Anonymous wrote:If the idea of playdates at your house is overwhelming (agree with PPs that some friends very likely wouldn't care/notice the orderliness of your house one way or the other), could you offer to take the kids to the park, library, etc. until you feel more comfortable? Also agree with PPs that your house (and life) don't need to be in perfect order before you invite people in. "Good enough" really is good enough. If people are calling you and DS for playdates, it's because they like you.

OP Again. What a novel thought---Good enough! I do feel uncomfortable, some.......as if I'm being judged and have something to proove.

Anonymous wrote:OP, your home sounds fine for playdates and very normal. Don't sweat the small stuff. It has never crossed my mind when my kids have gone to someone else's house whether the other family has steamed their floors or cleaned their appliance fronts You are also biking 50 miles - sound like a bit of a perfectionist perhaps. Great to have goals, but try not to make them so tough to achieve that the thought of not achieving them makes you miserable.

OP Again. Thank you. Yes, I have been told that I'm perfectionistic.....I do expect a lot of myself. is that perfectionism though? Deep sigh.

OP, I was the person who recommended Clutterbusters. I would suggest you go through your basement play area only (not other workroom areas of the basement, just the play area) and try to throw out or declutter whatever you can in two two hour sessions. Then hire someone to come help you finish decluttering and organizing the following week. Knowing someone is coming may help you get the energy you need to plow through. Your goal will be having a place where kids can safely play!

A houseclearner isn't what you need right now -- sounds like you need help with the clutter.

OP, your home sounds fine for playdates and very normal. Don't sweat the small stuff. It has never crossed my mind when my kids have gone to someone else's house whether the other family has steamed their floors or cleaned their appliance fronts You are also biking 50 miles - sound like a bit of a perfectionist perhaps. Great to have goals, but try not to make them so tough to achieve that the thought of not achieving them makes you miserable.

Thanks all. If you walked into my home, the first floor, where the kitchen, dining, bathroom and living room are, everything is in place (30 minutes could make it look great--meaning cleaning the cabinet and appliance fronts, steaming the kitchen floor). The finished basement play area is crowded with bins and things, and should be focused on, first, I guess. The bulging closets are an eye sore and constant reminder, but yes, I guess aren't the biggest priority--except I can't find clothing to wear easily and there are heaps of clothing around the room. P.S. I went to Baltimore and did the ride yesterday. Rode 50 miles. It was a challenge, but I feel much more optimistic today.

I'd start with your living/family room space, the powder room, and the getting the kitchen tidy. These are the places that the family and guests spend the most time in. If you have a playroom add that too.

First, get rid of any trash and paper clutter you don't need. Then, put things that don't belong in those rooms in a separate pile. Put the things that do belong in those rooms in their proper places. For example, pillows on the sofa, remotes on the tv stand, pens in a drawer, cracker box in the pantry and so on. Next, go around and clean all the counters and tabletop spaces. Once that's done, work on the floors. Sweep, vacuum. In the powder room, give the sink a quick wipe down and the toilet a quick swish.

This should be enough to at least have some friends over, just make the upstairs or the bedrooms off limits and encourage outdoor play. Once you have more time, get to the items that were placed in that separate pile and start putting them in places they belong (shirts in the hamper, books on the bookshelf or bedroom, etc.). Throw out things you need to think too long about.

Later, for your closet. Start organizing and cleaning it with a big bin next to you. Throw clothes that are out of style, unworn for a long time, too small or too big in the bin to donate. Then separate all your winter and summer clothes. Get an idea of how much space you will need for your clothes and if you cannot make it work in your space call a couple of closet people to get estimates. Or get those double hanger things that will increase your hanging space and a dresser for the things you won't hang.

Good luck OP, I know how you feel I've been there.

If the idea of playdates at your house is overwhelming (agree with PPs that some friends very likely wouldn't care/notice the orderliness of your house one way or the other), could you offer to take the kids to the park, library, etc. until you feel more comfortable? Also agree with PPs that your house (and life) don't need to be in perfect order before you invite people in. "Good enough" really is good enough. If people are calling you and DS for playdates, it's because they like you.

Look, if it's just your personal closet, that shouldn't impede your social life. Obviously there's more, yes? Deal with the things that are in the public space. You can chip away at your closets in groups of six items if need be, but get the place ready for playdates. Or maybe find friends who don't care. They exist.

OP, First, BREATHE. I would pick the one thing at home that is stressing you out the most (it sounds like the closets) and start there.

Second, I would focus on the play dates b/c social skills are so critical and you don't want to loose the momentum of the invites.

Everything else can wait. You don't need to learn how to follow a new diet at this point or take on unnecessary stress. GL.

OP again. Thanks for all of the feedback. I'm feeling stuck and unclear about the order of how I should best address things. I called two people about house cleaning estimates for earlier this week, and then got a bad cold and canceled them. It's a week later, and I've gotten rid of some things, but not enough to be noticable. I feel in a general funk (the cold and perimenopause, does not help, and neither does my son being up twice during the night needing medical attention). I've always been physically active and pushed myself...I take spin (and push myself to the hilt), ride a road bike--30 to 40 miles on weekends, and this has served as an antidepressant and a time to meditate. Lately I've not been feeling well and have not ridden or spun in weeks--while continuing to eat chocolate and chips daily (against my will). I was supposed to do a 50 mile ride tomorrow, but am trying to sell my registration b/c I won't be able to get up earlier enough to get to Baltimore for the 7 a.m. start time. Enough background. My closets are still disorganized and bulging (my son's are managed. I've got a chest of drawers in an already too small closet (previous home had a walk in closet....not this one). Has anyone used a closet re-doing company they could recommend? Can someone please help me set priorities please? My dc's school mates are inviting us for play dates, and if we don't respond in kind we won't have friend's or a social life. I know there is talk about the Paleo diet, but I don't know how to start. I don't cook much. Hope I don't sound like a total mess. My dh says I'm hard on myself, and I am. Thank you.

After you get your house in order through an organizer, through ADD assistance, other, consider having someone come into your house a few times a week to handle your filing. For example, think about a nanny who now has mornings off. You could have this person work with the organizer to understand where everything should go, and then that person could follow the rules set by the organizer. Our nanny doesn't do our filing, but every so often she gets bored and she'll clean out a closet, resort the kids toys, etc. I am sure that there must be people out there who aren't trained professionals but who could work with a trained professional to get you set up and then keep it that way. Good luck!

Oh see there's the ADD. And here's the blog entry:
http://www.freckleditalian.com/2012/01/on-going-paleo-thirty-days-later.html

I love that Paleo came up - I just heard of it not that long ago from a friend. Who sent me this blog entry about going Paleo. Kinda charming. DS and I both have ADD issues so I'm considering it. DS would eat 13 large chicken fingers for every meal if I let him, so he's practically there already.

NP here. I have helped many, many people with organizing. I'm not a professional organizer, but my hope is that one day I will be. I live in Frederick and am willing to help you if you are interested. I really enjoy it and am happy to help you. I have references! If you reply to this, I will send you my info. Thanks.

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I tried Aderall (sp) once (a weird psychiatrist prescribed it and said if it works I'd know it.) I was so wired and wide eyed that it was almost unbearable. That was the end of that, for me. Maybe I'd need a non stimulant, if I do have ADD. I've read the Ed Hallowell books, and think I am. My DH says I am. I can be mid sentence and drift off b/c something has caught my attention or if I'm in a room full of people, I want to be in everyone's conversation at once, and really have to focus to talk with the person I'm talking to. Yet, I'm incredibly productive and organized at work, get exceptional reviews, don't miss deadlines......at home it's different.

Hi OP, I was the one who suggested medication and I can't take stimulants and take a non-stimulant. It's very helpful but it did take several tries to adjust the dosage.