I say: enjoy the flirtation and rub one out as many times as you need to. Fuck the shit out of him I your mind, down and dirty fantasies - on the desk, in the car, in the hotel room. When you can, channel all that into hubby. It worked for me and then I got pregnant and lost all interest in the crush. Now I just have a list of men I like to fantasize about: the contractor who worked on our condo, the hot Dad at daycare, the bosses boss at work. I think they have thought about fucking me, too but nothing goes beyond flirtation. So don't act on it but love the fantasy and enjoy knowing someone thinks you are hot.

Anonymous wrote:I was in a similar situation. I was upfront with the guy and told him that I was married but acknowledged the attraction. We have shared a few drinks together had some dinners together when away on business, but kept everything platonic. Eventually, he married too, but we are still good friends. We have never so much as even held hands but have enjoyed some laughs and good conversation.

Would you do him if he asked?

I was in a similar situation. I was upfront with the guy and told him that I was married but acknowledged the attraction. We have shared a few drinks together had some dinners together when away on business, but kept everything platonic. Eventually, he married too, but we are still good friends. We have never so much as even held hands but have enjoyed some laughs and good conversation.

Anonymous wrote:OP, keep it a fantasy. Take the advice from someone who acted on it and now it's just awkward. Plus it was so much better in my head!

+1

OP, it wears off, trust me. That's why they are called crushes, a burning hot flame like that is impossible to sustain. Imagine the way you probably felt when you first met your husband, the intensity of those feelings are now what? m'eh.

Enjoy the crush, one day soon, you will no longer give a shit. I was just where you are. Fantasized about the guy intensely for months. One day, I discovered the feelings had disappeared. I can't tell you how it happened, I just became indifferent. I still think he's attractive, don't get me wrong but he doesn't move me anymore.

OP, keep it a fantasy. Take the advice from someone who acted on it and now it's just awkward. Plus it was so much better in my head!

Would you do him if he asked?

I've been there. I'm there now, not with a coworker but with someone I see several times a week. Like you, I'm the married one and he's single. We have had a minimal flirtation for years. I thought I was over my crush, but recently he broke up with his girlfriend and his behavior started to change. I'm not thrilled about living under his spell again. I'm terrified of the day he actually calls me on it.

OP, I have the same type of story. Sit in the next cube from a guy who is intelligent, well educated, funny, and ambitious - also has a killer bod - LOL.

He is very easy to talk to and we have gone through the usual office conversation about family, where we grew up, hobbies, etc. I have a good marriage but like anything, after 15 years together the flame changes from the intial chemistry. So we talk, laugh, I find out some things about his marriage and think, "how can his wife treat him like this......." And should I add that we ask each day what time the other person is leaving and walk out together?

What got me to stop was how it was affecting my everyday life - does he like what I am wearing? How did he say hello when he saw me?

OP, it's all fantasy. The man in my office is a human being who I am sure sometimes can be a jerk to his wife and unfair to his kids. And no doubt any problems at home are also his fault - doesn't it always work that way?

So now, we leave at different times, I work on the things that are good about my husband, and leave the school girl fantasies where they belong. There is nothing wrong with having some kind of little crush, but at least for me, it was going to far in my head.

I do agree that there are probably characteristics he has that you wish your DH had or a sexual chemistry that has perhaps weakened at home.

That said, as long as you're not hanging out with him or chatting privately often, having a crush is fine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are idealizing him. He is a human being with faults like all of us.

I know. If he wasn't so damned hot, it wouldn't be a problem.

Still idealizing him. That wears off.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are idealizing him. He is a human being with faults like all of us.

I know. If he wasn't so damned hot, it wouldn't be a problem.

He is hot, you are not. Move on.

Wow, everyone, thanks for the junior high input.

Anonymous wrote:Are you 12? Or 65?

What? Of course not....late 30's.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are idealizing him. He is a human being with faults like all of us.

I know. If he wasn't so damned hot, it wouldn't be a problem.

He is hot, you are not. Move on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are idealizing him. He is a human being with faults like all of us.

I know. If he wasn't so damned hot, it wouldn't be a problem.

Oh please, I have girlfriends tell me how hot some guy is they like, I meet them and think, "huh"?