We live in a little, decidedly not fancy house in a blue collar neighborhood and send DC to private. Was a little nervous about the school community, and DC feeling strange. But his friends love coming to our house, they say, because they like my kid's crazy fort bunkbed and the yard and they like my kid. Granted, this is elementary school, but I don't expect it to change.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

See, this is where you miss the boat. I want my boys to marry into a wealthier family and make good connections in the upper middle class of the Washington area. I just hope that some of those WASP girls like my dangerous boys.

That is why my grandmother did not like my mother. She was the fatherless kid from a poor section of town. Her fatherwas an engineer who had been responsible for the whole citys electricity, but died in his 40s. She was somewhat high class, but not wealthy. And she dared to marry this other womans precious son.
The other sons married more wealthy women, and divorced. My parents are still married, and ironically my mom is the one who visited her often when she was in frail care. It took several decades for hr to get acepted, though.

I did eventually find out and at first was totally shocked that this could have happened among us.

But from what I hear, even the kennedys took some time before liking jackie.

For now I will teach my daughters to stay away from your sons

fell for it, hook, line, and sinker...

Anonymous wrote:

See, this is where you miss the boat. I want my boys to marry into a wealthier family and make good connections in the upper middle class of the Washington area. I just hope that some of those WASP girls like my dangerous boys.

That is why my grandmother did not like my mother. She was the fatherless kid from a poor section of town. Her fatherwas an engineer who had been responsible for the whole citys electricity, but died in his 40s. She was somewhat high class, but not wealthy. And she dared to marry this other womans precious son.
The other sons married more wealthy women, and divorced. My parents are still married, and ironically my mom is the one who visited her often when she was in frail care. It took several decades for hr to get acepted, though.

I did eventually find out and at first was totally shocked that this could have happened among us.

But from what I hear, even the kennedys took some time before liking jackie.

For now I will teach my daughters to stay away from your sons

See, this is where you miss the boat. I want my boys to marry into a wealthier family and make good connections in the upper middle class of the Washington area. I just hope that some of those WASP girls like my dangerous boys.


See, this is where you miss the boat. I want my boys to marry into a wealthier family and make good connections in the upper middle class of the Washington area. I just hope that some of those WASP girls like my dangerous boys.


See, this is where you miss the boat. I want my boys to marry into a wealthier family and make good connections in the upper middle class of the Washington area. I just hope that some of those WASP girls like my dangerous boys.
"See, this is where you miss the boat. I want my boys to marry into a wealthier family and make good connections in the upper middle class of the Washington area. I just hope that some of those WASP girls like my dangerous boys."

Your boys will need to be good in the sack for this!

Even so, down the line your WASP DILs will be complaining about their tacky, upstart MIL on DCUM. Beware!

Anonymous wrote:If this is serious what a twisted question...social stigma based on how nice/big your house is? Wth

Agree. I've never thought of this. We moved from a larger 4000 sqft home to a 2500 sqft home and now we almost have the house paid off. I don't care about "standing in the comm.", I want my kids to be happy and not be stressed out to have it all/do it all, like in the part of FFC I grew up in.

I would buy the newest largest house possible in the best schools/location. It will be a better investment and have lower utilities and maintenance issues. Remember in about 80% of the USA the houses considered McMansions in the DC area are standard middle class houses.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, there will always be people judging you. You are being judged for even asking the question.

When we were house hunting, we decided we did not want to be the poor family in the rich neighborhood. Sure, maybe our kids would benefit from being around wealth and money, but we also know they would be judged for being the poor kids. Our HHI is about $165k, high for most of the country, but middle class in much of WMA and considered "poor" in some areas of WMA.

See, this is where you miss the boat. I want my boys to marry into a wealthier family and make good connections in the upper middle class of the Washington area. I just hope that some of those WASP girls like my dangerous boys.

OP, I don't think you're a sociology student.

I think you're a high school student. At least, I hope you are -- you're so very, very immature and insecure. Please grow up.

P.S. I'll bet your kids will be picked on for having a crazy mom no matter what house you buy, so just get the one you like best, 'kay?

I'd be more concerned about the negative effects of bringing up my kid in great big house than the other way around.

I have a very down-to-earth friend with wealthy parents. When the friend went off to college, the parents traded up from their modest house to a really nice one. The girl asked them, "How can you afford this????" And they said something to the effect of, "We have lots of money. We just didn't want you to know that."

Bought a cheap house near public housing because that's what we could afford at the time. Kid was in DCPS at the time. Later sent her to private school. She hated our house. And hated that it wasn't on the red line.

Guess what. She survived. House increased in value and we were able to fund 1.5 years of private school through a refi. Kid is also pretty streetwise and savvy and comfortable in neighborhoods all over the District. Ultimately I know she would still have preferred to grow up in a pretty house closer to her school mates - but you know, there are kids who live in much worse circumstances than ours. She doesn't get to decide where the whole family has to live. Plus I think she will run her own family the same way.

Also our situation is such that we have extra flexibility. I've been tied down before to a house I paid too much for. It's a horrible burden. I feel so much more confident knowing that there is room to maneuver if hard times hit.

But, OP, we don't care what other people think about our house. We don't run in circles like that. If it makes a difference to you professionally, maybe you should go for it. But not because you're worried about your kids being accepted.

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. Hit the submit button too soon. So let me rephrase the question then, without the "stigma on kids" part:

Is it really worth it to shell out 1.2M + increased interest and taxes for an admittedly nice and new house that we could afford, if an older one would be sufficient in terms of appearance and square footage?

OP, this is a reasonable question but it is not what you asked. You specifically focused on status for your children and yourself. That's weird. I don't think most people consider that when buying homes and it's a pretty ridiculous reason to shell out hundreds of thousands of dollars more than you would otherwise. Now if you're saying, is it really worth paying for that extra bedroom, or the kitchen that's exactly what we want, or the nice backyard--those are questions lots of us ask ourselves when house-hunting. Whether our kids will be ashamed to bring their friends home? Not so much.

I also think you're the sociology student and if you're not I think you really need to re-examine your priorities in life.

If your going to be living there for the next 20 years I'd go for the bigger, newer house. The space will be nice to have as the kids grow, new homes are usually more energy efficient, and there will be less to repair over the years and as a doc you probably don't have ton of time to be doing a lot of "home projects" and renovations (Dh is a doctor, I understand the hours).

Good luck with your decision.

Well, frankly we are trying to figure out the same question but are not concerned about "standing in the community" as it were, and we are waffling between 600 k for the TINY, but adequate and not updated house, and the 800 k looks great to me, but I guess OP would think we are poor house

It is a tough decision, and I guess it scales appropriately.

Yes, there will always be people judging you. You are being judged for even asking the question.

When we were house hunting, we decided we did not want to be the poor family in the rich neighborhood. Sure, maybe our kids would benefit from being around wealth and money, but we also know they would be judged for being the poor kids. Our HHI is about $165k, high for most of the country, but middle class in much of WMA and considered "poor" in some areas of WMA.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Make it warm and cozy and comfortable and it will be a place that you and your family can be happy."

OP is waay too tightly wound to ever do this!

I'm so glad that my post also gave you insight into my decorating skills. Again, I'm thrilled that my family will live among such prejudice-free people

Wow! You are obtuse! A warm and cozy and comfortable home has very little to do with decorating skills. Really, really obtuse.

+ 1

Obtuse, shallow and insecure - what a great combination!