Anonymous
Post 12/22/2012 20:01     Subject: Question for south asians about prejudice
Anonymous wrote:There are some people in every race/ country who hold racist or bigoted views. That shouldn't lead you to make generalizations about the people as a whole. For example, my (South Asian) husband was really angry when a French Jewish friend of his defended DSK's actions by saying "How could anyone be possibly attracted to a woman in a headscarf?"


Why the reference to Jewish? Has anyone else mentioned anyone's religion on this board? We're the south Asians any particular religion? I don't recall a reference to their religion.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2012 19:55     Subject: Re:Question for south asians about prejudice
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, my husband's family is South Asian, and they are extremely racist. Every family and social gathering, they talk freely in racist terms, and they save their worst ire for black people--there is true derision in their voices.

It makes me physically ill. But I don't think it has been passed on to my husband's generation, not has their sexism or classism (or caste-ism). But then your post made me wonder if his generation just tones it down around us because I am not South Asian.

So sad. So ugly.


i am SA and i agree that there is much prejudice in the SA culture against many groups. i have gotten into many a disagreement with friends and family over this subject and will not tolerate the use of the k word. i happen to cringe everytime i hear it, so yes, i do think it is a bad word.

so why did you marry into this culture? i have to admit i get pretty tired of non SA (women, mostly) who have married into the SA culture, yet continue to bad mouth it. it is severely irritating. what have you done to combat this racism instead of just coming on here to fluff your feathers? please, enlighten us.



I met my husband in high school. I fell madly in love with his brilliance, his sweetness, his humor, his passion, and his gorgeous body--which happened to be South Asian.

Racism, sexism, classism, the caste system, female feticide--these are all aspects of South Asian culture which are objectively wrong, not because they are South Asian, but because they are wrong everywhere, in every culture, time, and place.

I combat those evils with love. I love my husband, and our love has produced beautiful (multiracial) children who love their grandparents. At first, these grandparents rejected those who were girls. My husband only has male cousins, and there was great, public pride about the lack of females due to easy access to abortion. But they ended up loving their granddaughters, who are now the light of their lives.

Love will fight evil anywhere it shows up, in any culture. St. Thomas Aquinas encouraged interracial/cultural marriages as God's way of spreading the truth, through love. I have black, Asian, Latino, and white family members because of love. I exist because of my parents' love, which did not see race. We are all God's children, all part of the human family, and that is exceptionally obvious when people whose ancestors lived on different continents love one another and have children together.

"Preach always; when necessary, use words.". Combatting racism requires a change of hearts and minds. The best way to do that is through relationships, through living the principles you know to be true.

That's how I came to marry into the culture, and that's how I combat the predominant wrongs endemic to that culture.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2012 15:50     Subject: Re:Question for south asians about prejudice
Anonymous wrote:OP, my husband's family is South Asian, and they are extremely racist. Every family and social gathering, they talk freely in racist terms, and they save their worst ire for black people--there is true derision in their voices.

It makes me physically ill. But I don't think it has been passed on to my husband's generation, not has their sexism or classism (or caste-ism). But then your post made me wonder if his generation just tones it down around us because I am not South Asian.

So sad. So ugly.


i am SA and i agree that there is much prejudice in the SA culture against many groups. i have gotten into many a disagreement with friends and family over this subject and will not tolerate the use of the k word. i happen to cringe everytime i hear it, so yes, i do think it is a bad word.

so why did you marry into this culture? i have to admit i get pretty tired of non SA (women, mostly) who have married into the SA culture, yet continue to bad mouth it. it is severely irritating. what have you done to combat this racism instead of just coming on here to fluff your feathers? please, enlighten us.

Anonymous
Post 12/22/2012 14:20     Subject: Re:Question for south asians about prejudice
OP, my husband's family is South Asian, and they are extremely racist. Every family and social gathering, they talk freely in racist terms, and they save their worst ire for black people--there is true derision in their voices.

It makes me physically ill. But I don't think it has been passed on to my husband's generation, not has their sexism or classism (or caste-ism). But then your post made me wonder if his generation just tones it down around us because I am not South Asian.

So sad. So ugly.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2012 10:42     Subject: Question for south asians about prejudice
African American here. Guys, cool it. We know how many Asians feel about us, and we still have Asian friends.
Anonymous
Post 12/22/2012 10:20     Subject: Re:Question for south asians about prejudice
Well it's pretty common for SA to be discriminated against from the various other groups that fall under the huge Asian category as well. Add to that being discriminated against by whites and blacks too.

Don't act like you've never heard a SA being made fun of because they "smell like curry" or have that "red dot" on their head, or they're " thick funny sounding accents", and any number of 7-11 or IT jokes. How about all crap talk regarding call center phone calls?

They're are racist people in all groups, nationalities, colors, you name it. This thread has turned into a bashing of the SA category. The next few threads should be titled "Prejudice White People"," Prejudice Black People", "Prejudice Chinese People", etc.....
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2012 23:32     Subject: Question for south asians about prejudice
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have many South Asian acquaintances and friends. We are in Fairfax County. A few friends have quirks regarding other South Asians (from dark skin/light skin to where someone's family is from exactly), these few also have trouble making South Asian friends but it is due to these quirks mostly. We as you can see discuss this every time we get together.

I think it's now considered kind of old-school and trashy to talk about skin tone these days. None of our friends make comments on that sort of thing. When the older people make comments, most people just roll their eyes. Where do you find this South Asians?


In reference to the dark/light skin topic, are you aware that black Americans also talk like this? They still have the hierarchy with the skin tone within their own community.



Hey--you better qualifiy that shit. Do you even know any black Americans? Don't believe we all run around singing about it like a damn Spike Lee movie.


Agreed. Black woman born and raised in DC (in the 80's). I would wager that blacks in this area have been exposed to more racism from Asians than whites.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2012 23:11     Subject: Re:Question for south asians about prejudice
Anonymous wrote:
As far as the "K" word which I suspect is mostly likely 'kala' or 'kaloo', as one PP already stated that is not a derogatory word. It is the word for black person and is not equivalent to the English "N" word slur. Kala/kaloo is not a racial slur.


That's nice, but I've heard it used as one (tone). Also, imagine that you are AA and don't know many south Asians, and when you do they say this word around you...would that really feel non-threatening to you?

I've discussed this with other SA people and it can come across as derogatory.


The feminine form of 'kala' is 'kali'. Kali means black (and it can also mean time.) There is a Hindu deity named Goddess Kali. If Kala/Kali were a derogatory word it would not be the name of a deity.

Lots of words can be twisted and used with other words in a sentence or in tones to cause harm or to be mean, but that does not make the word itself derogatory.

Anonymous
Post 12/21/2012 23:00     Subject: Question for south asians about prejudice
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have many South Asian acquaintances and friends. We are in Fairfax County. A few friends have quirks regarding other South Asians (from dark skin/light skin to where someone's family is from exactly), these few also have trouble making South Asian friends but it is due to these quirks mostly. We as you can see discuss this every time we get together.

I think it's now considered kind of old-school and trashy to talk about skin tone these days. None of our friends make comments on that sort of thing. When the older people make comments, most people just roll their eyes. Where do you find this South Asians?


In reference to the dark/light skin topic, are you aware that black Americans also talk like this? They still have the hierarchy with the skin tone within their own community.

Anonymous
Post 12/21/2012 23:00     Subject: Question for south asians about prejudice
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have many South Asian acquaintances and friends. We are in Fairfax County. A few friends have quirks regarding other South Asians (from dark skin/light skin to where someone's family is from exactly), these few also have trouble making South Asian friends but it is due to these quirks mostly. We as you can see discuss this every time we get together.

I think it's now considered kind of old-school and trashy to talk about skin tone these days. None of our friends make comments on that sort of thing. When the older people make comments, most people just roll their eyes. Where do you find this South Asians?


In reference to the dark/light skin topic, are you aware that black Americans also talk like this? They still have the hierarchy with the skin tone within their own community.



Hey--you better qualifiy that shit. Do you even know any black Americans? Don't believe we all run around singing about it like a damn Spike Lee movie.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2012 18:14     Subject: Re:Question for south asians about prejudice
As far as the "K" word which I suspect is mostly likely 'kala' or 'kaloo', as one PP already stated that is not a derogatory word. It is the word for black person and is not equivalent to the English "N" word slur. Kala/kaloo is not a racial slur.


That's nice, but I've heard it used as one (tone). Also, imagine that you are AA and don't know many south Asians, and when you do they say this word around you...would that really feel non-threatening to you?

I've discussed this with other SA people and it can come across as derogatory.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2012 09:01     Subject: Re:Question for south asians about prejudice
SA here born and raised in the US, 1st gen, 2nd gen whatever you want to call me. I've never even heard the term 'kike' ever (and I have large group of SA friends from various states) , this is the first time I've encountered it.

As far as the "K" word which I suspect is mostly likely 'kala' or 'kaloo', as one PP already stated that is not a derogatory word. It is the word for black person and is not equivalent to the English "N" word slur. Kala/kaloo is not a racial slur.

Now if someone decided to tell a joke such as "how many black people (kala) would it take to screw in a light bulb?" that would be a racially charged statement/joke but the actual use of the word kala is not derogatory, the entire joke is. It would be like asking 'how many white people (gora) does it take to screw in a light bulb?", again the entire joke is racially charged not the word that means white people.

So to the OP, if the context of which they were using this "k" word was racially charged and prejudice that would be different than saying that they used the word and that makes them prejudice.

That said, you will find prejudice people in every single group of peoples all over the world. It is not limited to one group or nationality, you need to just look for some other friends.

Anonymous
Post 12/21/2012 08:16     Subject: Re:Question for south asians about prejudice
I doubt if prejudice is specific to one group of people. You thought this was a nice way to meet a new set of people and at the very first meeting, you realized their true colors. Just move on and find better people. I promise you there are good ones in every ethnicity/race/culture.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2012 02:10     Subject: Re:Question for south asians about prejudice
Anonymous wrote:
That said, in Urdu, "kala" is the word for black color or skin. "kaloo" is the word meaning "black person." it is not a derogatory word any more than "black person" is, so PP whose family uses that word- I wonder if it's the context or the other adjectives used, but I don't believe kulloo is considered a bad word. Then again, I'm first generation and raised here, so I might be missing the subtleties of that term as used by immigrants.


Trust me you might want to stop using it.


Well, PP's explanation is how I feel as well. I don't understand why 'kaloo' would be derogatory when it translates to black person same as 'gori' for white...atleast ime, it is describing a race, not used as an epithet.

Anonymous
Post 12/20/2012 23:03     Subject: Question for south asians about prejudice
I'm still confused about the 1st generation and 2nd generation references. So, if someone whose parents came here are 1st generation, what do you call the parents who immigrated here? Just immigrants?

I always have thought 1st generation meant the people who migrated and 2nd generation are those whose parents immigrated.

I'm seeing lots of people using the terms differently here - maybe I have been using them incorrectly all these years??