Anonymous
Post 01/25/2013 23:26     Subject: What to tell child who is product of an affair?
I was 19 when we met, not when I got pregnant. The affair went on for several years and only ended after I discovered I was pregnant. Stability is a major concern, of course. not sure why it seems unrealistic that I would care about the child's emotional well-being as well.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2013 23:21     Subject: What to tell child who is product of an affair?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is the other half of pro-choice, folks. The woman made her choice and expected the man to accept it. Well the man has also made his choice and fairness says the woman needs to accept it.

The sad part is it can't work in reverse. Men usually can't keep babies they want that the mothers don't.[/quote


The minute a man ejaculates without wearing a condom is when he gives up his choice. He is legally obligated to provide support for the child and I would suggest the OP pursue it. You can't force him to be involved though. Some stones are best left unturned. She is young so you can keep the explanation simple for now. The one about how there are all different types of families works well esp if your child is around different kinds of families.


Double standard. Men have to keep unwanted kids. Women can abort. I think guys should be allowed an "out" too.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2013 23:13     Subject: Re:What to tell child who is product of an affair?
Total troll thread. If OP was 19 when she got pregnant that would put her at 21 now right? So she either never went to college or dropped out if she is really a single working mother as she says. How does a 21 year old pay for daycare and still make ends meet? Her parents are likely not retired and babysitting. There are many women in this situation but the last thing they are doing is posting on the Internet about what to tell their 1 year old. Seriously, If I were a 21 year old in this position I would be worrying about rent and stability not something like this. OP is a troll. I'm sure Jeff could find other posts by her that would contradict her story.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2013 23:10     Subject: What to tell child who is product of an affair?
Anonymous wrote:Why in the world does someone need therapy because they are a knocked up trollop? A lawyer, maybe. A therapist? Bull shit. People are so weak.

P.S. can't spell trollop without troll.


Because she cheated with a married man with kids? Therapy all around.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2013 23:05     Subject: What to tell child who is product of an affair?
Why in the world does someone need therapy because they are a knocked up trollop? A lawyer, maybe. A therapist? Bull shit. People are so weak.

P.S. can't spell trollop without troll.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2013 22:57     Subject: What to tell child who is product of an affair?
Anonymous wrote:Rielle is that you?


I read that John Edwards is very much part of Rielle and their DD's life. He's over at their house a lot.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2013 22:46     Subject: What to tell child who is product of an affair?
OP, good luck to you. You have taken the hard road for the benefit of your child, you are a good mother. The advice to coordinate disclosure with a therapist is sound.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2013 22:42     Subject: What to tell child who is product of an affair?
Anonymous wrote:This is the other half of pro-choice, folks. The woman made her choice and expected the man to accept it. Well the man has also made his choice and fairness says the woman needs to accept it.

The sad part is it can't work in reverse. Men usually can't keep babies they want that the mothers don't.[/quote


The minute a man ejaculates without wearing a condom is when he gives up his choice. He is legally obligated to provide support for the child and I would suggest the OP pursue it. You can't force him to be involved though. Some stones are best left unturned. She is young so you can keep the explanation simple for now. The one about how there are all different types of families works well esp if your child is around different kinds of families.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2013 22:40     Subject: What to tell child who is product of an affair?
Anonymous wrote:OP, what if his wife said she would adopt the child and bring her up as her own. This would give her a father and a stable home life. Would you do this for the good of this little girl? I know of a case where this happened. The father isn't a well-known politician but, otherwise, much the same story. Of course, I believe you are a troll so it is just hypothetical with you.


When I first found out I was pregnant, I actually considered this. I did not want kids and had no idea how to take care of one. Not to mention being young and unestablished and afraid of missing out, etc. It didn't end up being an option because the couple in question were simply too old to be taking care of a newborn, and I don't think the wife could deal. He actually threatened to sue for custody at one point, but I think it was a scare tactic because later on he admitted he would end up divorced if he had any part in the child's life. Once I became attached to her, there was no way I could give her up, and now that she is a year old it would be impossible. I do want to give her the best life I possibly can, though.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2013 22:31     Subject: Re:What to tell child who is product of an affair?
Op, I was reading this thread hoping I could get some insight as the parent of a child who was also the product of an affair but who was placed for adoption by his bio parents. Sorry to see it turned nasty when an innocent child is at the heart of it.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2013 22:26     Subject: What to tell child who is product of an affair?
OP, what if his wife said she would adopt the child and bring her up as her own. This would give her a father and a stable home life. Would you do this for the good of this little girl? I know of a case where this happened. The father isn't a well-known politician but, otherwise, much the same story. Of course, I believe you are a troll so it is just hypothetical with you.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2013 22:24     Subject: What to tell child who is product of an affair?
Therapy and see a lawyer to protect your child's rights.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2013 21:54     Subject: What to tell child who is product of an affair?
it is really amazing how harsh this group is on someone reaching out for advice. Some who admits to making past mistakes and wants to make the best of it. Seriously.

OP, always tell the truth.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2013 21:36     Subject: What to tell child who is product of an affair?
OP, I am a therapist. I agree with the advice to make a couple of appointments with a psychologist or social worker to talk about how you'd best like to handle this with your daughter. It could help a lot. Good luck to you!
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2013 21:31     Subject: What to tell child who is product of an affair?
Anonymous wrote:Let me see if I understand OP. She had no qualms about having an affair with a married man, unprotected sex, got pregnant but "couldn't, just couldn't bring herself to abort." Sob, sob, sob. He is a well-known politician. Sounds to me like OP was looking for a way Easy Street and a lobster and champagne meal ticket. Pregnancy is 100% preventable these days. I would think it would be humiliating to tell your daughter the truth ever. Keep it to yourself and don't give her your guilt.


He offered me $250k to have an abortion. If it had anything to do with money, I would have taken it and gone on my merry way. Being a single working mother isn't exactly Easy Street.