Anonymous wrote:I do not think this note was shaming, unless the child is not capable of neater work. The teacher asks a great question: Are you proud of this? To me, that's the standard for a good student, for good study skills and habits. OP, was your child proud of this? Of course not. Really folks, the world is a tough place, let's not coddle a child who doesn't do his/her best work and gets called out for it.

+1000

I had a running dialogue with my DDs' Third Grade teacher regarding how sloppy her work was but how excellent her work product was. Her comments helped both of us because knew asking her to focus on neatness would have stifled her creativity. It was the right message at the right time developmentally for my DD. Hope you work this out.

Anonymous wrote:I don't see this as that bad. Should our children not produce work they should be proud of? I think we fail our children if we don't teach them to "own" their work. When is the appropriate age to start instilling pride in one's work? I don't think 8 is too early.

We coddle our children far to much, and we report teachers who try to have a child do better if worded just a little too harshly.

OP, I'd talk to your child first, not the teacher, and ask why he/she thinks the teacher wrote what she did. There may be some history in the classroom you don't know about.

Absolutely. Don't be the mom who goes running in about every little thing.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like WES

LOL. I was thinking the same thing and there you were!

Teacher's comment was punitive. Your child could have a number of fine motor problems that you or teacher are unaware of. How does your child hold a pencil? Is dysgraphia a problem? Our private school did not teacher the kids the correct way to hold a crayon, pencil, so both have difficulty with hand writing many years after the fact.

Is the problem handwriting? If so, you need to address that immediately. If private, ask - they will probably say that won't help. There are handwriting tutors - they usually use "Handwriting without Tears" - but the one I used was useless. I think the LAB school has a good program - but that's just based on what another parent said. But you must address the handwriting issue immediately - third grade may be too late. Does your child use the pincer grip?

BTW, had I had a third grade teacher write that on any work I had done, I would remember it for life. I think it is really out of bounds.

It's good to see a little constructive criticism. If there were lots of errors, should the child be proud of his/her work? Good for a change to see a bit of realistic feedback in the midst of our everyone is a winnder and gets a trophy culture.

I do not think this note was shaming, unless the child is not capable of neater work. The teacher asks a great question: Are you proud of this? To me, that's the standard for a good student, for good study skills and habits. OP, was your child proud of this? Of course not. Really folks, the world is a tough place, let's not coddle a child who doesn't do his/her best work and gets called out for it.

OP

Does your child always write this way? If not, I think it was legit for the teacher to be a bit harsh. Of course the teacher could have softened the message with something like, "Good work, but please write more neatly next time." Even added on to what she wrote.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am also a teacher and the comment is not appropriate. It's entirely appropriate to point out to a child that his/her work is too messy. I've done it many times. This was not the way to do it. It's not hard to write, "Your handwriting on this worksheet was very messy. It was very difficult for me to grade. Next time, please work on writing more neatly!"

Put yourself in the child's shoes. Would you want your boss to write you a note with that tone? I wouldn't. Critical feedback is necessary-- but do it respectfully.

Exactly what I was thinking. Could you imagine this from a managing partner to a newly hired junior associate? Time to circulate the resume could be right around the corner.

I don't think a boss would have to write that note-you'd be circulating your resume anyway looking for a paycheck! In the real world, turning in crap (excuse me, less than your your best) leaves you out of a job, not with esteem-building suggestions on how to do better. We coddle kids too much and later they expect everyone to love and accept what they do. The child knows how to do better work yet didn't so why should the teacher make them feel okay about that? No boss ever would.

Not okay. I would talk with the teacher.

I think both you and your child need to develop thicker skin. As far as "criticism" goes, this is pretty minor. Talk your child through this and prepare him/her for life. It isn't all going to be sugar and roses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am also a teacher and the comment is not appropriate. It's entirely appropriate to point out to a child that his/her work is too messy. I've done it many times. This was not the way to do it. It's not hard to write, "Your handwriting on this worksheet was very messy. It was very difficult for me to grade. Next time, please work on writing more neatly!"

Put yourself in the child's shoes. Would you want your boss to write you a note with that tone? I wouldn't. Critical feedback is necessary-- but do it respectfully.

Exactly what I was thinking. Could you imagine this from a managing partner to a newly hired junior associate? Time to circulate the resume could be right around the corner.

What a stupid analogy. As though the teacher's salary or profits depended on the student's work.

You must be in some pollyannaish workplace, because blunt feedback without sugar coated words is not uncommon at all.

Depends on the employee and employer. Good management is important.

If my son got a comment like that, I would not complain, but he would let it roll off his back and not be upset by it. The problem is, however, that many other kids might feel differently, and it isn't appropriate to have "nastier" comments for one child than another. If your child was upset and discouraged by it, I would start by addressing the issue with the teacher directly first.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am also a teacher and the comment is not appropriate. It's entirely appropriate to point out to a child that his/her work is too messy. I've done it many times. This was not the way to do it. It's not hard to write, "Your handwriting on this worksheet was very messy. It was very difficult for me to grade. Next time, please work on writing more neatly!"

Put yourself in the child's shoes. Would you want your boss to write you a note with that tone? I wouldn't. Critical feedback is necessary-- but do it respectfully.

Exactly what I was thinking. Could you imagine this from a managing partner to a newly hired junior associate? Time to circulate the resume could be right around the corner.

What a stupid analogy. As though the teacher's salary or profits depended on the student's work.

You must be in some pollyannaish workplace, because blunt feedback without sugar coated words is not uncommon at all.

Teacher again -- do take action, but I strongly suggest approaching the teacher first. "We were taken aback and it seemed to really upset our child. We want her to do well and be responsive to your concerns, however.". Then see what the teacher says. It's not a good way to build trust with the teacher to report her straightaway, UNLESS there is a pattern of nastiness.

I can tell you that at our school, the teacher would definitely be counseled away from this style of criticism. As a teacher, I am quite aware of parents who overreact and/or kill the messenger, but this just doesn't fit that mold.

Good luck, hopefully something was lost in translation or that the teacher was having a bad day.

Anonymous wrote:I am also a teacher and the comment is not appropriate. It's entirely appropriate to point out to a child that his/her work is too messy. I've done it many times. This was not the way to do it. It's not hard to write, "Your handwriting on this worksheet was very messy. It was very difficult for me to grade. Next time, please work on writing more neatly!"

Put yourself in the child's shoes. Would you want your boss to write you a note with that tone? I wouldn't. Critical feedback is necessary-- but do it respectfully.

Exactly what I was thinking. Could you imagine this from a managing partner to a newly hired junior associate? Time to circulate the resume could be right around the corner.