Anonymous
Post 11/16/2012 12:43     Subject: Re:ideas for a very easy (low stress) wedding (DC venue?)

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Okay, another guy here. When I got married, late, at 37, it was my first marriage. My wife had been married once before and this was her second marriage. She was willing to have a low key wedding in part because she had already had the wedding with the big fanfare. But I come from an ethnic background where weddings are bid things and frankly, not only did I want a celebration, but my family did too. They had waited a long time, had thought that I might be a bachelor-for-life and wanted to celebrate with me. So I wanted it to be something special. And frankly, whether the wedding itself was big or not, the reception needed to be special. Having a restaurant reception at a restaurant where we ate on a random weeknight would have been disappointing for both me and my family. Think if you had a milestone achievement that was very important to you (whether a milestone birthday, a major degree that you had been working towards, a promotion that justified the last many years of difficult work life, etc) and your husband took you to the same restaurant you go to when neither of you feels like cooking. Does that feel big and celebratory to you? That may be what you make your husband-to-be feel like. I don't know whether you communicate well in general or not, but now would be a good time to open the lines of communication that you will need for your marriage to survive the long run. Ask him to explain to you what aspects of the wedding are important and why so you know how to take those into account while doing your (hopefully) low-key and low-stress planning. If you know that he wants a special venue, then you can plan for that. If he just wants a party, you can plan for that. Etc.


You did a nice job of explaining what I think are his exact concerns. We are definitely commited to working through it so that we are both happy (for him that means he enjoys it and for me that means I get through it without too much stress )
Anonymous
Post 11/16/2012 12:30     Subject: ideas for a very easy (low stress) wedding (DC venue?)

OP, you could just hire a wedding planner and let her worry over everything.
Anonymous
Post 11/16/2012 12:27     Subject: ideas for a very easy (low stress) wedding (DC venue?)

We had a pianist at the Cranston House. They have a lovely piano as I recall. Burnett Thompson. He was GREAT!
Anonymous
Post 11/16/2012 12:22     Subject: ideas for a very easy (low stress) wedding (DC venue?)

OP, all the planning details are only as stressful as you allow them to be. If you get all caught up in matching the ribbon of your bouquet to the dinner napkins, yes, it'll be a pain. If you chose competent vendors and let them have some free reign within your parameters, you'll be fine.

We went to ONE florist for our wedding that a friend recommended. I said, "here is our budget, I need some kind of decoration by our wedding site where we say our vows, this many bouquets, and this many table tops arrangements, and I want flowers in blues and purples that have sort of an English country-garden feel, and I hate lilies." From there, the florist came up with a proposal that made the most for my money (because I wasn't specific about flowers, she could pick the ones in season) and she was creative about things like doing arrangements that could be moved easily from the wedding site to the reception site. Our entire meeting took an hour and a couple of calls to confirm the proposal and the details of the wedding. No muss no fuss and my flowers were gorgeous.

Another example --we had a piano player at the reception. I did not create and provide a playlist. I just said "Cole Porter, Gerschwin, that kind of thing." Again, it was maybe 2 phone calls. He was a huge hit.
Anonymous
Post 11/16/2012 11:36     Subject: Re:ideas for a very easy (low stress) wedding (DC venue?)

How about a wedding on a Potomac Riverboat? They say average weddings are 50-150 people, but they can accommodate up to 250 full service and 350 cocktail style.
http://www.weddingwire.com/biz/potomac-riverboat-company-alexandria/d79b31325b702414.html

You make some arrangements with the Riverboat and the rest through the caterer that you select (they have a list of approved caterers). So, coordinating with two people you can make most arrangements. You can probably make it pretty low stress.
Anonymous
Post 11/16/2012 11:35     Subject: Re:ideas for a very easy (low stress) wedding (DC venue?)

We eloped. Pissed off a number of family members BUT all was forgotten within weeks. DH and I went for a two week honeymoon. We had just finished graduate school (meaning thesis and dissertation) and the break was fantastic. I am so glad we did it. Everyone got over the hurt feelings. Totally worth it. Weddings are a super pain and not worth it.
Anonymous
Post 11/16/2012 11:31     Subject: Re:ideas for a very easy (low stress) wedding (DC venue?)

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. I really really wanted to do a restaurant. My SO has a strong dislike for the idea. (It seems odd to me but he's listening to my weird requests - e.g. NO presents - so I'm trying not to push the issue. I do understand his concern about no dancing at a restaurant but don't understand the concern about getting married at a place we might have dinner on a random weeknight. Anyway ...)

The family only courthouse wedding with nice dinner out after is on the table for sure. But if we are in DC my SO feels it would be odd for friends to hear we are getting married and not be invited (I'm thinking they'll be a-okay with one less wedding but who knows.)


Okay, another guy here. When I got married, late, at 37, it was my first marriage. My wife had been married once before and this was her second marriage. She was willing to have a low key wedding in part because she had already had the wedding with the big fanfare. But I come from an ethnic background where weddings are bid things and frankly, not only did I want a celebration, but my family did too. They had waited a long time, had thought that I might be a bachelor-for-life and wanted to celebrate with me. So I wanted it to be something special. And frankly, whether the wedding itself was big or not, the reception needed to be special. Having a restaurant reception at a restaurant where we ate on a random weeknight would have been disappointing for both me and my family. Think if you had a milestone achievement that was very important to you (whether a milestone birthday, a major degree that you had been working towards, a promotion that justified the last many years of difficult work life, etc) and your husband took you to the same restaurant you go to when neither of you feels like cooking. Does that feel big and celebratory to you? That may be what you make your husband-to-be feel like. I don't know whether you communicate well in general or not, but now would be a good time to open the lines of communication that you will need for your marriage to survive the long run. Ask him to explain to you what aspects of the wedding are important and why so you know how to take those into account while doing your (hopefully) low-key and low-stress planning. If you know that he wants a special venue, then you can plan for that. If he just wants a party, you can plan for that. Etc.