Anonymous wrote:As a parent of a young child that is quite advanced linguistically and cognitively, I've found myself self-censoring with my friends when I talk about our future school plans. A lot of our decisions will be based on which school would best support a "gifted" child, but I'm reluctant to mention that, so I just talk about the other decision factors, which aren't nearly as important. It feels phony, and I don't like the fact that I don't feel I can have a candid conversation without coming across as bragging. I'm also worried that other parents would resent me. I don't think I'd feel as constrained if my child were really talented in music or sports instead. So I'm grateful for an anonymous forum where it's ok to talk openly about such things. Or at least where it doesn't really matter if some people resent you.

It's not self-censoring. It's called being polite and respectful. You wouldn't talk about your savings account balance, or your own summa cum laude as an undergrad, unless somebody asked you, would you? Same principle.

I'm 11:39/11:45. I agree with PP, it's almost tacky to talk about how gifted your kid is. It's veiled bragging. Would you talk about your trust fund? Worse, it's bragging based on your kid's achievements, not your own, which makes the listener wonder if your own identity depends on getting validation through your kid.

Two other things also drive me nuts: when it's not obvious the kid is more than just bright, and the "pity me, the misunderstood mom of a gifted kid, you have no idea how hard it is to be me" attitude. Too many parents seem to think their kid's giftedness is all about them, the parent.

PP is right. Figure out what you need to do, and do it.

And here's my reflexive defense against the inevitable charge of sour grapes: my kids have each been through several MCPS magnets. And I only say that because I feel like I have to, to deflect that weird tiger person.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sick of hearing about snowflakes are bored in school!

Amen. I mean seriously - what kid actually comes home and tells their parent they are bored in elementary school. I just can't imagine saying something like that when I was in early elem school.

My kid. My 7 year old complains loudly and consistently that his 2nd grade teacher is teaching "baby math" and that it's boring. At home, he was exploring square roots and squares last week. I haven't had a math class in 25 years, and I was doing okay, until he asked me if negative numbers have a square root.

He's not "bright." He's gifted. This is typical for gifted kids.

No, he's not gifted, he's bright, and it's great that he's picked up these concepts somewhere, but it's not earth-shattering.

A term like "gifted" is false modesty. Check Twitter and you'll see all these posts from kids and adults bragging about this and that, yet covering it with "#blessed."

Seems the culture these days is all about branding, and it's relected by all the labels parents want pinned to their kids from an early age.

I disagree. When a kid tests at the 99.9% percentile at his grade level on the COGAT and then tests at the 99.9% when he is tested a year about his grade level, and his IQ is over 145+ and he consistently demonstrates the other "symptoms" of giftedness, then he's gifted.

At the same time, I don't talk to people about this in any forum with my name on it. I was born in the Midwest. You don't talk about stuff like that. You just deal with it. It's not about branding. It's about having a handle to put on a problem, so that you can find solutions to deal with it.

As a parent of a young child that is quite advanced linguistically and cognitively, I've found myself self-censoring with my friends when I talk about our future school plans. A lot of our decisions will be based on which school would best support a "gifted" child, but I'm reluctant to mention that, so I just talk about the other decision factors, which aren't nearly as important. It feels phony, and I don't like the fact that I don't feel I can have a candid conversation without coming across as bragging. I'm also worried that other parents would resent me. I don't think I'd feel as constrained if my child were really talented in music or sports instead. So I'm grateful for an anonymous forum where it's ok to talk openly about such things. Or at least where it doesn't really matter if some people resent you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sick of hearing about snowflakes are bored in school!

Amen. I mean seriously - what kid actually comes home and tells their parent they are bored in elementary school. I just can't imagine saying something like that when I was in early elem school.

My kid. My 7 year old complains loudly and consistently that his 2nd grade teacher is teaching "baby math" and that it's boring. At home, he was exploring square roots and squares last week. I haven't had a math class in 25 years, and I was doing okay, until he asked me if negative numbers have a square root.

He's not "bright." He's gifted. This is typical for gifted kids.

No, he's not gifted, he's bright, and it's great that he's picked up these concepts somewhere, but it's not earth-shattering.

A term like "gifted" is false modesty. Check Twitter and you'll see all these posts from kids and adults bragging about this and that, yet covering it with "#blessed."

Seems the culture these days is all about branding, and it's relected by all the labels parents want pinned to their kids from an early age.

I also have a 3rd grader who in 2nd grade mastered square roots. I have no idea where he heard about them. He was taught himself multiplication in 1st grade. But he is not bored in school. He loves school. We are in a better DCPS school. He thinks his teachers are the coolest people on earth. He raves about them. I want him to stay feeling great about school, and I do worry about the future. I do think we have modeled good attitudes abotu school, learning, math and his teachers to him. I hate the thought of hours of homework - so I want to stay away from the top privates and the couple of ultra-academic charters. We don't say, "Poor RIcky, you must be so bored at school!" He also loved explaining math to/tutoring his peers.

Becasue we have no gifted programs in DC, I don't hear people talking about them much. I'm glad when I do (suburbanites at church) because it makes me think about whether we should move, it gives me information. I generally don't find it braggy - at least with my friends. And the two kids I'm thinking of have decent social skills (although one is ADHD and rather obviously so).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sick of hearing about snowflakes are bored in school!

Amen. I mean seriously - what kid actually comes home and tells their parent they are bored in elementary school. I just can't imagine saying something like that when I was in early elem school.

You sound so ignorant. Do you also object when parents/schools try to get the necessary services for autistic students, aspergers kids, etc.? Can't say I'm surprised you are raising kids who aren't inquisitive or particularly bright. To each his own.

Actually I was considered gifted in school but I have no memory of coming home from 1st or 2nd grade and stating I was bored with school. Now MS and HS - that's another story. I sometimes believe that the parents of the "bored" and "gifted" children are putting words in their kids mouths. And as far as being gifted - at some point in life - it doesn't really get you that far if you are not well-rounded in other ways. Life is about a lot more than academic giftedness.

11:24 again. Looks like this thread has been taken over by the "not gifted" who want to talk on and on and on about the gifted. Yawn.

Back to the thread. Yes, I am very tired of gifted talk.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A crucial distinction is being lost here (particularly by 11:24, the bitter but idiotic sock puppet).

There is a big difference between gifted, highly gifted, and profoundly gifted. Here is an article from a gifted site, Hoagies, that distinguishes among the different ranges of "giftedness" and whether schools can meet different types of kids' needs: http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/underserved.htm

Here are some key quotes:
- Children of IQ 133 appear in the population at a ratio of approximately 1:40. In general, an elementary school teacher could expect to encounter a child like Paula every couple years.

- Children of IQ 169 appear in the population at a ratio of less than 1:100,000. If an elementary school teacher taught 30 students each year in a professional career of 40 years, the odds against her having such a child in her class are more than 80:1.

Bottom line: the 120 and 130 kids aren't all that uncommon in the DC area, and people get tired of hearing about other peoples' 120-130 kids. It's the 160 kids who are profoundly gifted, who need the special programs.

11:24. First time I opened this thread and certainly not a sock puppet although I admit only reading this page and the one prior.

Teach you gifted kid some manners. In the long term, focusing on getting along with others will make for a happier life.

Actually, I don't disagree with you. Social skills are just as important as sheer brain power for what's most important: a happy life.

And sorry for confusing you with the obnoxious tiger mom.

Here, from the same Hoagies site:


Level IQ Range Prevalence
Mildly (or basically) Gifted 115 - 129 1:6 - 1:44
Moderately Gifted 130 - 144 1:44 - 1:1,000
Highly Gifted 145 - 159 1:1,000 - 1:10,000
Exceptionally Gifted 160 - 179 1:10,000 - 1:1 million
Profoundly Gifted 180+ Fewer than 1:1 million

As you can see, there's a big difference between Mildly or Basically gifted, and Exceptionally and Profoundly gifted. People are tired of hearing about the first group, which isn't all that rare.

Anonymous wrote:A crucial distinction is being lost here (particularly by 11:24, the bitter but idiotic sock puppet).

There is a big difference between gifted, highly gifted, and profoundly gifted. Here is an article from a gifted site, Hoagies, that distinguishes among the different ranges of "giftedness" and whether schools can meet different types of kids' needs: http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/underserved.htm

Here are some key quotes:
- Children of IQ 133 appear in the population at a ratio of approximately 1:40. In general, an elementary school teacher could expect to encounter a child like Paula every couple years.

- Children of IQ 169 appear in the population at a ratio of less than 1:100,000. If an elementary school teacher taught 30 students each year in a professional career of 40 years, the odds against her having such a child in her class are more than 80:1.

Bottom line: the 120 and 130 kids aren't all that uncommon in the DC area, and people get tired of hearing about other peoples' 120-130 kids. It's the 160 kids who are profoundly gifted, who need the special programs.

11:24. First time I opened this thread and certainly not a sock puppet although I admit only reading this page and the one prior.

Teach you gifted kid some manners. In the long term, focusing on getting along with others will make for a happier life.

11:39 again with a slightly different issue. I'm trying to get away from the stupid snark and refocus on some real issues.

Here's my take on why parents push so hard for the "gifted" label. There are at least three reasons, two of which seem reasonable, one of which seems selfish. Feel free to add your own reasons.

(1) It puts the kids on track for a magnet/competitive private school, which in turn puts the kid on track for a selective college. Yes, it's actually true that if Johnny doesn't get into advanced math in 3rd grade, it's going to be a huge leap for Johnny to get into advanced math in 6th grade, and then Johnny won't do AP calculus as a high school junior. And then who knows what college Johnny could get into.

(2) Some schools and school systems dumb down, so that "normal" is the new "gifted." In MoCo recently, 40% of kids were identified as "gifted." In a situation like this, a normal IQ kid might reasonably be bored in on-level classes.

(3) Yes, some parents do overidentify with their kids' success ("Johnny got into an ivy league school, so this makes me a good parent.") We all know these parents.

The mix of motives would obviously vary with the particular family. Feel free to add your own motives.

A crucial distinction is being lost here (particularly by 11:24, the bitter but idiotic sock puppet).

There is a big difference between gifted, highly gifted, and profoundly gifted. Here is an article from a gifted site, Hoagies, that distinguishes among the different ranges of "giftedness" and whether schools can meet different types of kids' needs: http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/underserved.htm

Here are some key quotes:
- Children of IQ 133 appear in the population at a ratio of approximately 1:40. In general, an elementary school teacher could expect to encounter a child like Paula every couple years.

- Children of IQ 169 appear in the population at a ratio of less than 1:100,000. If an elementary school teacher taught 30 students each year in a professional career of 40 years, the odds against her having such a child in her class are more than 80:1.

Bottom line: the 120 and 130 kids aren't all that uncommon in the DC area, and people get tired of hearing about other peoples' 120-130 kids. It's the 160 kids who are profoundly gifted, who need the special programs.

Yeah, the "gifted" label is the label everyone wants. So what if the kid is bright or even "gifted". He/she is an obnoxious brat with an attitude and unpleasant to be around, arrogant being a big fish in a small pond. No matter how "gifted", there is one Einstein and even for the profoundly "gifted" , there is someone else 'smarter' than you. Sheesh, "giftedness" is not a "gift" when paired with annoying and no clue on 'playing well with others'. Overrated.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sick of hearing about snowflakes are bored in school!

Amen. I mean seriously - what kid actually comes home and tells their parent they are bored in elementary school. I just can't imagine saying something like that when I was in early elem school.

My kid. My 7 year old complains loudly and consistently that his 2nd grade teacher is teaching "baby math" and that it's boring. At home, he was exploring square roots and squares last week. I haven't had a math class in 25 years, and I was doing okay, until he asked me if negative numbers have a square root.

He's not "bright." He's gifted. This is typical for gifted kids.

I am not the poster you are responding to, but this sounds a lot to me like a kid who plays violin well and has to suffer through regular elementary music class, or a child who is a gifted athlete who has to suffer through regular elementary music class. Someone will always be the best, and it does that child good to learn some patience and humility. I would actually have a little talk about modesty and respect with a child who complained loudly and consistently about "baby math." He can do as much math as he wants at home and it's not going to hold him back to sit through classes with regular children. Lest you believe I am motivated by sour grapes, I will say that I used to complain about my classes the same way when I was a child, and then I grew up to recognize that everyone learns at different rates and has different specialties and the world does not need to cater to mine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sick of hearing about snowflakes are bored in school!

Amen. I mean seriously - what kid actually comes home and tells their parent they are bored in elementary school. I just can't imagine saying something like that when I was in early elem school.

My kid. My 7 year old complains loudly and consistently that his 2nd grade teacher is teaching "baby math" and that it's boring. At home, he was exploring square roots and squares last week. I haven't had a math class in 25 years, and I was doing okay, until he asked me if negative numbers have a square root.

He's not "bright." He's gifted. This is typical for gifted kids.

No, he's not gifted, he's bright, and it's great that he's picked up these concepts somewhere, but it's not earth-shattering.

A term like "gifted" is false modesty. Check Twitter and you'll see all these posts from kids and adults bragging about this and that, yet covering it with "#blessed."

Seems the culture these days is all about branding, and it's relected by all the labels parents want pinned to their kids from an early age.