depends on what he wants... he will be 5 in October so Im working that out...

in the past he gotten everything from a a train table and ton of trains to another year he got a used boxed of kid kinects from craigslist.

I more look at what is going to be used then price and amount....

Anonymous wrote:We have two kids who are grammar school aged. On average, we usually buy about 37 presents each for their birthday, with a total retail value not to exceed $4,000. We tell our friends to bring cash to the birthday parties so we can deposit it in the trust funds.

You have friends?

Anonymous wrote:I cannot imagine not giving any gifts to my kids on their special day. They are gifts in my life and i love to celebrate their presence here. It is not about material value at all, it is about showing you care and their day is special as they are.

You can make a child's day special and show them you care without buying them gifts. I am what you would consider poor (though I am comfortable) and assure you my daughter feels special on her birthday.

She gets breakfast in bed. Fruit salad spelling out her name included in bkfast. Do her hair extra fancy. A treat with lunch (a hershey kiss, a fortune cookie, etc.). A napkin with a happy birthday message. Her favorite foods for dinner. We'll do dessert on her birthday. I'll let her use my bubble bath, deep condition her hair. Let her stay up an extra half hour and play a game with her. All things that don't happen on regular days.

We have two kids who are grammar school aged. On average, we usually buy about 37 presents each for their birthday, with a total retail value not to exceed $4,000. We tell our friends to bring cash to the birthday parties so we can deposit it in the trust funds.

I cannot imagine not giving any gifts to my kids on their special day. They are gifts in my life and i love to celebrate their presence here. It is not about material value at all, it is about showing you care and their day is special as they are.

Anonymous wrote:We give about 5-7 presents for each of our two girls. We don't have family in the area, and they rarely if ever send gifts, so I want them to have presents to open. We give about the same number for Christmas and birthdays. I think it would be sad if my children only had one present to open on Christmas morning.

Completely agree. Same in our household.

I have been laughing at myself because I just spent $110 on a set of magnatiles for my daughter's third birthday. More than $100 seems like a lot of money for a 3 year old!

Zero. We don't get our kids birthday presents though we do give them a card with a nice message written in it. We throw birthday parties (now "no gift" parties since our kids are in elementary school) and we give each child an "experience," a gift that the whole family can enjoy. Some years we go out to dinner, others we might do a trip to an amusement park.

It may sound austere but it's actually just what has naturally evolved in our house. We didn't have any big plan -- our kids just don't like "stuff" that much so this seemed like the natural course to take.

Anonymous wrote:My kids are little (3 and 8 months) and for now, we usually do one or two birthday presents and a few Christmas presents. Birthday is usually one present from us (though we did get her a book and doll for her first birthday - other birthday presents have been a Duplo zoo and a scooter). For Christmas, we do maybe 3-4 small presents (a book, a smaller toy, etc.) and one big present that's from Santa. Whatever we get, I try to find a good deal - the Duplo zoo we gave her for her second birthday was $100 marked down to $30.

Both sets of grandparents are very generous, and I suppose we might do a few more presents if that wasn't the case - but I feel like they're still little enough that they're just as happy with a few things than a lot of things, so why buy more? My mom brings a ton of stuff every time she visits and my daughter really can't focus on more than two or three things - she'll get a book and a toy from grandma and be happy playing with those, and then grandma busts out five more things. I figure there will be lots of time for our kids to want more and don't see a reason to encourage it.

MIL is this way, and I hate it! It's not just the gifts, but it's the push to move on from the thing DC's actually enjoying to open the next thing, look in the next bag, validate validate validate! She was better this past birthday, only bringing one (large) present, but still pushed DC to open all the things from other people at once.

To answer OP's question, one Santa gift and a couple of others (I try to stay reasonable, but I like selecting and giving gifts so it's a challenge). Usually PJs and a book. DC gets lots of presents from other people, if that changes we'll reevaluate our approach. DH likes to have many things to open under the tree, but I'm trying to avoid the socks and underwear approach of my childhood just to have more packages to unwrap.

For birthdays we do a couple of small things and let the grandparents have the big (developmentally appropriate) items. My parents usurped Santa this year, though, so I'm going to have to come up with a new Santa gift, maybe a play kitchen if I can find one that's inexpensive enough.

We do a party for bday and they get presents from friends that way. We have the space to invite a lot of kids (if they want) or do something smaller like a small group and a slumber party. We rarely get them any gifts. Both grandparents are generous and work with us to get them things they will enjoy. Usually it's clothes, winter coat, boots (practical stuff) for the girl and then a few frivolous items from 1 grandma. The other usually does art supplies, maybe some Barbie stuff. DS will generally request a few Wii or DS games or something like a Nerf gun. Probably a total of $150 per kid per bday (plus the party paid for by us).

Christmas I usually go to Value Village and get some books and stocking stuffers. Getting harder with DS as he gets older and choosier, but still a win w/ DD. Spend a total of maybe $20/kid. We get each other (parents) maybe a book or 2. Then we go meet the grandparents for a nice Florida vacation after Christmas. Would rather spend the money that way. Grandparents each spend about $75-$100 again and work with us to get things that the kids really want and will play with.

I do the "put it on your Christms list" thing, but when he was younger, I told him there could only be 3 things on the list. So, if we were in the store and he started ogling the Giant Mutant Ninja Piece of Plastic Crap, I'd say "hmmm, do you want it more than what's on your list" and he would rearrange that list. As long as he was little enough to ask for cheap things he generally got the whole list (of 3) plus some "surprises". I'll be honest and say I buy too any things.

Now that he's older, I spend way more, and he gets the same number of things, but more them are practical things. Last Christmas, for example, he got a membership in the school ski club, a new jacket (which he needed), new jeans, a few books, and a year's subscription to Hulu (we'd been TV free for a few years), and a video game. Add it all together and it cost way more than I would have spent when he was 3 or 4, but frankly other than the video game it was all stuff I'd have bought him anyway.

For his birthday he can choose a "big" present (e.g. one year he got the xbox), a quick trip somewhere (e.g. a night with his best friend at Great Wolf Lodge) or a party that costs something. If he doesn't choose the party we've invited friends somewhere free like for a nerf gun game in the park or swimming at Wilson.

We spend about $100-150 on something significant for DD, as do each grandmother, but we've also never done a party outside cupcakes at school.

Items given are intended for play throughout the year and beyond, like a play kitchen, trike, easel, or this year, a bunch of costumes. DD's bday was last week, and we're still rolling out the presents individually...between grandma gifts and the variety of dress up clothes, it would overwhelm her.

We don't celebrate x-mas, but we also don't make a big deal out of gifts for Chanukah -- we shoot for accessories to complement the other "big" gifts, eg furniture for dollhouse.

A book/craft kit sounds perfect if it's something your kid loves. It tells her that you recognize and respect her interests.

Anonymous wrote:My child's birthday gift from us is his birthday party. We have it where he wants it. We may (or may not) give him another actual gift, but the party is a gift and he enjoys opening what he is given by his guests. He wouldn't notice whether we gave him something or not. He's 5.

I like this idea.

This thread reminds me of the beginning of the first Harry Potter book/movie. Dudley comes down to breakfast and is upset because he only received 35 presents when the previous year he received 36.