control everything are bizarre.

I don't know why people would rather burn bridges than stop being martyrs. You'd rather uninvite them from a special moment in your child's life than actually have enough of a spine not to run around after them when they visit?

Stop running after them. You said it's been 15 years. They know their way around the kitchen. If DH has a problem, he can cook. Don't passive aggressively exclude them from your DC's life because YOU like to be a doormat. Either invite them and cater to them or invite them and DON'T cater to them.

You only see them 2x a year! Ridiculous.

How does your child feel about their presence?

Anonymous wrote:I don't see how you can tell grandparents they are unwanted at a grandchild's major event. It sends all the wrong messages about their role in your child's life. Anyone with a brain will realize that you consider them a burden and don't appreciate the value of their presence at these moments.

I know it makes the weekend tougher to have there, but I think it's the right thing to do.

+1